Ep. 261: Dr. Saumya Dave on 200 Rejections Before Success

Dr. Saumya Dave is a writer, resident psychiatrist, and co-founder of thisisforHER. Her writing has been featured in The New York Times, Huffington Post, Refinery29, and others.What a Happy Family is her most recent novel.

Transcript:

[00:00:00] Rachael Herron: Welcome to “How do you Write?” I’m your host, Rachael Herron. On this podcast, I talk to authors about how they write, what their process is and how their lives fit together. I’ll keep each episode short so you can get back to writing.

[00:00:16] Well, Hello writers! Welcome to episode #261 of “How do you Write?” I’m Rachael Herron. And I’m so pleased that you were here today, we are talking to Saumya Dave and we’re talking about her overnight success, which took 10 years to occur her 10-year path to publication. And she was at the light. You are going to love the episode. I know that’s predictable when I say that but luckily, I only put people on the show who I like. So, if I ever did have a disastrous interview, you wouldn’t hear it, so it’s pretty, so yes, I do say those words over and over again, and I am always delighted to know that it’s going to be a good interview and you’re gonna enjoy it. That’s fun. 

[00:01:02] What’s, where am I? Where’s Rachael today? I am not using the good mic, so I apologize if the sound quality is not as good as you’re used to. I am on the 31st floor of the preliminary tower in Wellington, New Zealand. And I have to my right over here, an incredible view of Wellington. We are so happy to be here. We checked in on Sunday. Today is, I don’t know Thursday. So we’ve been here for here for a few days. And again, Wellington is just the town that we love. It just embraces us. We are both city girls and we love the energy here. It’s a beautiful and honestly, very small town. It’s a big city with a very small town feel kind of like if San Francisco was one eighth the size, and I’m just making that up. It must be much, much smaller than that. I’m not sure what the numbers are, but it kind of has that feeling and it just feels good. We got to tour on Tuesday night, the house that we are really hoping to be able to rent. We are meeting with the landlord, not until the 11th. So another three weeks or so. And at that point, I will be able to tell you whether or not we have it. But it is an amazing place.

[00:02:24] It’s kind of rickety and ramshackle and three bedrooms and up on the hill with an incredible view. And it would be perfect for us. It would just be perfect. I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned this on the show, but the people who are living the house, it’s a Kiwi and his American wife and they are moving to the states and they have to get rid of their all of their possessions in order to do it. Just like we just did. We have no possessions. We could actually buy their possessions and just move our suitcases in. And then we would be home. We’d have furniture and kitchen appliances that are the right voltage. There’s a KitchenAid and a carpet cleaner and a washer and a dryer and a bed and a really comfortable couch all in place. A beautiful yard, beautiful view from the yard, space for a garden. I mean, seriously, I think both Lala and I are scared to hope very hard sometimes for something to really, really want something. Neither of us really believed that we’d even get on the plane to New Zealand. We were always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

[00:03:32] So if the other shoe drops and we don’t get the house, it’ll be okay. And it’ll be for a reason. And that’ll be fine, but both of us are very hopeful that we get it. We do have some things on a ship coming to us not very much stuff, but stuff like, you know, boxes of books, boxes of journals, Lala’s art supplies, instruments, some kitchen stuff that aren’t electric and that we have just found out it’s coming in this weekend. We have no place to put it. Going to have to find a storage unit. I really thought, we thought, they thought that it would take another month or two, especially with all the shipping delays right now. No, no, right here. It’s right here right now. So we’re going to be dealing with that in the next week or so. And, in the meantime I got a wicked, wicked migraine on Tuesday, I guess it was, had to cancel everything that day. And I always feel crappy when that happens, but it had been looming for a while. So hopefully, usually when I get a migraine, it kind of clears everything out and I don’t get another one for four to six weeks.

[00:04:37] So fingers crossed on that front, but that was pretty miserable. And now I’m up, my brain is almost it. Fighting fit again, almost at full capacity. So I have been working, I am almost done with audio book edits for Life and Stitches since I decided to focus on just that until it is done and I should finish that this week and be able to get it off my plate and I’m getting further a little bit further engineered because I personally have had problems in the past taking audacity products, projects, and putting them in the exact right parameters that ACX, which is the audible platform through Amazon will accept. You know, you have to have your noise gates at a certain level and your floors at a certain. And in the past, I’ve just paid somebody to do that last little finishing up. So I’ll do that and then it’ll get uploaded and then it’ll take a long time to become available. But that’s almost here. So that’s exciting. That’s the work I’ve been doing. And we move again on Sunday to a new place about an hour north of Wellington for about a week and a half.

