In the continuing saga of Rachael’s new home, I still ain’t got no key. The ex-owner (referred to hereafter as Adam Henry. Police code, don’tcha know) still hasn’t returned my realtor’s calls. Instead, he is making his cop brother call her. The cop brother (referred to hereafter as Ineffective But Trying) told Ghet that he would do his best to wrap up his “deep undercover” gig and come over with his truck to remove the staging furniture last night. I’ve been at work, so I don’t know if this has been done or not. IBT tried to soothe Ghet’s ruffled feathers. She had none of it. He then asked for my phone number, so he could try to straighten things out with me. She said, “She’s too nice for you to talk to.” She related all of this gleefully to me. She enjoys this kind of fighting. This is a mentality I just do not understand, but I can definitely appreciate it.
I think this was mamacate‘s idea: I should find out where Mr. Henry lives and leave him a present. No, not dog-doo in a bag. No, TPing his house would just be silly.
I think Mr. Henry needs a desk. Like, in his driveway. Whatcha think? A housecooling present. Hmmm.
Irregardless*, come Saturday morning, if I don’t have that key, I’m getting a locksmith in to change the locks and let me in. I’ll then use my movers at Mr. Henry’s expense and dump his shit in the street. Or in the carport, since I don’t want to get sued. But it’s way more fun to think about it in the street.
And then, only then, will I begin to worry about subletting/leasing my old apartment. I have until December 1st to get the vacancy filled, so I’ve got time to finish moving and cleaning, but this is my dream, and I want it to come true sooner, rather than later: I’m sitting in my tiny living room, knitting and watching TV, a cat nearby and a La sitting close. The old apartment is rented, happily and easily. I’m unpacked, and the walls are painted. The house is clean and sweet, and I’m home. Soon, soon, soon. So may it be, as our Greta would say.
DSL is down at home until at least Monday, and I’m off work until Tuesday, so I will be completely offline for a while. Pictures then? Hopefully? In the meantime, I’ll show you the poncho my girl Kalea received (running mate Marama’s daughter). I made it to match the realtor’s girls’ ponchos, also in the Cashmerino. She was so tickled that she wanted to pose, and she told her mom she couldn’t wear it to school because she played tag a lot, “and it might get snagged.” When she brushed her teeth wearing it, she asked her mother to wrap a towel around her first.
And of course, the Iris:
Isn’t she a fabulous poncho diva?
Have a great weekend, all. Keeses!
*I just wanted to watch the Grammar Avengers squirm. Heh.
Beate says
The desk in the driveway hee hee hee excellent idea!
Have a good “moving” weekend!
Em says
Oh, what a precious. That there is a future knitter, knowing as she does to protect the cashmerino.
Love the furniture idea. Perfect.
Hurry back online!
Iris says
Yeah, send a cop to try and scare someone who works with cops. Ha. What a jackalope.
Desk in the driveway… perfect.
Kalea? What a cutie in that poncho. And she’s doing the Iris!!!!!
maggi says
I knew you were just baiting us GAs ~ but sometime when you’re east, G & I will take you to a Chapel Hill eatery with that very name!
Steph says
I further support the desk in the driveway idea. You could even fill it with other stuff you want to get rid of, like cat litter.
Excellent poncho and what a cute recipient. I love knitting for appreciative kids–they’re so enthusiastic.
Ann says
Rachael, you know that good things come to those who wait. Unless you’re a jerk who is waiting for no good reason to move out of the house he doesn’t own. In which case you totally deserve a desk. I love that idea!
What an a**hat. I hope he gets everything that’s coming to him, including your big ol’ desk!
Nathania says
Grrrrrrrrrrr…. Good thing I don’t know where Mr. Henry lives. Ruthless in protecting my own, I am. Since I can’t do anything about it, I’ll just focus on the cozy picture you paint of your new home. Mwah!
Eilene says
That poncho is one of the cutest ones I’ve seen. Love the edging! And what a model she is!
Norma says
OMG, that poncho and that girl-cuteness is to die for!!! I’ve been wanting to do a little phoncho for my neighbor girl who is about the same age, and just haven’t gotten around to it. Maybe this is why — because I had to see THIS one to know! Would you mind sharing the details? It looks like The Harlot Poncho, made smaller. I just don’t know HOW MUCH smaller to make it.
alison says
Irregardless of Adam Henry being a jackalope, you still BOUGHT A HOUSE! (Homo-ner — heh heh.)
margene says
Yes….a HOME! Your own home. I’d get the locksmith on Friday night and then you can move Saturday without missing a beat.
The poncho is darling. At least you’re knitting and that helps to work through anxiety.
Vicki says
You’re a spunky HOMO-ner, aren’t ya? Dumping staging furniture and desks all over the place, hiring locksmiths, making Grammer Avengers squirm… Go, girl!
OMG, I just love it that Kalea doesn’t want her poncho snagged…
froggy says
the poncho looks great great and she is just too cute!
