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Rachael Herron

(R.H. Herron)

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We Are So Cool

December 23, 2008

I went to the optometrist the other day. Lala worries about my not being able to read things on the freeway as well as she can. I know I can see just fine. But to prove her wrong, I went in, and the doc told me I have great vision (apart from my lazy eye, which isn't all THAT lazy). But I do have astigmatism (or as I always hear it, a stigmatism), and I should wear glasses while working so that my eyes are more relaxed while driving.

So I have the best of all worlds: I get to pick cute glasses and wear them when I feel like it. Yay!

But I have earned it: I started wearing glasses when I was six — thick, coke-bottled glasses. Seriously farsighted, I even had to wear bifocals. It sucked. I wore them until I was about fifteen, when my eyes suddenly got better, and I've been good ever since.

Last night, Lala and I got into a competition.

She said, "That's so cool that you get glasses. You'll look hot."

"Hey, I've done glasses. I deserve this. I had the worst glasses when I was a kid."

"No, I had the worst glasses," she said. 

I said, "You don't even understand what I'm saying. Let me tell you about bad glasses. I had the WORST glasses. They were huge, tall ovals with the flat bottoms. Tortoise-shell. With the stems that attached at the bottom of the lenses, and then went UP and over the ear. Polarized. AND THEY WERE BIFOCALS."

Lala just looked at me. She took her time.

"Battlestar Galactica."

Posted by Rachael 21 Comments

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Gracie says

    December 23, 2008 at 11:33 am

    LMAO! “Battlestar Galatica” I love it!!
    I just found out I have to get glasses too…but, I have to wear ’em all the time…blurry vision and all that ๐Ÿ˜‰ Oh, and I have astigmatism too (I hear it the way you do… a stigmatism, lol)
    Merry Christmas to you and Lala and all the pets!!!

    Reply
  2. kelly m says

    December 23, 2008 at 11:33 am

    Trying not to laugh…no really. I’m older than you so I got the joys of cat eye frames the first time around, lol! Near sighted for 40 years!

    Reply
  3. becky says

    December 23, 2008 at 12:18 pm

    It’s funny, cuz I had some very ugly glasses when I was a kid, as well, the whole plastic, tortoise-shell thing, blehh. I’ve thought a lot about how kids these days have it nicer cuz they have tons of cool frames to choose from, not like us, who were kids in the 80’s with several delightful options: Ugly Tortoise-shell #1 or Ugly Toroise-Shell #2. Okay, I’ll stop ranting now. I sound like an old fart with my “kids these days” thing. My glasses were thick and sometimes had prisms on ’em. Ugh.

    Reply
  4. reenie says

    December 23, 2008 at 1:25 pm

    pictures??? c’mon!

    Reply
  5. Alicia says

    December 23, 2008 at 1:25 pm

    Hahaha Love it.

    Reply
  6. Fantasy with Romantic Elements Sara says

    December 24, 2008 at 4:58 am

    I’m in my mid twenties and have hearing aids and glasses. I figure I’m well on my way to becoming a cylon (or at least a borg)… ๐Ÿ˜›

    Reply
  7. Mags says

    December 24, 2008 at 4:58 am

    Oh! Oh! I had the freaky upside-downish, attach at the bottom then go up over the ear glasses. Plus, the lenses were so darn big, I even put a little sticker on the bottom corner of the lenses.
    Oh, how I loves me my laser-induced bionic eyes. But I do miss my super cool ‘grown up’ frames just a tiny bit.

    Reply
  8. Angie says

    December 24, 2008 at 4:58 am

    From someone with a lazy eye, I have never noticed yours. Cool. Oh yeah, pink cat’s eye frames with little black patches across the bottom of the lenses that would be lost regularly on the school bus. ๐Ÿ˜€

    Reply
  9. Ann says

    December 24, 2008 at 4:58 am

    I believe this is the reason why we have the ability to post photos on our blogs.

    Reply
  10. Kira says

    December 24, 2008 at 4:58 am

    I had lasic surgery to fix my astigmatism and after a year or so I went out and bought myself fake glasses to wear when I’m feeling bookish and flirty.

    Reply
  11. jodi says

    December 24, 2008 at 4:58 am

    It IS a little mean of you to give us such a description and then not show us, my dear.

    Reply
  12. grace says

    December 24, 2008 at 4:58 am

    Hey me too. Bifocals at seven and no glasses after the age of 15 or 16. But, oh my, the early 40’s. Vision dropped like a stone when a formerly far-sighted person was suddenly far-sighted due to middle age. Colour code the shampoo and conditioner for the morning it happens!

    Reply
  13. Laura says

    December 24, 2008 at 4:58 am

    Pics or it didn’t happen!

    Reply
  14. lala says

    December 24, 2008 at 4:58 am

    Actually, the “Battlestar Galactica” logo was the only cool thing about those glasses. Other than that, I hated them.
    And I also knew that liking that they said Battlestar Galactica was really REALLY not cool.

    Reply
  15. Teresa Youngblood says

    December 24, 2008 at 4:58 am

    I can sympathize. No, empathize. I had those glasses from 1982-1986. Only mine were pink plastic with a kind of red streak. And they got horribly, visibly, distractingly scratched, but weren’t replaced until I outgrew them. But oddly, I also have astigmatism, lazy eye, and some near/far sighted issues that either cleared up around late middle school or were never really as bad as the docs said… Love ya and your blog, Rachel!

    Reply
  16. cgReno says

    December 26, 2008 at 10:36 pm

    I am with Kira! I LOVE my glasses. I need them for any up close and personal kind of reading, knitting, blah blah…..I have six pair, can never find them, drive friends nuts “U seen my glasses?” and I feel very “fab” in cat eye vintage frames! Send pics R!
    PS: Is L wearing a hand knit holding Digit? Awwwwwwww

    Reply
  17. TracyKM says

    December 26, 2008 at 10:36 pm

    I had some ugly glasses too. Then some more ugly glasses–Sally Jessie Raphael but in pink. Then more ugly glasses. Then I went to an optician my inlaws knew and got great glasses I ended wearing for about 8 years, with a brief break for some cheap glasses. It really is worth it to go to a good shop. It’s just too bad that they REALLY rip you off—they pay pennies for those frames!!!
    My husband also had some thick glasses; couldn’t even get his drivers license till in his 20s because of his poor vision ๐Ÿ™ We worry about our kids, but they didn’t get his condition (nastagmus) but we don’t know about their actual vision yet. Yeah, my kids could be suffering cause they haven’t been to the optometrist….

    Reply
  18. Maddy in NC says

    December 26, 2008 at 10:36 pm

    awww…..Come on. Peekshures please?
    Or as they say on LSG, pictures or it didn’t happen.
    <3

    Reply
  19. Kim K. in PA (kfour on Ravelry) says

    December 26, 2008 at 10:36 pm

    Pictures please! Although it does sound like you had baaaddd glasses.

    Reply
  20. Ginnie says

    January 2, 2009 at 8:51 am

    I, too had the above mentioned tortoise shell glasses from the 70’s. (Before the Elton John influence). But the funniest part?? A couple of years ago, I had the exact same glasses, but they were cool now. Ok, maybe a hair narrower, but so close I laughed my ass off.

    Reply
  21. Ginnie says

    January 2, 2009 at 8:51 am

    I, too had the above mentioned tortoise shell glasses from the 70’s. (Before the Elton John influence). But the funniest part?? A couple of years ago, I had the exact same glasses, but they were cool now. Ok, maybe a hair narrower, but so close I laughed my ass off.

    Reply

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