[00:05:47] So that should be fun. Being in a new place next week. Yeah. Yeah. We’re getting a little tired of moving every week. It was pretty awesome to be locked down. I do not want to be locked down again at all ever again. But moving every seven days, packing up everything we own and doing it again, it is so cool. And we’re also ready to stay in one spot for a while. So It feels like it’s working perfectly. We have this amazing rental happening in Wellington in about two weeks and we’re going to be able to stay there for three weeks and it’s an old school house. So I am excited to show that to you if you ever watch on the YouTubes and I think that’s everything that is going on around here.

[00:06:33] I would like to thank new patrons, Rachel Walsh. Thank you, Rachel and Dina Mason. Hello, Dina. Thank you so much everyone for your patronage. It is the way that I support doing the show, support the time that goes into it. It’s cheap for you to listen, but it is not free to provide, so you patrons are so, so, so appreciated by me. You can always go to patreon.com/Rachael, and look at that. But now without further ado, let us jump into the interview with Saumya Dave. I know you’re going to enjoy it, and I wish you very happy writing. Be very kind to yourselves, my friends, get a little writing done and be kind to yourself. That’s part of the writer’s job. Okay, let’s go!

[00:07:21] Hey, you’re a writer. Did you know that I send out a free weekly email of writing encouragement? Go sign up for it at www.rachaelherron.com/write  and you’ll also get my Stop Stalling and Write PDF with helpful tips you can use today to get some of your own writing done. Okay, now onto the interview. 

[00:07:47] Rachael Herron: Okay. Well, I could not be more pleased today to welcome to the show Dr. Saumya Dave. Hello there! 

[00:07:46] Dr. Saumya Dave: Hi, so great to be here. 

[00:07:47] Rachael Herron: It’s an honor to have you, I can’t wait to talk to you about your book and about your writing process, which is what we talk about on this show. But let me give you a little bit of an introduction before we go. Saumya Dave is a writer, resident, psychiatrist, and co-founder of thisisforHER. Her writing has been featured in the New York Times. Huffington Post, Refinery29, and others. What a Happy Family is her most recent novel. And by the time this airs, because I’m a little bit backed up with episodes, it will have been out. So, but while we’re talking right now, it’s not out yet. How are you feeling about the release? This is your second novel, right? 

[00:08:21] Dr. Saumya Dave: This is and second novel to release during a pandemic. So it’s been quite a surreal time. I think for everyone, no matter what’s been going on, but then I don’t think it’s fully set in yet.

[00:08:31] Rachael Herron: You’re the first author I’ve talked to, who has had two books released during the pandemic. So you are like, you’re like old hat. You’ve got it dialed. I had a book come out a couple of weeks ago and it was my first book since the pandemic. And I have to say, I love a virtual launch party. 

[00:08:47] Dr. Saumya Dave: That’s a good point.

[00:08:50] Rachael Herron: It was the best. I didn’t have to worry about getting people to the bookstore, making sure the bookstore wasn’t disappointed, you know, so that was awesome. 

[00:08:58] Dr. Saumya Dave: No that’s true. There are a lot of benefits and I think I’ve been able to meet a lot more people, a lot more readers, writers, so many other people because of the virtual events. So I agree with you 

[00:09:06] Rachael Herron: Yes!  Because they get to come and where do you live again?

[00:09:08] Dr. Saumya Dave: I live in Brooklyn, how about you?

[00:09:11] Rachael Herron: I’m in Oakland. So I’m in exactly the same city, just on the other side of the country. So we, and we’re lucky to have amazing bookstores and all of these to support, but it is just also nice to stay at home and wear pajama bottoms if we want to 

[00:09:28] Dr. Saumya Dave: Of course, 

[00:09:29] Rachael Herron: Exactly. I’m actually wearing jeans today for the first time in weeks and it doesn’t feel right. 

