So. Good god, if it ever gets to the point where it’s remotely serious and I have to tell her about the blog, this’ll have to be erased, so eat this note after you read it, ‘kay?
A Very Nice Time. She’s funny, and she smiles a lot: I think that’s what I like best. She seems quietly content in herself. I tend usually to be attracted the cynical, the depressed, the pessimistic. The occasional psychotic (no, you don’t know her). The opposite of me. She’s rather more like me than those I usually date, and that makes me wonder. Opposites are a pain in the ass, but you gotta admit, they attract. Boy howdy.
It was a very casual night, since she had only had a short nap after her 30 hour shift (and I complain?) and I got off work at seven. Late dinner at the taqueria down the street from my house, and then Pieces of April, which I thought was darling. Patricia Clarkson rocks the house. And Oliver Platt was very good. Katie What’sHerFace was very good, too, but I kept wanting to wipe off some of her eye makeup. She didn’t entirely convince me that she had a tattoo on her neck and black rubber bracelets. She’s so good looking.
Then a night walk back to my house, through my neighborhood, which never fails to make me happy. I actually kick up my heels sometimes. I try to do this surreptitiously, but people occasionally notice. I don’t think she did, though. It was a suave little hop. Yeah.
(Confession that I probably shouldn’t blog, so it’s that much more interesting: Awkward kiss at the car. No, really. So awkward I just started it over. I believe I said something inane like, “All righty.” Then a sweet kiss, but a little…. well, no word works but awkward. In the past, luckily, I’ve been more often confronted with the Oh-Lord-Wow-NOW kind of kiss, and this wasn’t it. I don’t tend to revisit awkward kisses. Call me non-old-fashioned. But this one I’d like to revisit. Maybe inside, with a bottle of wine (pity I don’t cook), instead of next to her car, standing in the road, in the cold. But I did want to kiss her more, so that’s a good sign.)
Men are easier,* I tell you that much.
Recently a friend asked me, upon hearing I had a website, “You have one of those online journals? [Snicker.] I could never do that, I’m too private.”
I responded, like I always do, with how I’m very private too, I just fool people into thinking they know more about me than they do, and that I just let them read only what I choose to reveal. I’m so private you think I’m NOT private!
I realize here and now, it ain’t true. I don’t have a private bone in my body. The only thing that censors me at ALL is the fact that my mom reads this blog. Hiya, little mama. Otherwise, we’d be discussing the fact that my darling friend Tara, who works for Toys in Babeland, thanked me yesterday for taping Keen Eddie episodes for her with this gift. Mom, don’t click. DON’T! Not work safe, either. (But everyone else, you know you want one. “Writer’s block will never be the same.” Heh.)
No knitting content today. But I’m almost done with the first sleeve. Yippee!
* Gross exaggeration, I realize, and could be construed as offensive. I don’t mean it like that at all. But they can sometimes be easier. Think about it. TWO women processing, all the time? Yow.
** Addendum, after several GREAT comments. Men do process. In fact, some men I have known process more than me. Maybe it comes down to what George Sand said, that the differences between the sexes are so tiny that we blow them up out of all proportion. Well, she said it better than that. Obviously. But you know what I mean. Mwah, keeses to all, men AND women. (Now the rumors start….)
Yay! It sounds really nice. I admit I miss dating a little bit…the butterflies and the awkwardness can be so exciting. I’m so glad for you.
And I know what you mean about not being private…but hey…we could just be telling random strangers about our lives instead of blogging..oh wait, we are! it’s on the internet. *sigh*.
I’ll bet some of the bloggers are completely the OPPOSITE of their blog personas! I don’t know if we are not private. Perhaps we are just honest. Yeah, that’s it!
I love that you kick your heels up while walking through your neighborhood. I used to do that in that neighborhood, too! I especially loved the autumn …
I have written many, many private entries and then hit *delete*. My favorite blogs (obviously yours is one) are the ones where the blogger lets the reader into her life. It is hard to do that though. I *want* to be more open, just find it hard…like does anyone care? Bottom line, I admire you for your honesty and for letting us into your life.
Also, I’m headed back to that site you linked. Hmmm…thanks 🙂
Oh, lovely story — thanks, darlin’.
Yes. Guys are easier.
IMHO.
