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Rachael Herron

(R.H. Herron)

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I Am A Homeowner

October 27, 2004

Can you believe that? Isn’t that the craziest thing y’ever heard? And you all… Now, you know those comments you left made me cry. Really. Wanna come over for a beer? My home is open to you.

Well, okay, in reality it isn’t. That’s only because it’s not even open to ME.

Sigh.

My realtor, Ghet, called me at 9:30am this morning to tell me the magic words. It was done. I was a homeowner. We agreed to meet later to pick up the key from the lockbox on site, and we would go inside. By some miracle, I managed to fall back asleep for a couple more hours, but I had that fitful sleep of extreme anticipation. It was like I was five again and it was Christmas Eve, waking every half-hour to see if it was time to get up yet. Is it time? Now? Isn’t it time yet?

Finally, it’s time to get up. Finally, it’s time to go open my door. MY door.

I arrive. My realtor is already there. She’s furious. Spitting mad, ferociously dangerous. The ex-owner (because, you know, I am the owner now — hey, didja know that?) has not removed the staging furniture inside and has REMOVED the key from the lockbox. On purpose. I have no way to get into my home. And he’s not returning any of the phone calls.

I am pretty damn crushed. Ghet calls the ex-owner’s assistant and screams. Lawsuits are mentioned. Rent-back is guaranteed. She threatens her with everything but brimstone on wheat toast.

But really. Okay. It’s my place. Whoooopeee! I can probably hire a locksmith to open the place and change the locks, and have the movers place the furniture out on the sidewalk on Saturday, when they’re moving in my stuff. It’s a pain. Not a catastrophe. In terms of problems, everyone should have this problem. Like Juliette said in a comment yesterday, “Buying a home in California is tantamount to buying a small Balkan country…and you are like the Queen of that country.” I am QUEEN! A queen without a key, that is.

I’m letting Ghet deal with it right now. I trust her junkyard-dog bark more than my little whine. But keep me out much longer? Grrrrr.

So for now, no photos. Soon. Well, I hope soon. Tomorrow the phone is going on in the new place and that means my DSL might be lost at home until next week. That means no photos since I won’t be able to get them from my computer up to the site. Hopefully I’ll be able to show you at least one photo. Oh, hell. You can see one now from when I walked through the staged furniture a while back. It’s not bad luck anymore. Here’s the living room.

Livingroom

Wahhh! Isn’t that fabulous? Of course, with my furniture, it will be more cluttered. And it’ll have way more yarn.

Oh. Knitting. Right. Ghet loved her scarf and wee ponchos. She wore the scarf draped elegantly while she paced the parking area, yelling into her cell phone. It was rad. She gave me a heavy cut crystal vase for my housewarming present. Crystal! I am not old enough or mature enough for crystal. I think I’ll keep knitting needles in it.

More later! MWAH!

Posted by Rachael Leave a Comment

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Beate says

    October 28, 2004 at 12:19 am

    Congratulations on your new home! All the best from Frankfurt, Germany.

    Reply
  2. Marta says

    October 28, 2004 at 1:03 am

    Rachel, as you said, it is a pain and not a catastrophe – don’t worry, there will be a happy end!! Congratulations! I really can’t wait seeing it all.

    Reply
  3. Daisy-Winifred says

    October 28, 2004 at 2:23 am

    I just had this flash of you and Lala astride, cough THE Desk miraculously now out of rented place transformed into wheeled steed with huge powers of battering ram. Shame doors cost so much what fun to splinter door and desk at the smae time but keys are special things so maybe this ‘happening’ was just means to set you thinking about new locks for YOUR HOME sooner rather than later so only those with your heart in their thoughts may pass through the door of your sanctuary.
    GET SOME SLEEP!!! it is yours, you have time to transform it into home and place your heart at its centre but for now GET SOME SLEEP!!!

    Reply
  4. Jennifer says

    October 28, 2004 at 4:46 am

    HOME SWEET HOME! I’m so happy for you. I have a little housewarming gift to send – please email me offline with a mailing address. Enjoy your home and sit back, relax and enjoy!

    Reply
  5. Christy says

    October 28, 2004 at 4:49 am

    I am so incredibly happy for you and PROUD of you for taking this big step and coming out of it in one piece!
    MWAH!

