Digit was the worst cat ever. He arrived as a tiny little jerk.
Even in that picture, he’s probably about to scratch me.
He fell in love with me, though, instantly. I was mama, since he was too young to leave his own who’d abandoned him under a house in San Francisco, but he was never my “fur baby.” I didn’t call him my son. No offense to those who call their pets that—it’s lovely. It just wasn’t the way we rolled. We were bachelors together in that little mother-in-law hovel that clung to the hill in east Oakland. We both went out at night and came back tore up. I’d have careless cigarette burns in my clothing, and he’d have foxtails and other cats’ claws stuck in his.
We bunked together. Happily. He nuzzled under my chin and shoved his paw in mine, using his claws to get closer if he needed to. He attacked visitors with creativity and enthusiasm, clawing his way up their jeans and over their shoulders to the sound of their curses. He drew blood first and often. I told visitors, “Don’t touch the cat, I mean it.” Then if they did that silly, “Oh, all cats love me, watch,” I never felt sorry for them and handed out bandages.
My neighbors, when we moved to a tonier section of Oakland, hated my emeffing cat. They demanded recompense for Digit chasing their cat into their house and beating the hell out of her—and I was about to pay their vet bill until I saw their cat beat the hell out of Digit in my yard, so we agreed to pay our own bills.
Digit saw me through six relationships. He didn’t care for most of the people I dated, but he loved Lala. Hated her dogs, though. Hated. He spent years thinking about ways to decapitate Harriet in her sleep, but Harriet could hold her own. He also hated me for a while, for introducing such low-bred animals into my life. He forgave all, however, when we got Clementine, a pit bull of his very own. For at least the first year that Clementine lived with us, all Digit had to do was breathe to make Clementine cower. Digit loved it. Nothing was better than punching Clementine and making her cry. It was fucking Disneyland.
He cost me at least fifteen thousand dollars over the years, and that’s not including the five thousand the knitters raised for his care after he returned from the dead (first, he died. Then, three months later, I got schmittens. Then he came back from the dead. After that, there was a raffle that put him back together again. If you haven't read that story here or in my memoir, I'll let you have a minute).
Fourteen years ago, I had him de-manned entirely, removing his penis because of a life-threatening disease. Last year, a vet told me soberly that, in fact, the cat I thought was male was actually female. I laughed my way out and I remain impressed with the remarkable job the first vet did.
Because that cat was all male. He stood up to pee, his beer farts were terrible, and when he lost at poker we had to eat ramen for weeks. And he was my guy. I was his girl. We were each other's. We’ve been each other's since the very first moment. It was love at first sight for both of us, and tonight, as I held his paw as he drifted off, there was no one else in the whole world but him.
Today's decision to let him go was the right decision. It was a terrible day, deciding. Lala called me at work this morning, and I was able to take vacation for the rest of the day.
I spent almost seven hours in bed today holding him as he slept like this.
By the time we got to the vet, he was almost all the way checked out, not even able to purr. Strangely, it was a relief to let him go.
He was a jerk. A real, complete asshole. And he was MINE.
My face hurts and my head aches. My eyes are almost swollen shut. I miss the hell out of that beast already and it’s gonna get worse, I bet, before it gets better. We have a lot of animals, yes. We still have three dogs and two cats left. And you know what? I like them all. I even love them.
But I loved no one and nothing like I loved Digit. We came as a package deal, and for the first time in seventeen years, he’s not yelling at me, and I’m not yelling back.
Lala has said for a while that his first name is Fuck Off. This is because of how many times a day one or the other of us said, “Fuck off, Digit.” Because he was a ridiculous, demanding jerk who tried to eat the food off our plates constantly. But he’s dying, I’d joke.
Not a joke, I guess.
Tonight, after we said our goodbyes, before the vet pushed the needle, I said, “Fuck off, Digit.”
Lala said, “Fuck right off.”
As we left, we saw the vet petting his body.
Some cat. Fucking love of my life.
Kate Lathrop says
Omg – am so very very sorry – I remember when digit went on walk about. For what it’s worth sending love and hugs. Blessings.