Been lurking, but had to say, great post! Way past the honeymoon-dating phase of the game, but have very fond memories! The kiss in the street….sigh, it’s very sweet! Glad to hear you are willing to revisit it! 😉 Sounds just as you said, “very nice.” I’m a-rootin’ for ya,
Lisa in Oregon
Weird–I write a comment, hit “backspace” and the whole thing goes away. It was something about public persona vs. private life, blah blah might pencakes, and some witty rejoinder about men being easier and wishing for a challenge.
I am way funnier online than I am in person. I am dullsville in person. I should upload my brain into a robot now and be done with it.
Oh, the processing! Straight people can not understand the extent of the processing!
Glad to hear that things went well.
Sending rainbow happy thoughts for a more natural kiss!
Hi. Perfect stranger reading your blog again when i should be working… Think of your blog not as an online journal *snicker*, i mean you aren’t 13. Think of it as a writing tool. I mean you are a writer aren’t you? This is just one of the many ways you practice your craft, right? Like a testing ground for your material.
And I have to agree with you. Men are easier. If i were ever with someone like me, I’d kill both of us!
Ok. I’m going to read your sister’s blog.
I’m much duller in person too. Whenever I make a joke in real life, my boyfriend always seems surprised that I can be funny.
And as you probably expected Rach, I disagree that men are easier. Less processing maybe, but so many times I just don’t understand how the male mind works. If at all.
And to tell you the truth, I’m not sure guys (at least some of ’em) don’t process just as much as we do.
You are just the cutest thing. (I hope you think it’s OK for me to use that term.) So glad it went well, even with the awkward bit. That’s OK, I’m betting, just a blip in the long run that this could have. I’m dying to see Pieces of April. Trivia: Oliver Platt got married here, as his uncle runs a lovely estate with acres of grounds. And, hey, what a swell gift! I recently realized that my car’s fuse that runs the lighter is blown, and I didn’t need to toss out a toy that surely wasn’t broken, nor the cause of the blown fuse . . . (Could I be any more vague? Guess I’m thinking of the little mama too!)
I have always assumed girls would be easier. More in touch with their feelings, more communicative, and all that. Though those characteristics haven’t always helped me to get along perfectly with women friends and close family members, so I don’t know if they would be that big of an asset in a relationship…I just get so tired of trying to guess what men are feeling, since they never seem to know themselves much less be able to verbalize it. (And I’m speaking as someone who has dated comparatively “sensitive” and enlightened males.)
There’s something about saying whether girls or guys are “easier” that seems vaguely un-PC, but I wonder if it really should. It points out a bit of a disconnect, at least, in my case, between the way I think about things politically (in the sense of being feminist, queer-positive, etc.) and the way I think about things in my daily life. I mean, officially I don’t think you should generalize about people in such a way based on gender. But unofficially, I do it every day and it almost always serves me well. It makes me wonder how much I need to apply my political views to my daily assumptions, but also whether those assumptions might be pointing out some realities that don’t fit into my political scheme but that should be confronted. What’s the point of political ideas that don’t work when we compare them to our actual experiences?
Sorry if I’m going off but those are just some questions I started thinking about because of the “men are easier” comment and your disclaimer at the end.
But actually, on the easy-ness question, when I really think about it there are so many reasons that both are harder in some ways and easier in others, so it probably kind of evens out. As long as you don’t pick an unusually difficult member of your gender/s of choice. Maybe it’s good to be in your position of having done both–it seems like you could better appreciate the advantages of girls, if that is where it’s at for you at the moment.
Hi there!
Happy for you re: the date and hoping there are more still to come!
But I really want to ask about your Cromarty.
I did the math to work out the yardage I’d need for mine (out of Jamieson DK) and got what I thought was the right number — then I hear from someone else that she needed 2 more! She was using the same wool as I and I know you are using the Kersti but I’m curious about YOUR yardage calculations.
I am also trying to decide from your pictures if your wool is a bit heathered? I was worrying that my selection, which *is* a bit heathered, would interfere with showing off the beautiful cables. In which case, I’ll have to buy another set of wool for Cromarty ?!? Say it ain’t so!!
I am glad you are liking the Kersti.
