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You know how I wrote that blog about how I found about Santa? Well, my sister Bethany wrote a response to it, about how she found out.

And I am killed. The twiddlebugs! I'd forgotten about them. Really, you should go read it.

Wiping tears…

Well, golly, the holidays are expensive, what with all the jet-setting to Paris and Rome, and the helicopter trips to Aspen and and gifts for the doormen.

You know?

Oh, wait. What I really mean is the property taxes paid just at the due date (ahem), and the $700 repair on the brakes that went out (I drove the car to the shop, thinking that I had more braking power than I did — turns out I'd bled the brakes dry of fluid by the time I got there. The master cylinder had blown. I wasn't stopping when I tried stopping. Eeep!) on Lala's car last week, and the $600 repair on my car yesterday (serpentine belt and oil leaks and various other things), and the (ALSO YESTERDAY) $400 repair on tiny Miss Idaho whose tiny chihuahua teeth are apparently made of gold. We are thinking of getting her a teeny little grill so she can be fly. Yo. 

Sigh. Good thing that we like thrift stores, cheap wine, and staying in. 

And speaking of pets — and I have to tell you this or I'll explode because it's so funny, and you appreciate a good Digit story, but it's not couth, so forgive me.

You know how cats sit in warm places? Our central heat registers are in the floor. Very sensible. Heat registers that are in the ceilings make me crazy, since hot air rises. But ours are done right, and old Mr. Digit really loves to sit on top of them, letting the hot air blow all over him. Last night, while we were eating dinner, I saw him washing his bottom next to the heat register. When he was done, he backed up to it and air dried himself, like a person holding his hands up to a hand dryer in a public bathroom. Only, well, it wasn't his hand.

What?

It was priceless. (To those of you who have come over from BookClubGirl, welcome! I hope you're not horrified by the cat-butt story.  To my regular readers, go over there and check out how I learned about Santa Claus. SPOILER ALERT – I TALK ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT HE'S REAL. Not for the faint of heart.)

1. I’m up, talking about Crafts over at the PensFatales, realizing it was inevitable I wrote the book I did.

2. You might not know about this good cause: Decadent Pets in Tracy, California, gives pet food away every Saturday to jobless people who are having a hard time feeding their pets. It’s a super high-foreclosure area, hit hard by the recession. They’d appreciate help with donations of pet-food. Mwah.

I think there's a real connection between yoga and writing for me. Yes, I love them both, but more than that, I love having done them.

Sure, yoga is amazing. In the middle of a pose, I get it. I feel exactly right. I'm flying. Everything feels fixed and good and strong.

But then other times, I'm upside-down in plow position, looking at my belly which is falling down toward me in an alarming direction, struggling to breathe, thinking I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE IT, I THINK I WILL DIE NOW.

And writing is the same. I sit at my desk and every once in a while, I fly. The words flow and I look up and an hour has gone by, and the words I've written are brilliant, every single one a sparkling gem.

But really, most often it goes like this: Peck, peck, peck. CAN I LOOK AT TWITTER YET? Rearrange this, would he really say that? Are you serious, I wrote that? HEAD TO DESK. Start over with that. Move that to there. Oh, that's nice. I like that bit quite a lot. Nice job, you. You can have some more coffee, then. Yes, Twitter now.

The great thing, though, is being done. The wonderful thing is walking the dogs after having written for four hours. The best thing is a nap after yoga.

You know what I would like, though? This: I have found that yoga is the one thing during which I can't think of anything else. It has a lot to do with my wonderful teacher, Alice Joanou at Loka Yoga in Oakland, who I think might be trying to kill us all (in a good way), but when I'm practicing with her, I can't do anything else but listen to my breath and my body. My brain shuts up for 90 minutes. Okay, for 80 minutes, because there are some quiet minutes during which we're just breathing, and my brain tries to chatter, and I try to shut it up and breathe. But for those other 80, that yoga-motion is the best method for quieting the monkey-mind I've ever found.

Oh, my point: I would like if someday I could move this practice to my writing. If I could sit down at my desk to write and find that kind of focus and energy and bring it there, also. The two FEEL so linked that I can imagine it's possible.

I'm gonna keep trying anyway.

* Your reward for sitting through this rather New-Age-y post is an even stranger question: Has anyone ever had this happen to them? Twice now, in yoga, at the very beginning, during the breathing portion, where we're just sitting and breathing, I've had it happen that when my eyes are closed, I'm completely convinced that my head is turned to the right, looking over my right shoulder. It happened again today. I open my eyes and confirm I'm still sitting with my head straight forward. As soon as I close them, my center of balance says that my head is looking over my shoulder. It's devastating to my balance and very confusing. It goes away quickly, and the rest of my class is normal. Anyone? I asked Alice and she'd never heard of anything like it.