Abigail says
Oh Rachael, I am so so sorry for your loss. I am crying for Digit too.
moiraeknittoo says
I’m raising a god damn glass of something eyewatering to him tonight, because damn. That was one hell of a cat.
Zaftiguous says
I was doing okay until I got to the “fuck off” part. Then I lost it. Completely. #kleenex
Angela Hockabout says
I am so so sorry. 🙁 Sounds like he lived the heck out of his life. He was a boss.
Linda McDonald says
I’m so very sorry. I know that there isn’t much anyone can say that will help with the hurt. Just know that I care, and am thinking about you and Digit.
(formerly) no-blog-rachel says
Oh…so sorry Rachael. Much love to you.
Cheryl Brake says
Oh, wow, I’m soooo sorry! I know how hard that is to do. We’re gonna have to do that soon also, with one of our dogs. I just haven’t grown the balls to do it yet. Cherish the memories. Jerks need love, too 🙂
janna says
I’m so sorry, Rachael. I’ve told you before that I loved Digit, too, even without ever meeting him — I love grouchy old man cats, and he seemed to be the ultimate one. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve re-read the story of his return. And I know it’s hard to let them go, even when you know it’s the right thing to do. Hugs to you….
jen says
oh no. so, so sorry.
mandaleigh says
Tears fell. We lost our Bryn on Valentine’s. I never dreamed I could cry so much. Be gentle together, you will need it in the days to come. Love.
Michele says
Oh dear. I’m so sorry for your loss. Now missing my own old gal that I never really liked but loved like the dickens. Thank you for sharing your boy with us, every little bit of him.
Kristin says
I’m crying with you over here. I get it. Completely get it. And I’m so, so sorry for the loss of your fucking cat.
Hugs from afar, my friend. xo
Rachel T says
Good night little buddy. Give my Horatio your regards.
Chanpreet says
Rachael I wish I could find any words that lessen your pain at losing Digit. By sharing Digit’s escapades you made him ours too. He was loved and he knew it. I’m so sorry.
Lindsey says
RIP, Digit. You made a big impression on this life.
My condolences to you and Lala, and hugs to help you in your time of mourning.
Sarah W says
I’ve just read your blog entry and I’m bawling. So sorry to hear about Digit. I lost my two boys a few years ago – both went into kidney failure. Maybe Digit can terrorize my Tom and Jerry.
Ginger says
So much love to you and all those left in his wake. Thanks for sharing him with us over the years.
Tanya says
Love always hurts. Sweet dreams, Digit.
Judy H. says
Oh, my goodness. I am so sorry. I’m all teared up.
Shelley B. says
Rachael, what a smart guy Digit was to pick such a loving Mama! He moved in, captured your hearts and that was it. My heart breaks for you and Lala tonight. Sending you both hugs to help ease the pain.
danielle says
Hugs, hugs, and more hugs. The hardest and kindest thing in the world is to let the ones we love go. Dec 2011, we made the decision for Jack who had rectal cancer for 9 months; April 2012 we made the decision for Althea who was sick for 2 days when we discovered she had metastasized lung cancer. And now my son is facing this with his best friend of the past 11 years. I know how it feels. I do. And all I can say is let it out – and do not be surprised if you still hear/feel him for months and years to come because he will always be a part of you.
Hugs…..and oh by the way – FO!
Andrea says
There are no words, but there is love. All for you. He was something.
Alison says
Rachael, I never thought I could love a cat thousands of miles away from me, but with your stories and pictures you brought that mo-fo cat to life for your readers. I have been dreading this day and I’m crying as I write this. He was one hell of a cat and I am so glad you shared him with us.
I have my own cranky feline – Winnie, who has been with me for 10 years (ever since she was a kitten ). She wasn’t a neighborhood traveller like Digit – she’s a chicken in fact – but like Digit she’s a one-person cat. And like Digit, she’s the type of cat you warn people about (including “cats love me” people). Sending you lots of hugs from Vancouver.
Inky says
My heart aches. I remember so well when Digit came back ♡
Cindi says
Thanks for sharing Digit’s life with all of us.
Caroline says
I said it over on bookface and I’ll say it here, too. oh god. crying here, too. I hate this. hate it. love to you all.
Barbara says
I am so sorry Rachel. He sounds like he was Some Cat.