Miranda II
I occasionally think back very fondly to dating, even though I’m quite happily married. I remember some awfully awkward things about it, but there was just so much excitement and interest involved with exploring someone new. So I’m glad you’re having fun with it! As for men and processing, I think my husband thinks about things far more than I do, to be honest. I tend to blithely ignore things that he worries about for days. Maybe we’re both a bit odd, though.
And you know, I like to think I’m much funnier in person than on my blog (though that may be wishful thinking) because I haven’t (yet) become truly comfortable with writing about myself the way I tend to be with talking about myself. Not because I’m particularly private (I don’t think I am) but because I’m constantly thinking “Oh, that can’t be interesting to anyone else”. Like I’m doing right now… I think I’ll stop!
I read your entry and i just said “YAYYY!” and went “awww” at the awkard kiss part.
Also – that, ummm, pen…yah, well…I don’t know if it would really help the whole writing process. 🙂 Let me know how it goes. 😉
Maybe it is time to date someone more like yourself (like Doc? 😉 Happy, optimistic… Sounds like you had a good time. First kisses, ack, the tension!! Go girl!
Em is totally lying. She’s hilarious and charming in person.
And oh boy are you going to have to do some heavy duty censoring of the archives before you give her this url.
Thanks for sharing your lovely evening. Sometimes an awkward beginning is a good thing…let’s things build up slowly, naturally, as you get more comfortable with each other. When things click sexually right away, there’s the tendency to jump into bed way faster than is probably good for the relationship. Did anyone already say that? There were too many comments for me to read through.
Anyway, MWAH! Love you, sweetie. (And quite a gift there! Writer’s block indeed! 🙂 )
just like the cromarty I am living vicariously…dating can be so exhilarating. As to the women V men question (and having dated both), men are easier because they are easier to read. They are also a drag because I am tired of explaining why a snowblower is a crappy Xmas present. I was much happier dating women. And thank you so much for the pen tip!
Wow. What a post. So it sounds like it went quite well. She seems very sweet – will there be a third date? I can’t wait to hear – keeping good thoughts for you and the Doc. I agree with annie: Thank you for your honesty and your willingness to share the details of your life (and your knitting).
Uh, Rach? This lady’s a doctor. She’s smart ‘n’ stuff. Do you really think she hasn’t googled you? Just a (terrifying) thought…
Bill has actually TOLD ME I’m funnier on my blog than in real life!!!
Mmmn maybe the awkward thing was more about you finding yourself begining to find Doc’s company more than just ‘good fun’ or ‘interesting’ and a kiss being more than either affection or exploration but a wish for beginnings to continue. Huh in that circumstance I would have missed the woman completely and probably kissed the car! :0) Tentative might not be toe curling snog on the meter of passion but kissing is an art as far as I am concerned and like a good letter or weB log the kiss is many faceted and extremely intoxicating and pleasurable for the word as well as the paragraph or chapter. Tentative probably does mean processing, but I like the word thought better and what more perfect way to want to write the next line turn the next page than thoughtfully. Real passion isn’t about casting thought aside but of processing and choosing…and then moving :0) Smiling lips are a delight but a heart that is smiling too is delicious especially when it reflects your own but that takes time for affection, exploration and continuing to mean more than ‘just’ a thrill. Here’s to the art of kissing may you both award each a Phd – please hold dearly and know this award does not diminish in importance over time.
Hm, sounds like you might just want to be friends with her, or you want to get some. Either way, hope the next “time” is lovely, and not at all akward! And stop all the straight talk would you? So much easier to be with men, huh? Then why are you writing your ex boy so long after the fact? Maybe you are bi,tri or die trying? Either way, hope you find what you are looking for. -Nina
I can understand the whole boys and girls thing. For me, it’s just finding people that I can get along with. I’ve found one woman in my life who was *it* and was promptly chased off by her pops with a shotgun, (no, I’m not kidding) Everyone is complex, it’s just finding your kind of complex 🙂
I gotta get me one of those pens! Work would be SO much more interesting (they all think I’m a little *ahem* different anyways)! Great story, I hope things work out for the both of you!
I think everyone’s summed up the issue rather nicely and without resolution!
So I’ll say I love the pen. I so don’t need one though because that would present one hell of a distraction for a girl who writes at home! 😉
As a long-time happily married woman, I do love to read about the perils of new romance–thanks for being not-private.