Yesterday, Lala and I made ourselves hysterical with laughter. I was literally out of my damn mind, tears rolling down my face. Funniest thing I've heard in years. It all started with the Best Joke You Can Play On A Writer.
Lala: I could sneak in here and change all the names of your characters! Find and replace! Suddenly your main character is named Evelyn! And you don't know why!
Rachael: [It takes me a minute to get on board.] I hope you saved my file as something else first.
Lala: Of course. And then, I could add adverbs! Lots of them!
Rachael: Silkily. Creepily. Scurrilously!
Lala: I could find and replace every "He said" with….
Rachael: "He whispered!"
Lala: And every "She said" could be "She shrieked!"
[We are by this point almost on the floor, slayed by our own wit.]
Rachael: "She shrieked, she shrieked!" HAHAHAHAHA!
Lala: And then, oh my God…. Then, I could find and replace "He nodded" to….
Rachael: "He took off all his clothes!"
Lala (choking): I'm so sad I missed April Fool's!!!!
Rachael: What if I sent that version to my agent? Pay it forward! Then the next thing I send her would be so much better in comparison! Let's do it!
There you go. Now you know what to get the special writer in your life for their next birthday! Help them with their manuscript! They'll thank you in the long run. For sure.
I’m married to a writer (the neurotic kind) and those kinds of shenanigans would put him in the hospital…are you going to publish both versions?
psst…Lala…here’s another one you could do to make your favorite writer crazy:
http://www.instructables.com/id/Microsoft_Word_April_Fools_Joke/
Maybe next year. 😉
“I love it” she shrieked sneakily while he took off his clothes.
LOL! I particularly enjoyed the horrible adverbs. (Bad enough to use them in the comments…)
Yep, still hilarious.
That is hilarious. I would have been on the floor too.
Um…no thanks. I’d rather have some socks, or just pancakes or something. And keep Lala away from my computer, please.
What a screech – as opposed to a hoot! And there’s MY cat Digit. I do love that cat in all his six-toed glory and the reprieve of a life with him again is something so miraculous. Think I told you when it happened that it happened to my friend Kimberly too. Her all-black boy Seamus was gone for something like 9 months to a year and then showed up one the back patio meowing to get in. We all got the 2 a.m. call. HE’S BACK!!! Happy sigh…..
I think your agent might have a mild freak-out, along the lines of “oh, no, she was so good, what happened?!!” She would shriek this to herself, silkily, of course.
You made me “snort” my coffee…! Thanks for making me laugh so hard, you totally made my day 🙂
That’s just hilarious. … So long as she had backed it up first! (grin) But otherwise? Love it.
OMG! The Susanna above? IS MY AGENT.
Ahem.
🙂
I think my favorite part of this was “I’m so sad I missed April Fool’s!!!” Because, WHAT AN AWESOME ANNIVERSARY GIFT.
*shriek to herself, silkily*
I think I read that exact phrase in a slush sub just the other day.
Thanks for the laugh! I may have to link to this from my editing blog. Give the kids a giggle. 🙂
I kinda wanna take some prose I wrote and try it, ha ha ha. Maybe I’ll use it in the cover letters I’m writin’ for job applications.
This is awesome. Although I’d have to kill anyone who did this to me, obviously!
Evil, evil ideas. Have I told you that you’re not allowed anywhere near my laptop, yet? Good. Cause you’re not 😉
LOL! Perfect! … and great reason to always have a backup copy 😉