    Reply
  6. jee says

    October 28, 2004 at 4:53 am

    OK. I’ve been holding my breath over here. Ahhhhh. You see, when we bought this house, EVERTHING that could go wrong with a loan process went very, very wrong. Short list: the assessor went to the house, assessed, and went on vacation…for three weeks…without filing his report. The loan doc place in Orange County send the wrong papers and then couldn’t find copies of our papers. The bank left a page out of their part of the documents. I could go on. Every realtor in the Inland Empire knew about “our case.” I know because I was still doing public speaking at the time and there were a lot of them in one particular audience…they came up afterwards, one by one, and expressed their condolences…
    We’ve been here almost 20 years now, but I still get chills thinking about it.
    Why your ex-owner is being poopy is a mystery…but THE PLACE is YOURS!
    Champagne all around…

    Reply
  7. maeve says

    October 28, 2004 at 5:40 am

    Wooo Hooo! I’m sure everything will work out just fine, and if it doesn’t, you should track down the ex-owner and give him a desk. A nice big one. ๐Ÿ˜‰
    And I think knitting needles are perfect for your crystal vase.
    Your new place looks beautiful – I’m sure you’ll love it! Congrats! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  8. Cathy says

    October 28, 2004 at 6:06 am

    Dear Queen, your castle looks beautiful. Pound as many nails in the walls as you like, it’s yours!

    Reply
  9. Kate says

    October 28, 2004 at 6:25 am

    Oh please post a pic of “the key” when you get it… I will be so happy to see you with key in hand!!

    Reply
  10. Ginny says

    October 28, 2004 at 6:38 am

    Whoo hoo! It’s All Yours now girl! Enjoy moving in, enjoy setting up, and enjoy saying “Wanna come over to MY house?”

    Reply
  11. maggi says

    October 28, 2004 at 6:47 am

    Oh, honey, I am just thrilled for you! Can’t wait to see it ~ on the blog and, one day, in person. Love love love and BIG congratulations, you homeowner you!

    Reply
  12. claudia says

    October 28, 2004 at 6:51 am

    All hail the Queen.

    Reply
  13. Bliss says

    October 28, 2004 at 7:06 am

    Arrghhh! Her kingdom for a key. I’m getting the urge to march again with very pointy needles.
    So,storing knitting needles in crystal is a bad thing? Tries to remember what I would have done with it back in the days I was normal – before knitting took over my world. Whoops. I’m old, can’t remember back that far – hee!

    Reply
  14. Nathania says

    October 28, 2004 at 7:10 am

    Sue ’em. Sue ’em for rent back. Sue ’em for storing the furniture. Sue ’em for pain and suffering and insomnia.
    And then enjoy the hell out of your new home. Love ya, kiddo!

    Reply
  15. Christine says

    October 28, 2004 at 7:21 am

    Congratulations! Can’t wait to see pics of the place full of yarn and kitties and smiling faces!
    And darlin, EVERYONE should have a crystal vase! Of course, this comes from a woman who makes a living selling flowers so my opinion may be a bit skewed. ๐Ÿ™‚
    Long live the Queen!

    Reply
  16. marti says

    October 28, 2004 at 7:23 am

    I’m adding my congratulations to the rest of them. Here is to many wonderful memories to be experienced in your own home. And yup, those crystal vases are perfect for knitting needles!

    Reply
  17. Eilene says

    October 28, 2004 at 7:31 am

    Wishing you only the best in your new home!!!

    Reply
  18. Jackie says

    October 28, 2004 at 7:40 am

    Uh… Is there any OTHER use for a vase?? I actually got some flowers last week and had to take my needles out of my vase and it’s been a disaster ever since. I’m missing the working needle from my size 2 DP’s. The vase is the safest place.
    House looks gawgeous! Those floors. Color me green with envy.

    Reply
  19. Elabeth says

    October 28, 2004 at 7:45 am

    YAY!! I went through the house buying last year around xmas. It’s so nice when you finally get to move in ๐Ÿ™‚
    If I were you I’d just call a locksmith and then put all that furniture on craigslist free for the taking as revenge. muahahahaha!

    Reply
  20. Mariko says

    October 28, 2004 at 8:37 am

    Uh, why is the ex-owner being such a butthead? Well, pooey on him, since you are the new owner! Nyah nyah! And hello, but I would love to see a photo of your scarf-clad realtor screaming into her cell phone. HAPPY MOVING and congrats again, you condo and crystal vase queen, you.

    Reply
  21. Allison says

    October 28, 2004 at 8:42 am

    You give hope for all us single gals limping under the heavy burden of debt, that one day, we too may own our own country. Yeah! Congratulations doesn’t convey how happy I am for you! As for the little glitch, it’s just that, little. You can take care of it and as a reward, I would pick a nice piece of that staging furniture for my own!

    Reply
  22. Meg says

    October 28, 2004 at 8:42 am

    Hoooraaay for Rachel! Congratulations!

    Reply
  23. margene says

    October 28, 2004 at 8:43 am

    Damn that man!! Whazz up with that. Glad you have a junk yard dog on your side. Your attitude is perfect…it will all be fine and by this time next week you’ll be feeling like the Queen of Sheba in her own country!!

    Reply
  24. Em says

    October 28, 2004 at 8:52 am

    I can’t wait to see those walls turn orange.

