It’s Alison’s birthday! Yowza! You go with your brainy-lady excellent just gettin’ better every rawkin-gawking year self! We love you. (I’m in the middle of 31, by the way, and it’s awesome – a good year.)
I’ve been doing a bunch of knitting and should be done with something fun this week, but can’t show it, ‘cause it’s a secret. Oh! Maybe I’ll send a completed photo to one of y’all so you can host it, hey? Wow, that’s just me living for the compliments. That’s kinda lame. But true. I hate working on it knowing no one knows what I’m doing…. The flip side of blog-land….
Wendy (winner of the KniTattoo contest) was talking today about the other evil side of blog-land: Spam. And I have to say, the only good thing I’ve found about spam is this: Their names, when they hit your email, are great. I write them down and save them to use in my fiction somewhere down the line. They look like names, but are totally unexpected – Norris Herplunk. Myra Mantle. All right, both of those have Harry Potter echoes, too. Cool.
I love collecting names, the really out-there, crazy ones. My friend has two students with the names HerMajesty and HisRoyalHighness. At work we see a lot of good ones, including two brothers named Lemonjello and Orangejello. (The emphasis on these names is on the second syllable. When said, they don’t sound like the food at all.) I won’t tell you where I heard this name, but I can swear on Digit’s wee nose that this is a true name, one she deals with on a daily basis and married into. Are you ready?
Fonda Cox.
Can you IMAGINE? Introducing herself at a party. “Hi, I’m Fonda Cox.”
Kills me. Just slays me. Truly Boring (also verifiable and married into) used to be my favorite, but nothing beats a woman Fonda Cox.
Oh, now I’m REALLY in for some spam.
Fonda Cox?? Oh that poor woman!!!
That is HYSTERICAL! and reminds me that I have a urologist friend named Dr. Weiner. . .
We don’t have so many vanity plates over here, and I love looking at license plates. They often give me ideas for names for that science fiction book I’m gonna wow ’em with one day (yeah, right).
do i know what you’re knitting, wink wink?
a SECRET?
I can’t stand it!
Better bake some bread
so you can make SPAM
sandwiches….
I thought I was the
only *one* who kept
a hysterical names file folder.
So glad you are making a return to LONGHAND morning pages…it just gets better and better, everytime I go back….sigh now I use good paper and fabulous pens 🙂
I was going to tell you a really nice name of someone I know here, but then I saw Fonda Cox and Dr. Weiner and I lost all composure. What if Fonda Cox married Dr. Weiner? It’s still urology no matter how you slice it. Ow.
Okay, where did you hear the names orangejello and lemonjello? I heard about 2 brothers with those names when I was in college, from a friend. Can these be the same brothers? Or is this an urban legend? I did hear about this in California…
Thanks, Rachael!!! I’ll try my best to keep rawkin’ and gawkin’, just for YOU! Those names are SO good, but Fonda Cox? Good god! I can’t think of anything THAT good, but I did hear about a guy who changed his name to Matthew Danger Fantastic — so he can honestly say “Danger is my middle name.” And a friend told me about friends of hers who thought it would be groovy to let their son choose his own name, and when he was two or three he chose Motorcycle. So that was that.
I like collecting names too…I went to high school with a girl named Sue Fuchs (Pronounced “FOOKS”) and then there was the kid whose last name was Knipple, but the best one was this older man I had once as a patient (I’m quite sure he is dead now and wouldn’t care if I shared his name)-Spurgeon Blizzard.
Gotta love it!
I went to Sunday school with a Paige Turner and there was a Windy Forest in my third grade class. There’s a student in the department where I work whose first name is Princess, and a guy whose last name is Kitten. I keep thinking how cool it would be if they got married and her name was Princess Kitten.
Have you ever heard this method for creating what your name would be as a porn star? Your first name would be the first pet you ever had and your last name the first street you lived on.
Usng that formula, I would be:
Frisky Charlotte
Wendy, When I lived in Montreal I heard that the way to come up with your pen name to be a romance-novel writer was to take your middle name and the name of your street. My middle name is Alison anyway, and my street was boring, but a female friend of mine would have been the oh-so-steamily named Muhammed Henri-Julien! Hot hot hot! (Hard to beat Frisky Charlotte, though — except maybe dear old Fonda Cox…)
There’s a guy in my mom’s town who is actually named Neal Downe. I wish Fonda Cox wasn’t already in a relationship…
I know this is WAAY late to post, but that’s what happens when you have blog archives: comments to posts you’ve probably forgotten you made!
Years ago, I knew someone who had an American colleague come over to Australia whose name was Randy Wanker, and loved our interpretation of both words. (fyi, randy = horny, wanker = self-pleasurer [also, ditz, dag, idiot, etc. You get the drift])
oh, and the ultimate for someone who went to an all-boys’ school:
Richard Pulling (I’m sure, nicknamed “Dick”).
This is actually my brother-in-law’s name (what were his parents thinking?!!!) No wonder he goes by his middle name!