[00:09:34] Dr. Saumya Dave: I haven’t gotten there yet, but you’re inspiring me to think about it 

[00:09:37] Rachael Herron: Well I had to buy a new pair to do it. I will admit, yes. Well, let’s talk about writing and your writing process. So when the pandemic started then, where you all writing? Were you already writing book number two then? It must’ve been

[00:09:57] Dr. Saumya Dave: I was. So I was writing book number two. I actually finished my first draft right before I went into labor with my son and then spent the pandemic year promoting book one. And then also writing the other drafts of book two. So it was, again, I think an adventurous year for everyone, but I definitely dealt with a lot of different things. 

[00:10:18] Rachael Herron: Is this your first child?

[00:10:19] Dr. Saumya Dave: It is. 

[00:10:20] Rachael Herron: So you were learning everything, 

[00:10:22] Dr. Saumya Dave: Everything, everything. I felt like a baby. The way you said it is so true. I felt like I was learning constantly. Totally. 

[00:10:29] Rachael Herron: Has it smoothed out a little bit? 

[00:10:31] Dr. Saumya Dave: Yes. I think most things I realized you get better with time because I adapt. And that’s been the same thing, at least for me with parenting. It was not one of those things where I, you know, immediately gave birth and I knew what to do, and it was all intuitive and it just came to me. It was not like that. I was definitely someone who had to learn by doing and by flailing and all of those things. And I think I’m the same actually as a writer too. So that’s, I think there’s the way that I go about things, but I know I meet many people who go through things quite seamlessly, but I’m just not ever going to be one of them.

[00:11:02] Rachael Herron: Oh my god, I love that, but I love real people who don’t go through things seamlessly and can also talk about it. It is so important because there is this mythos around writing that, you know, we sit down and we feel great emotions and we write on the page. But what I would love to ask you about is how, what is your writing look like right now today as a mother of a baby? And like, what, how do you get it done?

[00:11:26] Dr. Saumya Dave: So over the past year, it was all about writing in short verse. So I wrote during his naps, I wrote when, you know, there were lulls between things that I was doing with him. And then now we actually have childcare for the first time, since he was born. So that’s shifted a bit. So I will add that I think for anyone who is writing, I think we have to have support systems, whatever they look like in order to get those things done. For me personally, I do have to sit down every single day and just sit in front of the computer and do it. And if I don’t like what comes out, which I often don’t, that’s okay. I think that’s been also a thing that I’ve learned to overcome that it’s not going to look great. Those first drafts, second, third drafts might not look great either, but it’s okay. But for me, I have to make it a daily practice that I sit down and do write when I wake up. 

[00:12:08] Rachael Herron: Is it easier for you when you do go back in daily or regularly because you’re touching it?

[00:12:13] Dr. Saumya Dave: I think so. I definitely feel, and I don’t know if you feel the same way that it takes me some time to get back into the flow of it once I’ve been away from it. So once that mindset’s kind of been drifted apart from me, I think it takes me time to get back into it. So keeping up with it has definitely worked. I mean, I have friends who can pick it up and leave it, you know, whenever they want. I think that’s awesome. I’m very jealous of them, but I can’t do it. I also, you know, I wrote throughout medical school and residency and now post residency. And it’s just been something that I have to make that time for, because if I don’t, I will, won’t go and watch five shows on Netflix back to back and the day will go away. So I have to make that time and commitment, as if it’s any other commitment. 

[00:12:54] Rachael Herron: Now I feel the exact same way, but I also take weekends off. I like to take Saturday and Sunday off, but I have a hard time on Mondays when I go back to it. So when you were talking daily, do you mean Monday through Friday or are you actually doing it seven days a week?

[00:13:05] Dr. Saumya Dave: Seven days a week.

[00:13:06] Rachael Herron: Oh, I want to be you. I want to be that person.

