It’s an odd light outside – that warm late afternoon brightness hitting the leaves, a sullen cold darkness underneath. Do you know what I mean? It’s spring, but the light has that early autumn look to it. I have the window all the way open, and Digit is sitting at the screen, licking his chops, satisfied that he woke me from my nap in time for dinner.
Yes, nap. No, I wasn’t at work. I did go in yesterday for ten hours and left more tired than can be imagined. On my doorstep at home was a gift of SLIPPERS from one of my favorite people, so I was very cheered. Today I got up, feeling like hell, like a cow had slept right ON my chest and I couldn’t move the beast. I went in to work. At hour eight, I went home four hours early. Luckily, the people who had to cover for me did so cheerfully, and almost voluntarily. I think my cough is fierce and alarming to those not used to it. And I realized that eight hours, while it’s a short shift for me, is long damn enough (I think I meant “damn long enough” but I like it better this way).
I think I’ve been a little naive in thinking that it goes like this: You get sick. You get better. ‘Tisn’t like that. It goes more like this: You get sick. You get a little sicker. You get a little better but still feel sick. Maybe a little better after that, but don’t PUSH it. Then you feel pretty sick again. I push things. Why, yes, I do. Surprised? Why not?
I was supposed to go to dinner tonight with friends, after my shift (I know, I know. I push). I was so sad that I would miss them (and the steak they were cookin’ for me), but when I called to cancel, my lovely friend said she’d drive my dinner over later. That’s what you get when you listen to your body. (OMG, speaking of listening to bodies, did you read Greta’s post today (March 27th, Stars on Ice)? Holy cow. She is dialed IN, people, and I’ve seen it in action.)
I get almost three more days to rest up, don’t have to be back at work until 5pm on Tuesday to start back to midnights. I’ll be good and strong by then. And now, I’m off to enjoy watching the light change in this dusk…..
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