Y'all, look at what Rena set up for the Boston Love Blanket(s)! A Facebook page with photos!
RESUME:
I have many skills, y'all. I am a rice whisperer–my rice (sushi rice, white, brown, jasmine, even cauliflower rice!) always turns out amazing. I can make grumpy people laugh. I can tell a joke well even if I've forgotten the punch line. I can sew a dress and knit a sweater without a pattern. I write books, from Once Upon a Time all the way through to The End.
But hey-zeus, I can't get to the post office.
I owe books from the last drawing. I swear, that must have been a month ago. The books are still on my porch, sending me evil glares every time I walk past them. If I owe you a book, I haven't forgotten you, nor did I ask for your home address just so I could come watch TV with you some random afternoon (although if you're watching Nashville, scoot over, I'm watching with you*).
I do not know what my hang-up is. It's true, I hate the post office. That's a given. My post office is one of the scariest places I've ever been. The line stretches around the block, there's only ever one employee who obviously bitterly hates all of humanity, and the bullet-proof glass is dented as if it's been tested more than once.
But I have a rental mailbox! You know, at one of those fancy Not A Post Office places! I have it expressly so I can get deliveries that are important (because my mailman comes up my walk with the slip that says Sorry You Weren't Home pre-filled out . . . when I am home). My mailbox store is a lovely place, staffed by a smiling man whose name I always forget and Jean, whose smile could split timber. I love going there!
So why can't I just get the books into the post? Why can't I take them to Jean? I have no idea. This blog entry is by way of apology, a huge blanket mea culpa, to everyone to whom I owe stuff. Please forgive me. I can't explain it. I'll get there someday, I promise.
(Oooh! I swear I didn't start this post with this idea, but I just had it, and I JUST FIGURED IT OUT. Write to me! Send me a letter! Oh, my gosh, I'd LOVE a letter! A real letter! From someone who is not selling me anything! Oooooh! I haven't received a proper letter in, like, years. I will TOTALLY go to the mailbox if I think something might be there. I'm freaking out right now with excitement. My mailing address: Rachael Herron, 3542 Fruitvale Ave #135, Oakland, CA 94602.)
Oooh! Oooooh!
*Because, oh, my. Nashville's Deacon Claiborne. I mean. Damn. He's totally the imaginary hero of the book I'm writing right now. Here's an inspiring screenshot for you. You're welcome.
ETA Snowgoddess's wonderful comment: Dear Ms. Herron, Thank you for you continued patronage of our fancy Not a Post Office place. We strive to continue to offer you new and fancier Not a Post Office place services. We would like to introduce you to our newest employee Deacon Claiborne, formerly of Nashville, (actually on hiatus) currently researching a part for his next film, Let Me Do That For You, a lustful romance comedy drama about a fancy Not a Post Office place employee who lusts for a stunning writer wrapped in handknits with seemingly endless amount of packages to be mailed. Oh, and he will supply the strapping tape. We hope to see you soon. Your nearest fancy Not a Post Office Place
But will you remember to take the books? 🙂
My mail persons (we’ve had several over the years) don’t even bother putting the packages in their rig! I understand that I live on a rural route, and you don’t have to, but why do I have to wait until the next day to go get my package, when it isn’t traveling around the countryside with you???
And I’m with you on not wanting to go to the post office, even though we normally have more than one person working the counter, and most of them are rather nice, and we don’t have any barrier other than the counter, let alone bullet-proof glass.
Promise yourself a BIG reward! Go get a giant mocha after mailing all the books. 🙂
I hear what you’re saying about that particular PO — Dimond, right? I try to sneak in right when it opens and often there’s no line at all and the clerks aren’t snarling yet…
Oooh! Are we playing Guess The Post Office?! I guess MacArthur and, oh hell I don’t remember but it’s a few blocks your direction from Eastmont.
I use High Street, just above MacArthur, but I have the exact same problem getting to it. (No bullet proof glass though.) I have salami in my fridge that needs to go to my brother before it gets hot again.
Did you watch this week? Such big doings. I agree with you about Deacon, but also confess to an age inappropriate crush on Gunner. At least until he started being such a nozzle.
Dear Rachael
It must be universal that posties have the card pre-written. They don’t even get out of the van here – just leave the card in the mail box.I’ve been known to try and catch them but they run really fast, jump behind the wheel and burn rubber to get away because they haven’t got my parcel anyway!
I’ve written you a letter but I can’t post it until Monday – it’s Saturday now – and I don’t know how long it will take to get across the world so you’ll have to keep checking the post office. No need to write back as I imagine you will be flooded with snail mail. I do hope you enjoy collecting your mail … you deserve good stuff.
Dear Ms. Herron,
Thank you for you continued patronage of our fancy Not a Post Office place.
We strive to continue to offer you new and fancier Not a Post Office place services.