Sue says
I’m so sorry for your loss. Digit was special, and a house full of animals doesn’t lessen the pain of losing him. Yes, he was an ass, but he was YOUR ass (that sounds wrong, but you know what I mean). Making me miss my lost ones even more than normal now. Hugs to both of you.
Dani B says
I’m sure he went content in the knowledge that he is totally irreplaceable, because who would deliberately invite an asshole like that into their home? So sorry for your loss xx
Lori says
My cats are wondering why I’m hugging them tightly and smothering them with tear-filled kisses – more than usual at least. So sorry Digit is gone. What a cat!
Anna says
I think everyone who’s ever read about Digit loves him, I know I’m sitting here crying that he’s gone. I am sure I wasn’t the only one with him on my mind yesterday when you were tweeting about him, those assholes get all the attention.
Thinking of you.
Julie says
My heart is breaking for you. Just a week ago I was telling a co-worker about Digit’s absence and return. Please know that even though many of us didn’t know him, we knew him through you. Sending comforting hugs.
aimalyn says
Ugh, I am so, so sorry for your loss. I’m amazed he held on for so long, and I’m glad you two had many years together after his resurrection.
I always think of him as your animagus husband. 🙂 Much love to you and your family.
Carole says
Awww crap. I’m so sorry. And, as the owner of an aging cat myself, I get it.
Debbie Q says
Oh I am SO sorry. When I say I know how you feel, I do. I STILL miss my Zachary Clarence Mr. Crabbypants. Hugs from freezing Northeast Ohio!!
Annie says
So sorry for the loss of your grumpy old man.
Nestra says
I’m sorry. I understand.
Zoom says
Rachael, I’m so so so very sorry about Digit. I always loved how much you loved him. Digit was the best cat I never met. GC and I are both crying.
Janella says
I’m sorry for you loss. I remember reading when he left and when he came back. What a cat!
Lori Kuhl says
Rachel I am so incredibly sorry this has happened. My thoughts are with you and Digit today.
margene says
The loss of our dearest little ones is the hardest thing we go through, especially when they have worked their way into our hearts the way Digit worked into yours. You had the gift of true love and you gave the gift of true love. To lose that love is a heart-breaker and my heart goes out to you.
Jodi says
This is beautiful. xo
Becca says
I’m very sorry. He was lucky to spend his life with you.
Sally at Rivendale Farms says
I also was good til I got to “fuck off, fuck right off” and now am bawling my eyes out. I hope Digit is kicking some ass in cat heaven – I’m pretty sure he is. Hugs to you and Lala.
Hail Digit.
Laura says
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ve followed you for years now and Digit was one helluva cat. Peace to you and yours.
susanne says
They take over your heart and it breaks when the have to go. RiP Digit.
Liz C says
Oh Rachel. This pain is some of the worst there is; our pets, and I think particularly cats, are such huge parts of our every day living that we cannot help seeing them around every corner, hearing their voices in our minds long after they’ve gone ahead of us. In our house is still a gaping Brutus-shaped hole where our own grumpy old man cat left us bereft. The other animals in the house are beloved, but I believe in every life, we are privileged to have The Special One, the Anam Cara; a soul friend. Clearly Digit was yours. All our love to you and LaLa.
Good night, Digit. Swift journey. Kick a little ass with Brutus for me, would ya?
Mandy says
So very, very sorry for your loss. There’s nothing quite like the loss of our furry life partners…I’m remembering Digit and sending you love today.
Mark W. says
Hail and Farewell, Digit! He was so badass, he used up two lives in one. My thoughts are with you all.
Eve says
So sorry to read this … Digit was a special, lucky guy. His was a life well lived which makes his departure so much harder and creates a void that no other cat can ever fill for you or for Lala.
Katie says
O)h, Rach, I am so sorry. It will get better just not anytime soon. I love my animals almost more than I love my children, only becasue when I come home, I get the Barbara Streisand welcome form them “She’s here! she’s here1 She’shereshe’shereshe’shere!” and I get “Did you get milk from the humans I live with.
He’s on a sunny hillside, with lots of cats and dogs to terrify until you join him. If I get there first, I’ll take care of him.