    Reply
  25. J Strizzy says

    October 28, 2004 at 9:43 am

    I say if they left all that furniture there, they’ve abandoned it and it’s yours to do what you will. I.e. keep what you like and sell the rest — you can use the cash to pay the locksmith…

    Reply
  26. Nancy says

    October 28, 2004 at 9:46 am

    I just wanted to send a huge congrats to the Queen! I can’t wait to hear what you name your country. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  27. mamacate says

    October 28, 2004 at 10:07 am

    I’m with the others who say that you own that furniture now. Some of it is pretty nice. I’d say put what you don’t want out on the street, and keep the rest for yourself. Nice little bonus, there. He can have the desk of doom in exchange for his clean white sofa and oriental rug, sound good? ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Congrats. Let that realtor give ’em heck.

    Reply
  28. SandyB says

    October 28, 2004 at 10:14 am

    Hey chick!
    If you’re not worrying that I’ll come visit, please send me your new address so I can send an itty-bitty housewarming gifty!
    SAndyB

    Reply
  29. melissa says

    October 28, 2004 at 10:42 am

    Its beautiful.
    And, hey, if you’ve gotten this far, what’s a few little bumps in the road? Its YOUR HOUSE! Isn’t that just the most wonderful phrase?

    Reply
  30. alison says

    October 28, 2004 at 11:43 am

    Oh, Rachael. Congratulations! This is just so, so wonderful, and I’m so happy for you. May your new home always be filled with joy and happiness and cashmere! xoxo

    Reply
  31. Lori says

    October 28, 2004 at 11:55 am

    Yay! I am sooo happy for you! May your home always be filled with love, friends, cats, pens and lots of YARN!

    Reply
  32. gaile says

    October 28, 2004 at 12:14 pm

    anyone whose knitting needles turn out the gorgeous things yours do, deserves to keep them in crystal! congratulations again!

    Reply
  33. Anne says

    October 28, 2004 at 12:15 pm

    It’s the BEST feeling, being a homeowner. Wait till you get to deduct your property taxes and closing costs! And one of the best things about being Unmarried Woman homeowner is… it’s one more thing you can do for yourself. You will be AMAZED at the things you will learn to do (basic plumbing, electrical, etc.). Two things: Call a locksmith and get the locks changed no matter what, and don’t sell the staging furniture for a while. You can assume it’s abandoned, but there can be legal yuckiness, so pile it in a corner (or the basement).

    Reply
  34. susan says

    October 28, 2004 at 12:17 pm

    Yay! Go Queen go!
    Is it just me or was this whole process, like, the biggest series of anticlimaxes ever? I for one will not stop feeling a little nervous until you have that danged key in your hand.

    Reply
  35. susan says

    October 28, 2004 at 12:18 pm

    P.S. What is up with this former owner dude? Is he some kind of nuthead?

    Reply
  36. Kat says

    October 28, 2004 at 3:07 pm

    Too funny!! I also had a key misadventure on the first day. Door key worked fine, but the dead bolt would not turn. Had to break in to my own house.

    Reply
  37. LaTejanaFria says

    October 28, 2004 at 3:51 pm

    Bliss is right. Sue the *&^%$! And don’t forget to make him pay for the extra time the movers have to take the stuff out of the house.

    Reply
  38. Amy says

    October 28, 2004 at 4:06 pm

    (exhaling gustily) Woo hoo! I feel like *I* just bought a new place, going through this saga with you! Congratulations, and enjoy your new home ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  39. Kelly says

    October 28, 2004 at 4:49 pm

    Okay, okay…so I know I am a day late and a dollar short with my congrats but I just wanted to say how happy I am for you!!! You so deserve it and I look forward to the party that will be on a weekday in my honor!!! HA HA!!! Love you girly…take care of yourself and don’t do too much, please.

    Reply
  40. M-H says

    October 28, 2004 at 5:08 pm

    I have just taken a pic of my coloured crystal needle collection, going back 25 years or so, in an old grey/white vase. I’ll post it on my blog. I think crystal would work at least as well.

    Reply
  41. Gina says

    October 28, 2004 at 5:35 pm

    Honey, if you are old/mature enough to get a loan and own a home — you most assuredly ready for crystal. Congrats!

    Reply
  42. Silvia says

    October 28, 2004 at 6:24 pm

    You are my HERO! I say if the former owner dude doesn’t shape up you use the full PD power on him–computer and otherwise. Ghet may bark louder, but you’ve got more teeth…
    CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

    Reply
  43. Teresa says

    October 28, 2004 at 7:30 pm

    Congratulations Rachel!
    I’m SO happy for you!

    Reply
  44. OutOutBlogger says

    October 28, 2004 at 8:35 pm

    Congrats, new homeowner! It’s pretty damn cool to have a place to really call your own.

    Reply
  45. amy says

    October 28, 2004 at 10:37 pm

    Not only will YOUR new place have more yarn stashed but it will HAVE MORE COLOR!! Looking forward to seeing how you do YOUR NEW HOME up ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  46. jessica~ says

    October 30, 2004 at 5:29 pm

    All hail the Queen!!!
    Congrats!! Place looks fab… can’t wait for more photos.
    xx

    Reply

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