[00:13:08] Dr. Saumya Dave: That actually started because in medical school I had tests every Friday. I was part of a curriculum where we did exams every Friday, instead of the more traditional is, one exam every six weeks. And that really put me in the mode of making the most of those weekends. Then in residency, I had call shifts where either on the weekdays I’ve worked till 11 or on the weekends, it would be 12 to 14 hour days. So all I’d have is sometimes that other weekend day to do it. So I think I’ve learned to kind of see a blurry line between weekdays and weekends when it comes to writing. But I will say, you know, to add to that, I think it’s so important to rest and to take time away and to take time for ourselves. So as much as I love productivity and I think it’s so important to cultivate, I also think it is really important to take that time for ourselves. So we don’t burn out

[00:13:50] Rachael Herron: So, when do you decide to rest from the work? Is it between drafts or 

[00:13:55] Dr. Saumya Dave: It’ll be between drafts, but I think, you know, I think anyone I know who’s a writer, once they’re a writer, it’s just a part of who they are and the part of, it’s just how they see things and how they take in the world. So I will tell myself, okay, I’m done once the strap is turned into my editor, whatever that milestone may be, but then I’ll watch a show or I’ll read a book. And I’ll be, that could be an interesting essay or maybe that could be an interesting book to write someday. So even if it’s only on the notes function of my phone, I’ll still write down the things that make me feel something that I’ve taken in something, whether it’s an article, an essay, even a conversation with a friend, a TV show, I’ll still be writing somehow. It just might not be as structured or as formal. 

[00:14:33] Rachael Herron: I love it you say that. I use the inbox function on Trello and I must have, I tried to go through it and clean it out every once in a while, but I must have 70 things right now, but occurred to me during a podcast, that you said it really clearly the things that make you feel something that’s what we’re reacting to as writers. That’s really beautiful. What is your biggest challenge when it comes to writing?

[00:14:53] Dr. Saumya Dave: Actually a similar to what we were discussing. It’s making that temperate and not feeling guilt about it. I think putting boundaries around that time has been such a good lesson for me, it’s something I still struggle with all the time, but you know, when I was in medical school, I would think, well, it’s okay. It can be a time that I can either make time for other people or run errands or do all these things that are frankly, just not writing. And I’ve learned that I really have to put barriers around it and it deserves that. It really does deserve that there’s a writing challenge on right now by the author, Jami Attenberg’s 1000 Days of Summer. 

[00:15:25] Rachael Herron: Love that, love that challenge. 

[00:15:27] Dr. Saumya Dave: I love her too. And seeing that email from her every single day, saying today, you will write a thousand words. It helps me create another one of those really great borders in a way of creating that structure. So I’d say that’s something I think I do need some more outside help for that. And it’s a daily practice and definitely taking daily work for mine. 

[00:15:44] Rachael Herron: I just read a, now I can’t remember I read it, but I read it this week. Something about how setting a boundary of never less than, and never more than is a good way of doing it too, 

[00:15:53] Dr. Saumya Dave: Oh I love that

[00:15:54] Rachael Herron: Because I tend to go to the extreme sometimes and you know, like if I’ve got 2000 words, I could get 4,000 words if I just worked a little bit harder today. But that’s not what we need a lot of times. And if anybody’s curious about the Jami challenge, her, if you search Craft Talk, I think it’ll come up. 

[00:16:10] Dr. Saumya Dave: Yes, yes. Her newsletter Craft Talk. And then I think there’s a hashtag on social media, that is 1000 days of summer or 1000 words of summer, maybe. 

[00:16:17] Rachael Herron: Yeah. Perfect. What is your biggest joy when it comes to writing?

[00:16:21] Dr. Saumya Dave: I think it’s been the same since I started as a little kid, it’s been just seeing a sentence that I’ve written, that expresses what I wanted. So it made a thought tangible. It made it real, I think there’s something so powerful. I think that’s always also why so many writers I know, like writing in a journal just for themselves or writing thoughts out on their own spaces, even if they’re not going to be seen by anyone or technically formed something that that’s going to be shared more publicly, because I think there’s just something to taking our thoughts out of our heads and making them something we can see. It almost feels like magic in a way. There’s something real now about it. There’s something palpable and that’s still the joy for me that an idea I had in my head, a character group of characters now actually exist in some way on a page. So I, and I do think it’s important to hold on to that magic. As I’m sure she knows it’s such a solitary process at times, there can be ups and downs. There can be things outside of our control and holding on to that daily magic can really help so much.

