Once I was at a HarperCollins party at the Central Park Boathouse in New York. I felt like a naive, squawking goose because I was surrounded by successful authors who didn't seem to think this was a big deal.
To me it was a VERY big deal. I told one of the editors that–that I couldn't believe where I was–and she was glad to hear it. She didn't think my funny overeager faces were silly. She got excited, too, when I told her how I felt.
I think it's important to remember these kinds of things. In anything, when you achieve a goal, let yourself bask. Bask in the glow of pride and the knowledge that you freaking DID it. Remember when your mom would point out something that you just did that was pretty cool, and she'd say, "Aren't you proud of yourself?" (I hope your mother did that. If not, I'll say it to you. You should be so proud of yourself, friend, for doing that awesome thing, even if was just a small step. Good on you.)
Yesterday I had one of those days. I worked a 72 hour shift (that wasn't part of it though it wasn't bad), got home and napped till 1pm (that was part of it. Nothing like sleeping till 1pm, even if you didn't go to bed till 9am. It always feels decadent). Then I got up and went to Mills and wrote a couple of thousand words for NaNoWriMo (I'm still ahead! Loving that!).
Then, get this: I spoke to a writing class at Mills on being a working writer.
That has been a dream of mine. That's been a dream for a long, long time. I've taught a lot of places, literally all over the country, and most recently, down under. But when I was at Mills as a grad student, years and years ago, I would walk across the quad, lost in imagining myself in the future, wearing stylish boots, my published books in one hand, a coffee in another, going to talk to students about writing.
Yesterday afternoon my boots were Dansko and not that stylish, but I was wearing a sweater I'd bound off that very morning, the books in my bag were mine, and I was clutching that coffee like it was the only way I'd keep breathing.
The students were amazing, and asked awesome questions. They want to be writers like I used to want to be (and now am! Pinch me again!). I want each and every one of them to end up playing the starring role in their own dream. I want that for YOU, too. Keep taking those steps, okay? Those little actions, that tiny risk you take today gets you that much closer.
Me, after class, a little verklempt.
Afterward, as night fell, I put the top down on the bridge on the drive to San Francisco and tried to soak up and enjoy every minute of it. The air smelled of the rain that had fallen earlier that day, and I realized that both of the towns I love best (Oakland and Venice) smell best when cool and damp. The smell of dirt and diesel and salt water. Magic of the very best kind.
I love the new Bay Bridge.
Then Lala and I had date night. We had dinner on the sidewalk at the Grove, and then went to see Jill Lepore talk about her Wonder Woman book. It was a freaking perfect day.
And it didn't hurt that for all that I was wearing a new sweater. This sweater was supposed to have sleeves, yes, but as I was knitting it, I realized how thick it was. I would for sure never wear it, EVER. I wondered how it would look as a vest.
Pattern: DROPS Chocolate Passion, in Quince and Co Osprey. Ravelry details here.
It's an interesting construction, and will look/fit better after a bit of a block, but you know me. I'm impatient.
And I just realized this: Finishing this means I can start a new sweater with the handspun I've been spinning from the New Zealand wool! Eeep! Today, my reward for doing my NaNoWriMo words will be picking a pattern and swatching.
I feel so deeply happy and grateful to be exactly where I am. Right now. I wish for you the same.
* I keep forgetting to draw winners! The winner of Chris Baty's book is Jeanne B. and the winner of Larissa Brown's Shieldmaiden Knits is Linda McD — you've both been emailed.
Judy H. says
Congratulations for teaching at your alma mater! That’s such an incredible milestone! Way to go!
I want to thank you for pointing me at the Rebels forum on NaNoWriMo’s site. I’m aiming at writing every day, not at getting 50K words, and so far I’m on track. I also have 12K words I wouldn’t have written without NaNo. Most of it’s just rubbish that isn’t even intended to be looked at ever again, and it’s all just exercises of various types, but some of it is actually FICTION! It may be the basis for something bigger or it may not, but it’s FICTION! I haven’t done that in so long. It feels wonderful to be writing again. Thank you.
Sassy says
Yay! I love hearing about all your adventures and achievements. And you are so right — we need to recognize, enjoy and savor the good stuff!
Joan in Reno says
The sweater is beautiful and interesting. I’m glad you are right where you want to be. What could be better than that?
danielle says
Love your sweater-now-a-vest!!!!! But…..a 72 hour shift???????O……M……G……!!!!!
Stardancer says
Hey Rachael, I’m somewhere I didn’t expect to be–Bouchercon World Mystery Convention in Long Beach! I’m here to celebrate with a family friend who’s winning an award, but I didn’t realize how many AUTHORS and BOOKS there would be! (I did look for your name in the program, just in case.)
You know what the funny thing is? I’ve met a number of people who are successful published authors, and they all still seem sort of in awe of other authors. I’ve heard more than one say they want to be like [insert famous author here] when they grow up (this from writers who have published 5 – 20 books and are in their 60s)!
So maybe it’s not something you get over. Maybe it just stays That Cool forever. I hope so ๐ Congratulations!!
Diane Lewis says
You are so cute!! I love that “selfie” of you at Mills….just perfect. I like your encouraging words for all of us, too. You are always so good at that. Congratulations Rachael!
Linda McDonald says
What a perfect day. Those students at Mills were lucky to get to hear you speak about writing. And the sweater vest is totally cute!