We would like to introduce you to our newest employee Deacon Claiborne, formerly of Nashville, (actually on hiatus) currently researching a part for his next film, Let Me Do That For You, a lustful romance comedy drama about a fancy Not a Post Office place employee who lusts for a stunning writer wrapped in handknits with seemingly endless amount of packages to be mailed.
Oh, and he will supply the strapping tape.
We hope to see you soon.
Your nearest fancy Not a Post Office Place
I will so totally write you a letter! I love writing letters and I have several people with whom I regularly exchange letters. I swear these past few years I’ve gotten better at writing letters than anything else. (except maybe blog comments.) I live for mail, it is amazing.
And my mail man is sucky mail man. I walk past him — I walk everywhere — and he doesn’t wave. I’m not asking to be best friends, but he could be a little polite. And he smokes on the job too, which irritates me.
Our mailman is lovely, and the folks at our city post office are friendly and helpful. I’m so sorry that isn’t true of yours!
Our current mailman is wonderful. He has a sense of humor. I am one of few people on his route who writes and receives real letters. Our previous mailman was great, too. I wish I could say the same about the FedEx driver on our route. I’ve watched him hurl packages toward our door more than once.
The elderly couple that run the contract post office in our neighborhood are real characters and their conveniently located across the street from Bark Central, our cocker’s groomer.
You will now get All The Mail. But not just that. It will be All The Mail of Awesomeness. Simply because you’re you and deserve nothing less. 🙂
I actually feel rather lucky that our post office is the way it is. It can be really slow (especially every other Wednesday when this HR person stands there, monopolizing the time of the only clerk who knows anything, because she has to stamp every.single.blessed.page in this secret book of hers when mailing out over a hundred paychecks), but the workers are friendly enough. One was a HUGE help in making sure I got all the love square mail. She knows me on sight and would keep everything set aside in a crate rather than trying to shove it all in our too-small rented box…or those annoying parcel lockers that are too high for me to reach.
I’m very lucky. Small town, nice people. They know everyone by name and we know theirs. It’s the social gathering place especially between 11 and 12 when the mail is all in. The community bulletin board is there with everything that everyone needs to know. From lost/found animals to jobs to what the American Legion is serving on Friday. Don’t mind at all that home delivery is not offered for us. And it’s only a mile away from my house!
I live in a small city with great neighborhoods, so our post office is pretty small towny, albeit often there is a line. The clerks are friendly. That being said, I too often get the dreaded package slip. and Packages are to be picked up at a different place than the regular post office. There is a big cinderblock building with a metal door and a door bell. Inside is the actual sorting depot for our tiny post office, and a little desk where they keep the stray packages. It is always an adventure.
I am thinking I might write you an actual real letter, and enclose a picture of my favorite heart throb, who is as
beautiful as Deacon.
I will TOTALLY write you a letter! I love writing letters…I have so much stationery that is rarely used. I agree with you; getting mail is loads of fun!
Try going to a post office in a different town. I hate going to the one in my town but the next town over-great experience.
Do you have a scale? You can print postage online, tape it to the package, drop it in a box (if under 13oz), and BOOM. DONE. Changed my life!
Will she let you post a picture here of the afghan? I don’t “do” facebook. Thanks!
I forgot to add – my mailman’s family all knits and he is always very interested in any packages I receive.
Card is in the mail.
Three things: I also vote for printing postage at home if possible. I have a fantastic mailperson who will take everything, and the investment in a postage scale was one of the best ever made. Secondly, NEVER walk into a PO without knitting in your hand. Then, whenever you get to the window, nbd, much lower stress level. I really like the po off of Piedmont Avenue, mostly because they have parking and the automatic postage machine, but if you want the deluxe experience, get everything together and go to the Walnut Creek post office. It’s almost a spa. Finally, maybe what you need is the handy-dandy re-education course entitled: “Procrastination– why wait?” (Full of useful tips on how to cross those things off your mental list, ex. put a bag full of things that must go in front of the door so you can’t get out without either tripping or picking up the bag.) Just saying….
Deacon!!! Yes!!!
Thank you for encouraging your readers to be wacky and personal. I look forward to breaking out some of my nerdiest stationary and writing to you. Mail makes everything better.
I was a winner, but now I can’t remember which address I gave you… Hopefully it was my new address and not the temp one. Now I am fretting.
I will preface this with, I am not associated with this company at all.
Have you looked at Stamps.com? According to the commercial on my NPR podcast, you can set it up online, they will send you a scale and you print out postage, then you leave it with your other mail for your postal worker to pick up. If you have to use a mailbox (like we do) then packages won’t work as well, but if not, it would be an easy way to get things out without having to go to the post office. Try typing in “stuff” to see if their promo is still going too. 🙂
I know what you mean by the way. Hate the post office. I am constantly worried about babies outgrowing things I’ve knit because I just can’t seem to get it together…and I’m talking about blankets here. 🙂
Do you realize that you can go to USPS.com and pay for and print postage, you wrap it and tape the postage thing on it and they will come pick it up??? Oh, my dear, they will, indeed.
And, Deacon, oh, yea!