[00:17:16] Rachael Herron: Well, you said in this really interesting position of being a psychiatrist as well. What does it mean for us as writers? And I always feel bad for people who are not writers who don’t do this. What does it mean for us as writers that we get to take these ideas out of our head and put them on the page? How does it actually help us like actually? Can you tell us a little bit about that?

[00:17:35] Dr. Saumya Dave: Sure. I think it actually helping so many different ways. So there are some psychiatrists and mental health providers who actually sometimes prescribe free writing or reflective writing as a way to make sense of certain experiences even things like writing a letter to someone, whether it’s actually to themselves, there’s an exercise for accessing your inner child, which is this idea that all of us have an inner child may need some re-parenting. Reminders that they’re safe, but there’s an exercise that involves writing a letter to your younger self and just talking to that version of you and seeing what comes out, in family therapy, sometimes if there are conflicts between family members that are hard to dish out in person, someone might recommend writing a letter or journaling about it. So I think writing helps us process our thoughts, and maybe even make sense of them, and sense of our place in the greater scheme of things. So I’ve seen it actually go in many different directions for people I’ve seen professionally really. And I actually write it on a prescription pad. I write pre-write tonight. 

[00:18:31] Rachael Herron: I love that

[00:18:33] Dr. Saumya Dave: So I’m not, fun psychiatrist, but just things like that. I’m sure people are like, I’m never going to see you again. Why are you doing this? But I think exercises like that are just as important as other things that, that we can do for our mental wellbeing. 

[00:18:48] Rachael Herron: Well, thank God, because it’s basically all I do for my mental wellbeing right now, so much journaling. That’s great. Can you share a craft of any sort with our listeners?

[00:18:58] Dr. Saumya Dave: Sure. So this one actually just came to mind some in the middle of writing book three, taking time away and then returning to it in a slightly different form has been very helpful for me. So last summer there was something and people were making fun of this, but it actually kind of worked where they changed their whole word document to a different font and almost sometimes to Comic Sans or one would never use

[00:19:22] Rachael Herron: I’ve read that Comic Sans is really helpful. 

[00:19:23] Dr. Saumya Dave: Yes. Yes. Because I think you’re, you are seeing it from a different vantage point because it’s so jarring in that sense, but I picked up many errors that way I picked up inconsistencies and voice that way. So it was both the time and space away, but then also returning to a different form. I heard the author, Mike Waltz, once at a talk of hers I went to, she said she reads her drafts out loud sometimes. And I thought that was really interesting too, because I imagine there’s a lot that comes out when you’re actually hearing those words and things that may come up that way

[00:19:48] Rachael Herron: I’m so glad you’re saying this because I’m struggling with it. I’m re-releasing a collection of essays and I’m adding an essay to it. And I’m in the middle of a move as all my listeners now, and I have no printer anymore and I was just struggling with it today because I needed to print it out so I could take the pencil to it. And I couldn’t, but tomorrow when I’m working, I’m going to put it in Comic Sans and see what happens.

[00:20:08] Dr. Saumya Dave: Let me know! Let me know. 

[00:20:09] Rachael Herron: Okay!

[00:20:10] Dr. Saumya Dave: I understand the printer was, we don’t have one yet either. And yeah, I totally feel you. There’s nothing like having that tangible page and utensils

[00:20:17] Rachael Herron: And it’s that panic place too. Like when I just can’t figure out something, that’s when I go to the printing and today I was very frustrated. So thank you. That’s a craft tip that directly benefits me. So what in your life affects your writing in a surprising way? 

[00:20:32] Dr. Saumya Dave: Ooh, in a surprising way, I say actually the conversations I have with family and friends.

[00:20:39] Rachael Herron: How so?

[00:20:40] Dr. Saumya Dave: Well, I always find that there are certain themes that tend to come up again and again, and even if the you know, the face of the stories are not really the same, the underlying message might be. So when I was in my early twenties, my different groups of friends had ideas about, what do I want to be? Who would I want to be with? What kind of life do I want to have in 10, 20, 30 years? Just all these questions. And even though the different groups had different ideas of what they wanted, I realized under all of those conversations was just this idea of uncertainty. How do we deal with uncertainty and how do we learn who we are, and how do we become comfortable with who we are and how do we live a life that reflects our authentic values? And so those questions then drove a lot of the character developments in my first book. So I never expected that to happen because growing up, I read so many books. I loved Baby-Sitters Club’s Sweet Valley High. 