Geeka says
Sigh, I’m crying too. I went through this earlier this year. It’s amazing how much writing it all out helps.
http://sciencegeeka.wordpress.com/2013/05/25/an-obituary-for-a-cat/
Janine says
oh Rachael! I am so sorry for your loss. I have been reading your blog since forever and I remember whe Digit vanished and came back ( eventually)
He was your cat and you were his person and you knew when it was time to say goodbye even though it hurts. We went through this with our elderly dog this time last year and it still hurts sometimes, but the “good” memories are slowly replacing the sad ones. Hugs xxx
Donna Jefferis says
Dear Rachael I am sorry for your loss, sending best wishes from downunder.
Janine says
Oh, darlings, I’m so sorry for your loss. I know it’s a big one and he will leave a hole in your family. Big big hugs.
Renee Rothmann says
so so sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Kim says
I’m so sorry for your loss. The special ones are especially difficult to lose. Take care of yourself. Sending hugs.
Teri S. says
I”m so, so sorry, Rachael. I know the grief is searing. It will get worse, then it will ever so slowly get better. He was an amazing cat. Take care of yourself and Lala. xoxo ~~Teri
Mags says
He was a miracle pet! So sorry for your loss.
--Deb says
I’m so, so sorry.
auntiemichal says
I’m going to miss him, too. Hugs all around.
Rhonda from Baddeck says
I gasped when I read the title of your blog. I’m so sorry, Rachael. I know you’ll miss him terribly. We’ll also miss hearing stories about his latest antics. May he rest in peace, and may you find comfort in remembering what a special guy he was.
Jeanne B. says
Oh, Digit, I say, as my heart breaks for Rachael (and LaLa, too, but mostly for Rachael, because he was Her Cat).
Because of your amazing return, I discovered this blog, Rachael’s writing, and a wonderful inspiring tale to tell when others had cats that went missing. Digit’s Amazing Journey gave hope that maybe their beloved pets would find their way home, too. Never, ever, ever give up hope.
Digit, you proved that, even if the proof came in a growly, snarly, grumpy package. I’m crying for your loss. You were one of the special ones. You were so special, your human had to find you and lose you twice in one lifetime.
Rest, Digit, in “peace” as it is defined by your unique and surly self. I’m already missing the stories.
Enormous hugs to Rachael, LaLa, and those you’ve left behind. I have to go hug my 19-year-old granny cat and dry my eyes on the fur of my other four now.
M-H says
You made me cry – me, the tough old dyke! Take your time, sweetheart, and mourn. He was an original. XXXXX
Vicki says
Love to you all.
claudia says
I’m so sorry, babe. Peace to both of you.
Pat L says
OMG, Rachael! I am so, so sorry about Digit. All of us – your Blog family for many, many years – are going to miss your loving stories of that “effing Digit”. I know how you feel but somehow it was magnified many times by Digit! Famous as “the cat who kept coming back” and loved by all of us as if he were our own. Hope you and Lala will be okay and explain to the other four-footeds where digit is now. Sending hugs!
Pat L says
Blast, now I am crying! RIP Digit!
Suzanne says
I am so sorry. He had a great life with you.
Valerie says
So sorry. Love all around.
Janet White says
I sit here crying for a cat I don’t know. And for the humans who miss him. God bless.
Donna says
That was possibly the best obituary that I have ever read. You captured both his personality and your relationship so well. And it made me cry. And laugh a little. He was lucky that he had you, and you’re lucky that you had each other.
I’m so sorry that you lost your friend, but so glad that you had him with you as long as you did. Take care
Janice in GA says
I’m so, so sorry for your loss. 🙁 I’m glad he came back that time. I’m sorry he’s gone for good this time.
We love them so much. And it’s so hard when the end comes.
::hugs::
Monica says
So, so sorry. I know it hurts so bad. I cried a little with you, reading this. We love them so, and it sucks ASS to say goodbye.
Beth PR says
Thinking of you.
Marlene Cullen says
My sincere condolences. As I scroll through, reading these posts, I’m amazed at how many lives you have touched, Rachael. I shouldn’t be. . . you are an amazing person. Thank you for sharing all your stories. . . the highs and the lows. Wishing you a quiet day . . . memories of a scrappy kitten who became your guy.
