DMV. Oy. Where do they find them? I understand that their job is to deal with unhappy people. But come on, that’s my job, too. No one calls the police department when they’re ecstatically happy.
But I needed to pick up my plates (I YARN). I had an appointment last week to pick them up. Appointments rock. If you have one, you usually wait less than an hour. But when I went to remove the old plates, right before the appointment, I couldn’t get them unscrewed from the car. It was like those stupid bolts had rusted right to the car. I sat in the driveway, in the rain, after being up working and moving for 30 hours straight, crying because I was skinning my hands on the damn screwdriver. There was a gardening crew working across the street, and when I started disgusting myself by hoping that a big ole gardener would come help me I gave up, went inside and sat on the couch. I breathed.
So earlier this week, after getting a friend to remove them for me, I went to DMV without an appointment on my day off. (Appointments take about three weeks to get, and plates are cancelled and returned if not picked up after 30 days, so I had a time crunch.) I waited in line for about thirty minutes to get my slip of paper that said I would be number B140. The wait time on the scrolling marquee said I had a two hour wait. So I left and had lunch. Came back an hour and a half later — they were up to B40. I went and ran errands for an hour. When I came back, they were at B55. Two hours later, I gave up and just sat there for another hour, working on Cromarty. Basically, six hours later, they were only up to B95, and I had to be somewhere and left. Frustrated out of my mind. And it smelled funny in there. Hot and stuffy. Way too much hair product.
Yesterday, I went back for my last attempt. I arrived at 7:30, half an hour before it opened. There were only about a hundred people in front of me. When the doors opened, there were at least two hundred behind me. We waited in the ticket line, which took till 8:30 to navigate. Then I sat down to wait my turn. I watched an elderly man with limited English skills deal with the woman who was going to issue him the driving test.
She said, “You’re late. I can’t help you.”
He said, “But I wait in line.”
Loud, exaggerated words. “You’re late! Your appointment was at eight. It’s eight-thirty. Make another appointment.”
“But I take day off work for this.”
“I CAN’T HELP YOU.”
Luckily, he had a friend who advocated for him, who pointed out that he had been in line since 7:15, and it was only the sluggishness of the lines that had made him late. She still insisted that there was nothing that she could. She was SO rude and SO curt. His friend asked for a manager who said to let him take the test. Oh, that chapped her hide, all right. I was so pleased.
But the pleasure left when they called my number at 9am. Yep. The plate was wrong. It said “IYARN,” no space between the words, and it was all grouped over to the right. So the second half of the plate was blank. I even thought about accepting it for a minute. I couldn’t bear thinking about dealing with this all over again. So I asked the woman helping me. “How does this look to you?” She raised an eyebrow and said without hesitation, “Stupid.”
All right. I waited another hour for them to cancel the plate and re-send my corrected request. So in six to eight weeks, I’ll be doing this all over again.
Damn! What DMV were you at? The one in El Cerrito is usually pretty good, and even without an appointment I’ve never had to wait as long as you did. Then again, I suppose there are special rules for picking up special plates, so do what you have to do to YARN.
Interesting how tales of government interaction (DMV, jury duty, etc) tend to make great blog posts…
OMG! I live in the sticks for all intents and purposes…and DMV is pretty bad. What you have just described is a nightmare! I can NOT immage it at all…you are a brave soul!
Oh, sweetie, what an ordeal! That’s why, when I bought my car four years ago, I insisted they let me transfer my existing plates. And I renew by mail, even tho’ the giant DMV HQ is maybe a mile from my house. And I renew for two years at a time . . . Anyhoo, I’m glad you’re making them make it right. If only they could just mail the plates to you!
[Family trivia: When Dad was in college and the main DMV was downtown, he had a summer job operating the elevator in the building!]