Mariko says
CUTE poncho! I don’t get what Mr. Henry’s deal is. What’s his problem? And don’t you know a lot of cops? Let’s go dump that desk on his head!! You are being very calm and grown up about the whole situation. Soon that whole dream will come true.
max says
LOVE the desk idea!
MaryB says
“HOMO-ner” made me squirt my morning tea all over my monitor. That’s too funny.
Your poncho idea is too perfect! I have a dear friend whose two favorite people in the universe are his two nieces, ages 1 and 4, and when I saw the ponchos for your realtor’s girls I realized what the perfect Christmas gift will be for him: Ponchos for “his” girls!
So I snagged his sister-in-law’s phone number and we’re plotting behind his back, which is making it so much more fun.
And now two little girls in Portland are going to get ponchos made in Richmond from a pattern by a woman in Toronto because of an idea by a woman in Oakland.
(And people worry that the Internet *isolates* people?!?!?)
Can’t wait for pictures of the new digs, you HOMOner, you!
Nancy says
Count me in as another vote for leaving the desk in the arsehole’s driveway!! ๐
By the way, judging by what a psycho this guy is, you might want to change the locks even if you do get the key from him. Just to be safe, ya know?
Tish says
Maybe in the driveway desk drop, you could include a little note thanking Mr Henry for his housewarming gift of furniture that he so generously left already in place. If you can’t (or don’t want to) actually use any of it, I’m sure the Salvation Army guys would love to visit you again and haul it off to charity. (yin {vengeful act}:yang {charitable act}- see, it all balances) Then I would definitely get new deadbolt locks. And maybe dig up George and bring him along to act as Official Watchplant.
Sharlene says
Make your agent go for the rent back bay-bee!
Carrie says
What a freakin’ ADORABLE picture. no, it’s too cute. tiny ponchos are the cutest things EVER….
So December 1st, eh? hmmm…..
melissa says
If I lived closer than half-a-continent away I’d be there helping you drop that desk in AH’s driveway. Call the locksmith…
If you do end up storng the furniture – send the dude a storage bill.
The Mysterious K says
I say charge the sucker rent from the day you closed. Bring on the locksmith. And, hey, finder’s keepers on the furniture. Possession is 9/10s of the law.
When Ryan told me about this last night, I got really mad on your behalf. He’s messing with your joy.
But, really, congrats on buying your first place. There’s nothing like it! And you’ll get to know where everything is at Home Depot really fast!
TMK
jody says
LOVE the desk in the driveway idea! hang in there – you’ll have your place tomorrow morning irregardless ๐
Ann says
Oh, shit, TMK on Home Depot. Gah. Don’t even GET me started on Home Despot. Proudest damn moment was getting THEM to pay ME $1500.
I was going to ask you about the Adam Henry (I’ve only caught a little 10-code from Security “Is there anything in the oven?” Guy), but I just googled it, so nevah mind.
Oh, chickadee, you’re moving tomorrow. Whee!
amy says
Why is the former owner being such a jerk-head ?!?! I mean really.. Did he lose the apartment for financial reasons and taking it out on you? Don’t get it.. JERK!
gwen aka tllgrrl says
The desk thing is a great idea! By all means charge him for the movers.
He’s Got To Go.
And the little poncho diva is too too precious!
As RuPaul would say: “Work it, girl!”
Becky says
“Deep Undercover Gig”? Schnort. Just hand over the freakin’ key, copper.
Kalea in her poncho is SO SWEET!
Sharon says
Congrats on being a homeowner! Very exciting. And very weird ex-owner? What’s up with that? Be sure to post a photo of all the furniture on the street, please. Will you be adopting a mini-George for the new abode?
Carol says
Referncing what was said above, I’m surprised your contract doesn’t include the clause that says “get out or pay money.” You can legally charge him rent, you know, as a penalty for not getting his butt out of YOUR house.
And I totally get the joy that Ghet gets out of the fight because I had my own small moment when I read it. There is joy in snapping at people to make them do what they’re supposed to be diong in the first place.
Tiffany says
MWha-ha-ha, you have me laughing about Mr. Henry’s desk in his driveway. You are a riot, too funny, you made my day!
Monica says
yes, I squirmed.
But, I said “symbology” in my blog a few days ago. hehehe!
yvette says
Ooo..that Adam Henry is earning himself some bad karma. So what he’s got a cop brother. You know at least 30 cops, right? So have them ALL go talk to Mr. Henry and his brother.
Then get every damn penny you can out of that jerk.
But that kid, in that poncho? Cute, cute, cute.
Jon says
Re “Irregardles,” please, Miss Rachael, no Bush-isms in blogland!!! Anyhow, I think you should have the movers move AH’s crap to your old house and then simply send him a bill for rent, too.
Gina says
If anyone says anything about the desk in the driveway, it could just have been a Halloween prank from some silly kids…
Anne-Caroline says
Superb-o Poncho! I love it!