You know what? Google searches are good stuff. I found out
yesterday that an ex of mine is married. I can’t even tell you how much I love
that.
I remember, god, it’s like nine years ago now, when we broke
up, he told me that he’d never be happy, and someday I’d realize that I’d made
the biggest mistake of my life (he was also the one that thought the attraction to women was a cute and temporary thing. Tell my wife that, huh?). I remember telling him that someday he would be
happy again, promising him he would be happy. He swore he never would.
He’s was the opposite of me in many ways, although I loved
him. He lived his life trying to stay off the radar, off the net, using cash
instead of ATM cards, refusing to give his info to anyone, anywhere, anytime,
storing gold in his house, since it was the only currency that would last when
The Man came for all of us. Annoying, really. So it’s been hard to follow him
online, on the google searches. He’s really the only one I’ve stalked, checking
his unusual name once or twice a year.
Because, you know, I wanted to know he was happy. Even the
day after we broke up, I only wanted that. I’ve been DYING to know he was
happy, first of all because that’s good for all human beings, second of all
because DUDE, I told you so! No one can be miserable forever! Not even if you
really, really want to be.
He married a soil scientist, last year, according to my
expert sleuthing. And you know what? You get married because you’re happy. And
then, with luck and expensive cheese, you’re happy being married. On your wedding day, you’re happy.
Woot! I was right!
That makes ME happy.
Also: this struck me as funny today. Lala sent me an email
that said,
I have noticed that since you’ve been doing nanowrimo your
emails have
gotten more… writerly. Not in a pretentious way – it’s barely
noticeable. Just a little more of the sort of thing I might say "hey, you
should put that in the book!"
On the other hand, your ability to structure spoken english has gone
downhill. So it’s a trade-off.
It’s true. I can’t speak at all lately. But I have been
finding that it’s just easier to write. This NaNoWriMo thing is awesome. Went
out to an
food with a big room full of other writers. At my table, the age range went
from 7, to 16 (he’s almost done), all the way up to about 60. It was just heaps
of fun talking about the writing, about how, really, it’s not THAT much
writing. It’s translated to about an hour and a half or less of writing a day.
On the 15 hour work-days, that’s been hard. But on my days off, it just gets
done. Makes me think I should do it all the time. NaNoWriYe, anyone?
Also: A big shout-out (boy, does that sound dated and silly) to my girl Jodi, who has a brand new blog to go with her fabulous NaNoNess. Jodi was the officiant at our California wedding. And listen, in order to do that, she got a minister’s license. Think about it. Did she NEED one? No, we weren’t doing anything legal, nothing that required a minister, because we don’t have all the rights that others do. But she still got the license. Made us feel all real and wonderful and stuff. She’s truly the best, and I love her. Go say hello to her and encourage her in the word count.
Luck and expensive cheese are often what gets us through a day, dude.
Oh, and you have to hug. A lot. 🙂
The past never quite leaves us, does it? And having said that, I’m not sure it should, otherwise, what kind of Memento-like freaks would we be, reconstructing our histories out of notes and lies and confusion and interpretation.
Oh, wait….
I’m so happy your electronic prowling has unearthed this little bit of happiness.
what is totally sad is I want to do your NaNoWriYe and I can’t write worth shit (as you can tell from my notes here LOL) Heck I have trouble getting my thought to follow some type of progression usually.
On another note I wish you could have heard the sputtery giggle sound that came out of me when I read the phrase “he was also the one that thought the attraction to women was a cute and temporary thing.”
And I know people who live like he does too – well minus the gold part – hehehe
I am glad to see you’re doing the social stuff even without me. I just really didn’t have the gumption this year, despite doing it from 2002-2005.
Was Erin at the halfway partay? She rules.
I would love to know some of your sleuthing on google tips..I never seem to get anywhere and want to check in on a couple of people’s happiness too.
Congrat’s on sticking with the writing!
Maxly
Yay for Google-sleuthing! I’ve had some fun aha moments with it, too, but there’s one particular ex with a really common name out there that I can’t find.
Thank goodness your ex had an unusual name so you can find that neat bit of closure!
You are so sweet to be happy your ex is happy….now mine? Will never be happy unless he finally recognizes that he has Issues and needs some serious therapy. When last I heard (recently, as his brother’s wife and I keep in touch), he was still in total denial and blaminh his dissatisfaction with life on everything and everyone but himself.
Did I dodge a bullet? YES.
I find it amusing that the ex is getting married, given your description of him. I mean, actually getting married is some sort of subjugation to The Man – you have to get a *license* to do it, your name gets recorded in a book somewhere. THAT is funny. *nod*
Wow! He sounds like an interesting guy! Gold in the house, really? And I thought I was the only one…
Heh, luck and expensive cheese. Aww yeah.
Funny, you mention tracking an ex, I did that once iwth the guy I was engaged to in college. He too has an unusal last name. I may have to check up on him. And the most important person being happy is always you!!!!
Cool, man, I might check out that NaNoWriYe, cuz I’m enjoying the hell outta NaNoWriMo. It’s so cool, man. Sort of a nice stress-reduction tool to have a nice li’l fantasy world with cool, quirky characters that I can retreat to on a daily basis. Good therapy, man.
gosh, and i thought i was the only one who did that.
i only found one of my exes that’s actually married and happy with three kids. the rest, well…one is in grad school for his phd in neuroscience, another one works for my dad (*eep! talk about uncomfortable!), and the most recent and bittersweet one is still talking to me but only because i email him randomly once in a while. i think he does it to be polite.
i still wonder what would have happened if the ending had been different with each of them – and i’m thankful that we are where we are. we’re broken up for a reason. and though the reasons varied from one to the other, they served a purpose: the expiration of those relationships showed me what love meant to me.
it wasn’t about just the physical, just the mental, just the emotional…i was singular in my attraction to those guys, thinking that by process of elimination, i’d figure out which one was most important on my list of ideals in a partner.
you would think the simplicity of such thinking would set off alarms from the start. no. not quite. i had to learn the hard way, obviously.
i’m happy that they sound happy. or at least, from what i can gauge based on the correspondence / spying i’ve done.
this comment is a lot longer than i intended. take it as a compliment; this was a very thought-provoking post.
Thank you for letting me know that I’m not alone in the expert Google-stalking! It is always nice to know that former loves are happy; it gives me a sense that all worked out as it should have.
Awww, man, you got me good! Here I was, reading along, loving your stalker talk…and then there you are, writing about me! I blushed really, really hard. (Ask the missus..)
You rock, my Knitter. I will have to holla back to your shout out.. me thinks I better blog aboutcha.
And, wow, thanks to all you yarnagogo followers who graciously visited my blog, just because the wonderful Knitter told ya to. Shucks…
I’m glad I’m not the only one googling random people from my past. 🙂