** Edited to add: Caroline pointed out that this is called proprioception. I looked it up on Wikipedia, and it says this: "Proprioception is occasionally impaired spontaneously, especially when
one is tired. One's body may appear too large or too small, or parts of
the body may appear distorted in size. Similar effects can sometimes
occur during epilepsy or migraine auras." Well, heck! I'm on seizure medication for my migraines, and I've never had this happen before I went on this stuff. I kinda thought it might be a side effect of the Topomax, but that makes me think that's what it is for sure. Either that or there's something behind me. 

It's Unofficially Official Agent Appreciation Day!

Okay, it's a brand new holiday, but I want to celebrate it in style, and since I have the best agent in the whole world, Susanna Einstein, I want to tell you how awesome she is.

1. She believes in me.

When I'm at the bottom, on the floor of my office, crying and thinking that no one has ever written worse prose in the whole wide world and that I should probably move to Borneo, she just tells me not to worry. She tells me the book I'm editing is good, and that it will be amazing. And Susanna doesn't pull punches, so when she tells me something, I believe her. I trust her. If Susanna believes it, I can believe it, too.

2. She responds to me.

This is bigger than it sounds. I hear horror stories from friends about agents (and these are good agents, supposedly) who take hours, or days, or WEEKS to return emails or phone calls. Yesterday I sent Susanna a worried question via email. I got a return response within minutes. And it was a no-nonsense, put-on-your-big-girl-pants response. So I put on my big-girl pants, called my editor, asked my question, and got the BEST ANSWER, and it was all due to Susanna being smart and responsive as hell.

3. She is funny and smart and awesome and pretty and great.

I just like hanging out with her. Period. She's good people.

4. She understands the rules.

I had a question the other day about subrights. I thought I'd figured it out, and posited my theory to her. Her answer blew me out of the water, and made me think OH MY GOD, NO ONE SHOULD TRY TO NAVIGATE THESE WATERS ALONE. No one. I can't believe that people try.

5. When we celebrate, she buys me champagne.

I am so, so, so, so lucky to have her in my corner. Happy UOAAD, Susanna!

Okay, this cracks me UP. You know what that is? It’s my book’s ISBN, knitted onto a hot water bottle (known in many parts of the world as a hottie). Take a hottie to bed, and stay warm ALL night. Heh.

I’ve redone the pattern, curving the bottom the same way the top curves (finally got around to it), and it’s a great way to learn how to cable, if you’ve never tried before. And it’s a fast, easy Xmas gift. Hot water bottles are cheap here. 

Cabled Version:

 

There are hundreds of others, already made over on Ravelry, and here’s the newly prettified pattern, just for you:

Download Printable PDF HERE for ISBN Hottie

ISBN Hottie

Finished Measurements:
Circumference: 17 inches,   
Length: 18 inches

Yarn: Approx. 200 yds worsted weight yarn (if striped version, 100 yds of Main Color (MC), and 100 yds of Contrast Color (CC))
Needles: US 7 (4.5mm) 16 inch circular or size to achieve gauge.
Notions: Stitch markers, cable needle, yarn needle

Gauge: 16 sts and 24 rounds = 4 inches in Stockinette stitch

CABLED VERSION:
Directions
Cast on 52 sts and join to work in the round. Place a marker at beginning of round and after 26 sts to mark sides.
Round 1: * K1f&b, knit to 1 st before marker, k1f&b, slip marker; repeat from * once – 4 sts increased.
Rounds 2-4: Repeat Round 1 – 68 sts at end of Round 4.
Rounds 5-9: K12, p2, k6, p2, k12, slip marker, k34.
Round 10: K12, p2, slip the next 3 sts onto cable needle and hold behind work, knit the next 3 sts from the left-hand needle, then knit the 3 sts from the cable needle, p2, knit to end of round.
Repeat Rounds 5-10 until piece measures 10 inches from beginning.

Neck
Decrease Round: * Work to 3 sts before marker, k2tog, k1, slip marker, k1, ssk; repeat from * once – 4 sts decreased.
Maintaining cable pattern, repeat Decrease Round three more times – 52 sts remain.
Ribbing Round: * K2, p2; repeat from * to end of round.
Repeat this round until the neck is 8 inches long (total length is 18 inches). Bind off all sts loosely in rib.

STRIPED ISBN VERSION:
Cast on as for Cabled Version. Work first 4 Rounds in Main Color (MC), 68 sts at end of Round 4.
Work 9 Rounds Contrast Color (CC) (These and all subsequent rows remain in Stockinette stitch). Now work alternating rows of color in this stripe pattern: 7, 8, 6, 1, 8, 4, 1, 2, 9, 3.
Work Neck in MC, same as Cabled Version (or if your row gauge differs, work Neck in MC at ten inches from cast on edge)

Finishing
Sew bottom closed. Weave in ends.

List of Abbreviations
Approx – Approximately
K – Knit
K1f&b – Knit one front and back (increase stitch)
K2tog – Knit two together (decrease stitch)
P – Purl
Ssk – Slip two stitches one at a time as if to knit, slip those two stitches back to left-hand needle and knit them together through the back loops (decrease stitch)
St(s) – Stitch(es)
Stockinette stitch – in the round, knit every round