Donna says
I still remember having to explain that I made a donation because I met this cat on the internet; I like to think that Digit spent that money on gambling and women instead of a ninth life. XOXOX
Helen says
I remember when Digit came back – he was truly yours.
I am so sorry. I know how hard it is to lose a cat that is always there no matter how much of a pain in the ass they are. Big hugs.
Kris says
I’m so sorry. {{{hugs}}}
cgReno says
Cannot add to the comments above, all said perfectly. Fuck off Digit, and hugs for Rachael and Lala………
Kendra says
Oh, Rachael, I am so sorry to hear this. I’ll give my Morgen an extra hugs (sans scratches) in Digit’s honor tonight.
Nell says
I’m so sorry, Rachel. You gave that asshole a great life and home.
dana says
Rachael, I can only add to the chorus and say I’m sorry, and I’m crying for a cat I never met and probably wouldn’t have liked anyway.
Martha Kiger says
I had a pain in the butt fat cat named Sid He was the “orson wells of cats” I saw the photo of Digit and remember my poor little guy looked so much the same before we took him to the vets to say goodbye. I still have the same hole from that amazing love of your life pain in the butt you describe from when we lost Sid. My 5 year old son had a book then called “6 is so much less than 7” about an animal lover who had many animals in his life but lost one. The story books I read him about losing a pet (there are quite a few out these dyas) were solace for me when I was supposed to be strong and not fall apart. We have now lost 3 animals in my son’s lifetime (14 years) but have added 3 more and for a time fostered one to make 4. Minh says he wanted to be a vet when he was little but now he says he could never tell a child his pet was dying. Tears and love to you on this loss. I will remember Digt as immortal in your stories.
MaryB in Richmond says
Oh, sweetie! I’m so, so sorry! I remember sobbing at work when he came back, and I cried again this time when I read that he won’t be coming back again.
What a great life and love the two of you had for all these years!
Big hugs and smooches,
MaryB
Lucretia says
Sweet Rachael and Dear Digit…your stories made my cry in that sadhappy kind of way. I am reminded of my own beloved Kitty Grrrl, a cranky Siamese who chose to love me for 15 years. Many feline blessings to both of you.
Ivy says
I am so sorry. I have loved your Digit stories and he sounds like a fantastic, awesome cat. I’m crying as I read this, and hoping that Digit is enjoying beating the crap out of some other cats in the kitty afterlife.
LissaG says
I have a similar cat named Fuck Off Hershel… don”t know what I’ll do when he’s gone.. hope Im as eloquent as you are. And Fuck Off Digit…
Jenny says
Shit. Now I’m crying too. I sort of thought he’d live forever. My heart goes out to you both.
melissa says
oh, no. not Digit. I’ve followed his story (and yours) for YEARS. I thought he’d live forever – espeically after he came BACK. My heart is with you and Lala.
Dani says
Oh Rachael, so shitty. I am not a cat person AT ALL but there was something about your love of your jerk cat that was truly special. (I think this is at least the third time I have cried over your cat!). Sending virtual hugs 🙁
Laurie says
Oh honey. I’m so sorry. You know it has to happen some day but that doesn’t ever make us ready.
Digit WAS special. I fell in love with him the first time you told a story about him. I had one like him too. A Siamese. Tough old bird that left a lot of scars on a lot of people. I still miss him.
I’m not going to say anything about it getting better because I still get that ache in my throat when I think of Kit. But I wouldn’t change having him in my life for anything. I’m sure you feel the same about Digit.
Hugs love. Hugs and hugs and I’ll snuggle with my kitty tonight and think of Digit. He of the peppery personality.
Isabelle says
De-lurking to say I’m so, so, so very sorry.
Nancy says
Oh Rachael, I’m so very sorry. When they’re as tough and resilient as Digit, it’s hard to imagine them ever reaching that moment when you know it’s time to let them go. My heart goes out to you, Lala, and the whole furry family. Will hold you all close in my heart and thoughts.
sapphireblue says
I’m so sorry! You accepted this cat despite his temperament and saw him through his illnesses. This says something about your character. Many people would have ditched a cat like this. You stuck it out. Big hugs!
