I have many things to say, and I’m not sure that my brain cells will last long enough to get them all down. They’re running on reserve battery, and I know you feel me. Moving has a half-life of about forever. Every time you make that last trip, there’s still one more carload left behind. I helped Lala with her apartment tonight, and I feel badly that I was too tired to make more than one trip, but it just wasn’t safe for me to drive in this weather any more than that. My brain, after firing at high speed for twelve hours without a break (sat on the busy radio board at work today, and oh, my god, they worked me over), really feels like a sponge. I understand spongey brain matter. Squish. I think I can hear it.
And I have a couple of things to say about traffic and tailgaters (don’t I always?).
To the tailgaters of this world:
You are morons. All of you. What you don’t understand is that the more sensible of us drivers will actually increase the space between our cars and the car in front of us if you are on our ass. That way, and I know you’ve never thought of this, when you hit us at high speed because you WON’T BE ABLE TO STOP if you’re right behind us, at least we only get rear end damage because we’ve left enough damn space in front! Doesn’t that piss you off? Know what? We know it pisses you off. And the more you flash your brights at us for leaving space in front of us (still going at the exact same speed as the car in front of us, mind), we revel in your ridiculous fury.
And know what else? You know how you always feel like you just can’t pass, and that the whole world is against you? You know how you feel like the car in front of you and the car next to it JUST WON’T MOVE OVER, and you can’t get around, and it must be a conspiracy? It might be. We sensible drivers DO pace each other to block morons like you and piss you off more, from time to time. Yep. It’s fun, too. Back off, and we’ll be nice.
This is true in many things.
In other, happier news, the house is coming along. Lala is being a saint in accommodating my anal need for order in common areas, and I just adore her for it.
But. Heh. Ahem.
I have to tell you about this. We were driving down this hill, and saw a guy selling things on the sidewalk. You know us, we lurve sidewalk things, so we stopped. A nice guy named Fred was selling interesting antiques, and giving good prices to the locals. I found the strangest little silent butler, seen here:
It’s an ashtray. Three bucks. Yep. Your servant would hold this out to you to collect your ash, and it has a spinning wheel on it. Coolest thing ever, only why?
Then, we saw it. It was one of those "look at THAT" moments. I realized, in a matter of moments, that we were saying that phrase VERY differently.
Lala, reverentially, "Look at THAT…." Almost whispered.
Me, loudly and crudely, "Look at THAT!!!" Holy crap! WTF!?
She had to have it. I thought it would look quite fine in her room. But her room has no room, so it ended up here:
Wouldja look at that.
Somehow, I grew fond of it within the first two hours. It’s like if Lala owned the ugliest dog in the world (which she doesn’t, her dogs are gerjess). I would love it, because she loved it. But wow. (Aside: That dog? Sam? I love that dog. Somehow, I’m obssessed with him. I know he’s no longer with us, and that’s sad. He’s frikken cool.)
Also, we got the side table it’s resting on and the coffee table seen below for $20.
Camellias ours. From the front yard. Dude. We have lemons in the back. It’s good.
Here I thought I was just slowing down in ront of tailgaters to piss them off and make them leave, which always works and is satisfying to my inner 6-year-old. Now I suddenly feel all smart. 😉
Wicked score on the tables! And that lamp is awesome. (…in a perverted kind of way.)
xox
congrats on the new home! i think that little spindle ashtray is just the cutest.
that lamp is ugly but in a good way. ha!
i do that to tailgaters too. fuckers.
I hate tailgaters and I don’t maintain speed, I slow down. I’m a bitch like that.
Lemons and camellias? Jealous, jealous, jealous.
Tailgaters SUCK.
Hey–I have just the ceiling lamp fixture to complement your table lamp! You know the one. Come and get it any time–we finally took it down.
I love that coffee table. I to try to stop at yard sales. I picked up an antique cradle for $60 at one. The last one I saw in that style at an antique store was over $400 and in worse shape. And it looks like the cats like the lamp.
And tailgaters are just plain old morons. They faall into the same class as people who drive in the rain without headlights. Of course these are the same people who drive at night with out headlights also.
oh, my favorite, is when the people behind us sensible drivers get all pissed off and jerk over in the the next lane… and then… we end up, side-by-side at the next red light. smile and wave.
wish we had yard sales like that around here!
You two totally scored and I’m so jealous. I can never find really cool, quirky, antique things for anything less than a fortune. So I’m reduced to Ikea and Poverty Barn. But good for you. Your place is looking quite fabulous…lucky girls.
Home. You two are making your own happiness. Very, very cool.
Your house is coming along swimmingly! What a sassy lamp! And what a great deal on the coffee table!
Lemon trees are good luck. Always a good sign.
Hmmm. That lamp is like Lombard Street, seen through an LSD haze.
And I love yard sales. There aren’t nearly enough in my neck of the woods.
I guess the only thing worse than a tailgater is a tailgator in this rainy weather! Very aggravating.
Congratulations again on your new home, it all looks beautiful. I love how you’ve decorated it.
It was very nice meeting you and Lala in person at Stitches West! I’m here to report that they are both as cute as a bug’s ear in person and very gracious when confronted by strangers exclaiming “hey! you’re Miss A-Go-Go and Lala!”
We have a couple roosters (made with real feather of course) my husband insists on displaying. I like them now! (though one of them is getting pretty ratty – midnight disappearance maybe?)
House continues to look lovely! Especially the nice, neat common area you’re showing.
Mmm…I love me some kitsch.
Totally agree with you on the tailgaters. Losers, every single one of them. And I totally missed the boat first time through the post — I was looking on the side table for the ashtray/silent butler. Doh!
My daughters’ dream (they are 14, 21, & 23) is to convince my husband to get a red neon sign for the back window that automatically flashes “get off my ass or I’LL SLOW DOWN!!”. The only thing that pisses me off more than tail-gaters are the morons who see the “lane closed ahead” signs, and instead of merging in like everyone else, they speed all the way up past the place where the lane narrows so they can squeeze in ahead of everyone else. In Germany, we used to cheer when we got up to the front of the jam only to see the jerk who drove on the shoulder to pass everyone being ticketed by the polizei. Juvenile, but satisfying.
Your house looks even cuter all put together!
Music . . I got to see Mary Gauthier last night and thought of you and Lala because the sound reminds me of some of the bands you like. 🙂
Sarah, my friend from second grade, taught me to wave at stupid tailgaters. Just wave, “Hi!” Who cares what they think? Much better for your blood pressure than cursing at them.
Its wonderful to see this house so quickly becoming YOUR home! It looks lovely and you totally scored on the yard sale finds!!
Nice rant, dude. How about one for those j*rks who lay on their horn the splitsecond the light turns green? Like you’d never notice? My fave. I want that bumpersticker that says “I have PMS and I’m packing a gun!” (OK, so I’m really a peacenik, just easily irritated.)
Aw, I love seeing your house come together! You’re such inspiration.
Are you sure that’s an ash tray for smoking? I thought they used something like that when they would take coals from the fire to hold under your chair or bed or something like that so help warm up the area and then empty it when the coals were cold. But who am I? The spinning wheel is awesome and so is the lamp and the coffee table and LEMON TREE in the back!? Y’all are so lucky! 🙂
Lemons in the backyard! When I was in high school in Marin (go Tamalpais High!) we had limes in the backyard in big redwood planter boxes. My dad used to love picking a homegrown lime for his gin & tonic. Fresh is good but your own homegrown is the best. Congrats on the house!