See? I *knew* there was a reason I didn’t drive when I lived in CA… I wasn’t terrified of 880. Nope, not me, ma’am. I just didn’t want to lose any time at the DMV. Definitely not 880.
your entry reminded me of another DMV story at http://tequilamockingbird.blogspot.com/. Check out her entry from Feb. 3rd! misery loves company
Quel horrors ! Here in Boston it used to be pretty bad, but I have never heard of any thing as bad as that. Good luck on your next trip.
Quel horrors ! Here in Boston it used to be pretty bad, but I have never heard of any thing as bad as that. Good luck on your next trip to the DMV.
Thank you, Rachael, for a good chuckle. Your writing delights me to no end. I was feeling a bit blue, and you brought a much needed smile to my face.
Good for you for making sure you’re going to get what you want. If you settled, you probably would have always regreted it (and would have been pissed every time you looked at it). It’s annoying to wait and go through that again, but you will probably come out ahead in the long run, annoyance-wise.
oh my god. what a freak show! the DMV in boston is like a walk in the park. the most i’ve ever had to wait for ANYTHING is an hour.
Oh, Rachel, poor you!
The DMVs here in Richmond (even without Maggi’s dad!) have really done a 180 degree turnaround in the last 5 or 10 years. It’s quick, it’s pleasant, and it’s fairly efficient. You had an absolute nightmare, which made me feel guilty about the fact that I was laughing out loud while I read about it! As my mom would say “Well, sure, it was awful, but you tell it funny!” 🙂
that sucks!
Oh dear, I’m off to get my tabs today, and you are scaring me. I know it can’t be that bad here in the pleasant mid-west. I might get a new license as well if the line isn’t atrocious (i moved 1 1/2 years ago and never changed my addy!).
I also wanted to say that your sundae pic from yesterday reminds me of a funny story. My friend Wisconsin Mel went into a burrito store that had a sign in the window proclaiming “burritos as big as your head”. naturally, she asked them about the sign and the guy working replied, “well not as big as YOUR head”! True story, I swear!!
You ought to send them a bill for your time! Or better yet, talk to people and get their stories. Then compile the stories into a book, like Erma Bombeck “If life is a bowl of cherries, why am I in the pits?”. With your wonderful writing, a sure hit!
My last couple experiences in DMV included a man screaming F*** YOU, B***H to the lady at the counter, getting my license (after waiting 1.5 hours in the photo line) with a man’s photo on it (I think he was in line in front of me) and me somehow paying registration fees on a car I didn’t own??? Wha?
I’m sorry to laugh at your misery, but this made my dreary Friday. When I first moved to Vermont (only a few years ago) there was only one DMV in the entire state where you could get a photo on your ID (and only 2 DMVs in the state). Progress has now enabled photos to be taken at both locations. You’re such a great writer – I hope your novel is still coming along!
Ahh, the California DMV. Everyone who has ever been has a story. But really, your local DMV sucks some serious monkey butt. In LA, the longest I have waited without an appointment is 2hrs, with one, 5 minutes.
About 10 years ago I was getting my drivers license at the Wash DC DMV. After waiting in several lines over several hours, I finally had my license in my hand. Luckily I looked at it before I left. They had me as a MALE! Now I probably wasn’t looking very fetching that day but come on!
Boston was absolute hell when I lived there. Wait in line all morning only to have the person shut the window for lunch! you lose your place in line. Of course this was 10 yrs ago. I remember California DMV too, not everything can be done at one window, wait in line then go wait again… grrrr. Many a long hours I have spent in DMV lines. Maine is such a cake walk compared to the big cities. I wish I had some good trick, other than stabbing everyone in front of you with your knitting needles. (no, really, don’t do that). I can sympathize. The DMV in some places totally rots.
Your blog, even this entry, makes me homesick for the bay area. I never had too much trouble at the Clairmont off Telegraph DMV, (although it did smell pretty punky) and it’s right around the corner from Article Pract for when I had a crappy number.
The paint scheme for your new place rocks!
Hi
Nice site! Wery Good! (Sry for my bad englesh)