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Someone please explain to me how it is in any way possible that I ran a marathon in Hawaii, and then ran around Mills College in the rain just yesterday, through mud puddles, and on slick sidewalks, and yet last night at work I managed to twist the shit out of my ankle while I was STANDING on the spot where the carpet meets the incredibly dangerous eighth-of-a-centimeter plastic mat? True talent, mine.

Hey, you like the new banner? Is that just weird that I’m posting a picture of my tub? Too intimate? Don’t really care, because nothing in my whole enormous  540 square foot living space thrills me like that tub. Well, maybe opening my door with my own key. And my cute cats (see below). But then, the tub. I have discovered recently that coffee is even more enjoyable than beer in the tub. Don’t ask me why that is. I don’t know.

Anyway. Is it Friday yet?

while I was at the parents’ house for the holiday:

Hey! How were your holidays? I guess they’re not over yet, are they? Lots of people have the week off, and bless ’em. Me, I have to go back to work tonight. I got off Christmas morning, took a brief nap for driving safety, drove the 250 miles home, ate dinner, and PASSED OUT. I think I slept twelve hours that night, something I never manage to do.

We did open prezzies, though, which was fun. Bethany’s still in Montana, and we missed the hell outta her, but here are the other Herron gals:

Didn’t knit anything for anyone this Xmas. I made Lala some socks out of Twisted Sister yarn the color of Skittles:

but she only accidentally got them near Christmas. A happy coincidence, I think.

I used the same yarn, different color, for a pair for myself, which I just finished. Now, I have a method for making socks. I’m no embellisher, no cables or lacework in my socks, just a good toe-up sock, with a ribbed cuff. I know how long to make each part of a sock for myself by measuring it as I go against my hand. Therefore, after I finished sock #1, I put it away and didn’t refer to it again until sock #2 was completed. That’s when I realized that I must have bought a different dye-lot.

Whoops. And honestly, I really don’t care, since they’re for me. Now that’s got to be a FAST trotting horse, but trot it does.

And while we’re on knitting (briefly, don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll neglect knitting content for weeks after this spate), here’s the Manos my friend Lynn sent me:

Doesn’t its beauty just hurt? Mmmm. Here’s what I’m thinking: A reg’lar ole bottom-up raglan, but with stripes, and maybe a wee cable up both arms. And that’s when I lose control, start thinking about the LARGE cable I could put up the front, a la Starmore, with the stripes running through them, and I have two thoughts: #1: Slow it down, partner! One thing at a time. #2: It’s my sweater and I can do whatever I want with it, thus the joy of knitting. (That’s what Mariko said when we met for coffee the other night. Her husband is as nice as she is, and that’s a very large statement. And she didn’t throw anything at me as retribution for essentially outing her as a child-Santa-phobe a couple of post ago.)

But I do admit a nice simple stripey raglan might be just the thing.

Let me put you where I am. Well, that might be uncomfortable, since I’m occupying this chair and don’t really feel like fighting over it. I’m at work, settled in for a long winter’s shift. Got here at 7pm, getting off work at 7am. It’s currently o’dark thirty and holding. In front of me are four big ole computer screens. One is the police radio, one is the phone system, both 911 lines and normal police phones, and two screens are for the computer-aided dispatch computers, which keep track of where my cops are at all times. Okay, most times. Sometimes they go to Starbucks without telling me (or offering me a cup) but they shouldn’t do that. Right now I have two officers at lunch (breakfast, whatever), three in the green (available), and one sergeant somewhere in the building.

It’s a small room, with five chairs. There are only two dispatchers working right now — me and my late-night partner JoAnn. We’re a good team. We knit. We don’t gossip, except for things like the Peterson trial or current Jessica Simpson scandal. She keeps up with those types of things and fills me in when I need to be filled.

We have holiday lighting and decorations all over the room. A string of white-light icicles goes exactly three-quarters of the way around the room, which kind of drives me crazy, but it’s all right. All the regular overhead lights are off in deference to our desperate desire to sleep.

The radio in the break-room is set on a popular station — mostly today’s hit music (sigh) with a light smattering of Xmas tunes. Not so many Christmas tunes that I want to slit my wrists, just enough to seep into the brain and remind you that yes, you’re at work while everyone else is drinking spiked egg nog.

To my left are: My purse, my knit-kit, a half-done sock, a Clapotis pattern, a map of the city, an empty *$ cup, a lipgloss, and half a roll of toilet paper because my nose won’t stop running. To my right are: A city phone directory, an article on sweater design, a half bottle of water, a shaker of salt, and TJ’s peanut-butter filled pretzels. At my feet is a Honolulu Marathon bag that’s holding my novel (hey, I really didn’t notice how poetic that was until just now). My feet are propped up on an upside down recycling bin. I’m in uniform. We won’t discuss that.

Today, I’ll go see Lala for a minute (maybe two if she’s lucky), then go home and to bed. Up this afternoon to wrap and prep for the Christmas that I didn’t really see coming. I need glasses, apparently. Then back in at 7pm until 7am, when I’ll go home for a quick nap before getting on the road to drive home (5 hours south) for Christmas dinner.

Think of your public servants this weekend, people. It’s hard to be at work when you just want to be at home with your family and loved ones. And there are a lot of us out here — dispatchers, cops, doctors, nurses, EMTs, firefighters, security guards, bridgetenders…. I’ve run out. Sleepy. I think bridgetender is rather creative, actually. Oh! Pilots. Bus-drivers. I bet you get the picture now. Anyway. You know what I mean.

Truly, I’m happy to be here. It’s weird, but I am. ESPECIALLY since Rosa is picking up tamales tonight on her way to work from the best tamale place in the whole world (the history page is great). I don’t mind working. And I get to see my family on Christmas night, which is more than I’ve been able to in past years.

Did I mention I get tamales tonight? I’m not eating all DAY in preparation. Dude.

Merry Christmas, all y’all who celebrate it. Those who don’t, have a great Saturday. Hug yer loved ones, and tell them what they mean to you, and I’ll see you on Monday(ish).

Nothing, and I do mean nothing, puts me in the holiday spirit like kids bein’ scared of Santa. But none of the kids in that gallery have anything on our own Super Eggplant Mariko, sold down the river last year by her Insane Brother (sold down the same river this year by me). If you didn’t see her last year, see her this year HERE.

(Maybe she’ll exact her revenge in candy….)

You know, I just erased two paragraphs that were too boring to ever hit the backs of your eyeballs. Seriously. I don’t want to waste your time. Let me sum up: #1 – Manos is cool. #2 – I have a home warranty which I didn’t know about, which I am excited about, especially now that I’ll be able to get my heater fixed. (Typo: Hearter. Nope, that one’s doing just fine, no warranty necessary.)

That’s it, apparently. I’m running on empty. If I find anything interesting in my head later, I’ll let you know. But nothing right now. I’m going to wind yarn, because I’m not good for much else right now. Bo-ring.

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