[00:21:27] Rachael Herron: Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. 

[00:21:30] Dr. Saumya Dave: Every series your listeners probably saw on every shelf growing up, I consumed. And so I always imagined, okay, my stories will come that way too. There’ll be groups of books that I’ve read and have inspired me, but really it’s the personal conversations that have had so much more impact. I’ll also then see if there’s a common theme coming up between family and friends, I’ll then look more into it in articles and things like that online and see what the psychological basis is behind certain virtues like grit and resilience and career choice and marriage. And that’ll also help a lot. So that’s been a very great surprise and fun too. 

[00:22:03] Rachael Herron: I love that. I love this, also just picturing your family and friends, not knowing that you’re going home to Google. What is the theme or idea that you’ve kind of been dealing with in the third, the third book that you’re thinking about?

[00:22:15] Dr. Saumya Dave: So the third book is about a new mom who is also a startup founder and CEO. So it really is about how he treats the women in our world. And what does it mean for a woman who wants as much as the guy in leadership? What does that look like for her? And what battles does she have to face? I, I’ve been doing so much research and investigations of that, and even things all the way to the healthcare system, you know what insurance covers, all of those things play such a role into what many women are able to do and also not do. And I find that both fascinating and infuriating, depending on which part of it I’m looking at, but that’s really the crux of what I’m looking at for that book is what does it mean to make something of your life when you have all these things on your plate. And it feels like certain things are stacked against you.

[00:23:01] Rachael Herron: Oh that’s beautiful. Sign me up for that. I would love that when it comes out. Can you tell us a little bit, because I was doing a brief Google on you before we started talking to. Can you tell us a little bit about your path to publishing? Because you queried a lot of agents before you found an agent, and I would love for the listeners to hear about that if you don’t mind 

[00:23:25] Dr. Saumya Dave: Oh, sure. So I got rejected over 200 times 

[00:23:29] Rachael Herron: Yes

[00:23:30] Dr. Saumya Dave: With my manuscript. I started trying to find an agent in 2008 and I did not sign with just the Watterson until 2018. So really it was such a journey and it, you know, up until that point, I was very straightforward in the way I was pursuing my career. So I was set for medical school. I evaluated by myself by either grades or by people telling me I was on the right path. So that external validation in that approval was fueling me a lot more than I realized. And it was one of those rejections came in and how much they broke me at first that I knew, hey my compass, I think is a little off. I’m not really seeking validation from things that are fulfilling me. I’m really relying on a lot of outside sources and that’s not really sitting right. So looking back, I’m just so grateful for those rejections because they gave me more than anything else that I’ve been through over the last decade plus, and, and I will say that I also found that rejections are not all the same, you know, at first I would send these letters out and I look back at those query letters and those chapter samples there, they’re just cringe-worthy and nobody would respond rightfully. So, but as I started doing more research and more editing, I get longer form rejections and longer ones. Then I get requests for revisions and rewrites. And then I get offers to have a phone call to see what wasn’t working and if I’d be willing to work on it. So it really taught me to look at failure with curiosity instead of fear, and instead of something that should bring shame. And I think I really needed that lesson on a personal level as well. I’m grateful and it took the time, you know, it just took the time it took. And that also was a good lesson too, that everything does not follow a straight timeline and that might be part of the point. Sometimes that might be part of the value 

[00:25:11] Rachael Herron: That has to be part of the value. I think that’s really, really gorgeous. And I love how you reframed these rejections as something to use and utilize. And I have this theory that when we get rejected in any way, in our writing career, that’s the time to celebrate because it is, it shows that we’re working and every time one of my students gets a rejection, I, you know, we insist on clapping and cheering and 

[00:25:36] Dr. Saumya Dave: That’s so great. That’s the way, it should be. I think if I, yeah, if I had that kind of energy years ago, it would have been so helpful. I think that’s great that you’re doing that really.

[00:25:43] Rachael Herron: Yeah. We have to learn it the hard way though. I think my first 5 or 10 agents rejections or you know, 30 more, like left me in bed, you know, just covers pulled over my head and bad, you know, my first bad review was the worst day of my life and now I just don’t care.

[00:26:01] Dr. Saumya Dave:  Well, that brings up a really good point. So they sting less over time. I felt the same way too, and I think that’s an important message to reiterate because yeah, I totally agree with you those first bad reviews. Really. They really have a special way of- stings a little bit, but, 

[00:26:19] Rachael Herron: and you believe them, 

[00:26:20] Dr. Saumya Dave:  you internalize them. 

[00:26:21] Rachael Herron: And now I don’t believe, I believe the, I believe right around that three, maybe four star reviews, but the ones don’t count and the fives don’t count. They’re not right. I haven’t written the best book ever. And I haven’t written the worst book ever. The truth is somewhere in the middle and nobody’s ever going to know. And the point is that I get to go to my desk every day and write some more 

[00:26:37] Dr. Saumya Dave: That’s so true and such an important reminder.

[00:26:39] Rachael Herron: So thank you for talking about it. That is really, really awesome. Speaking of books, so what is the best book that you’ve read recently? s

[00:26:44] Dr. Saumya Dave: So I read recently? So I read a memoir by Maya Lang called What We Carry and it’s a beautiful memoir by her about her relationship with her mom and her mom actually was a psychiatrist as well and then started having some dementia. And then after Maya became a mom herself. And so just the way she explores family identity, what it means to see our parents in different roles and see them as people who have a lot of other things going on besides parenting, I just thought it was so beautifully done. It’s very moving. And I was living with four generations of family over the past year, my husband and son and I were with my parents and grandparents. So I think I also read it at a time that that just felt especially today. 

[00:26:21] Rachael Herron: Oh, thank you. Memoir is my, one of my favorite genres to read, especially when it has something to do with especially mothers.

[00:27:33] Dr. Saumya Dave: Love

[00:27:35] Rachael Herron: I’m taking enough. Ashley Ford’s book just got released this week too, 

[00:27:37] Dr. Saumya Dave: I am so excited for that. 

[00:27:39] Rachael Herron: I am almost done. I think I came in on Tuesday and I’m like a chapter away from the end. It’s brilliant. 

[00:27:43] Dr. Saumya Dave: Oh really, I’m so

[00:27:52] Rachael Herron: nothing less, so good you’re gonna love it.
I had it, section thing last, so good. You’re going to love it so excited. I have it. I’m so excited. I’m so excited. We have similar tastes. All right. And now if you would not mind telling us about What a Happy Family?

[00:27:58] Dr. Saumya Dave: Sure. So What a Happy Family is about a boisterous fancy family from the suburbs of Atlanta and what happens to all of them after a scandal that really makes their family fall apart. The book also covers how each family member navigates mental health shame and intergenerational trauma. And ultimately it’s a story about how sometimes families have to break apart in order to come back together. 

[00:28:21] Rachael Herron: You’re hitting all of my cat nip buttons. It is, I have the pre-pub on my Kindle and now I’m just going to go. As soon as I finish Ashley’s book, I can start yours because that kind of shame, intergenerational trauma. Oh, all of it. All of it. Thank you so much for being on the show and for talking about your book and your work, where can we find you online?

[00:28:40] Dr. Saumya Dave: Sure. I’m on Twitter (SaumyaJDave) and Instagram saumyajdave  at @SaumyaJDave S-A-U-M-Y-A-J-D-A-V-E. I always feel the need to spell it out because they don’t know how to spell Dave. So those was redundant for 

[00:28:52] Rachael Herron: no, not at all. Perfect. Thank you. Thank you so much. And may the book when it releases fly from the shelves

[00:29:00] Dr. Saumya Dave: Thank you so much. This was great. I really appreciate it. Thank you

[00:29:01] Rachael Herron: Bye

Thanks so much for joining me on this episode of “How do you Write?” You can reach me on Twitter, twitter.com/RachaelHerron, or at my website, www.rachaelherron.com, you can also support me on Patreon and get essays on living your creative life for as little as a buck an essay at www.patreon.com/rachael spelled R, A, C, H, A, E, L and do sign up for my free weekly newsletter of encouragement to writers rachaelherron.com/write/

Now, go to your desk and create your own process and get to writing my friends.