Bonnie says
I’m sorry for your loss.
Sandy says
Now I’m crying. At work. I’m so, so sorry. The love of your life doesn’t always come in the package that everyone supposes that it will. (that actually applies to a lot of life…)
Be Well.
saranlap says
Some of them just take over our hearts like that, don’t they? We had a Queenie (and she was!) who had the most presumptuous attitude…and I loved her beyond measure for it. Letting her go was so hard but I’d never swap it for the alternative of not having had her in my life at all.
So very sorry for your loss.
Marcy says
What an incredible life Digit had with you. I’m touched by your love and caring for him. You made a difference to each other. Hugs.
Lynn in Boise says
Safe journey to Digit. He was one lucky boy to have spent his life with you.
It’s hard to type through my tears.
mosprott says
Aw honey, I’m so so sorry. Digit had more lives than most, and each was better than the last because he was with you. We’re all wrapped around you, with Digit.
Barbara says
Oh, honey, I’m so very sorry. Hug Lala a lot. Make her hug you too. ((((hug)))) These are from me.
Cindi says
This post made me cry. My Maine Coon (Elwood) is 17 and I am really dreading the day he leaves. They really wrap themselves around our hearts, don’t they?
Doris says
I am so sorry Rachel. I know how much it hurts to have a cat-sized hole in your heart. I am sending you a virtual hug.
Rachel says
So sorry for your loss. I’ve been reading your blog since Digit went on a walkabout and you thought you’d lost him, and remember crying when I read your entry that he had made his way back. What a marvelous cat he was. So glad you two had each other.
yogahz says
You made him a cat I cared about through your writing. I remember being so happy when he came back to you. That seems like yesterday.
I’m so sorry.
Lori says
I am so sorry.
I have followed your blog for years and always loved your Digit stories.
By any measure, he was an outstanding cat, truly a once in a lifetime cat.
Thoughts and prayers to you and Lala.
Afton says
I am so sorry. We all know the name of the ONE. I love my present two but neither is the ONE that I still grieve.
Teresa says
I’m crying my eyes out for you and Lana. Love…
Wendy says
My heart aches for you and I’m crying my mascara off at work. (It’s a nice look.)Consider yourself virtually hugged.
But still, I had to smile a little at your blog post title. I have been here, reading along, for so much of the Digit story throughout the years.
kayT says
Third time Digit made me cry: when he ran away, when he came home, and now. Damn cats really do “take over our hearts” as saranlap said.
I’ll be thinking of you, Rachel, and Digit too, and my old Rocky who was so much like Digit, and all the other tough old cats. Glad to have had them in my life.
J says
I’ll bet that m-f cat is giving Saint Francis one hell of a hard time.
And that may be the best piece of writing you’ve ever posted here, a fitting memorial to a hairy relationship.
celeste says
RIP Digit, off to the Happy Hunting Grounds. I lost my Stevie to kidney disease, it is so hard when that day comes. HUGS.
Stardancer says
I’m sorry for your loss, but glad you got to have him (be had by him) for those years.
Anneh says
Dammit, you made me cry at the service desk at work.
Miranda says
Oh, fuck all. I just put my boy Jake down after twenty years of hell raising boy-cattitude. Even with advanced face cancer, he was The Boss Cat, tuxedo and all, and my two English mastiffs still deferred their dinner to him even to the last. He was the most self-assured but insistent cat ever, not to be denied entry onto your lap or your pillow, and I miss the hell out of him. Love to you, Rachael. Our boys would have made a hell of a team.
Anne says
So sorry to read about Digit. We lost our Rocky, also 17 years old, a few months ago, and I think that he and Digit are probably hanging out together now – they seem to have a lot in common.
Take care – it does hurt to lose them, no matter how long we have them.
Kathy says
So very sorry for your loss.
Jenni says
I am so sorry for your loss. We said good bye to our Lady Argon this summer and as much as I was often telling her to fuck off, we dearly miss her bossy little mew.
Lynn says
Oh, hell, I’m sorry.
Sally says
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Yvonne says
I’m so very sorry Rachael.
JJ says
Oh. Speechless. The best and worst thing about having furry creatures in our ovens are how short a time we have them. I loved Digit stories so much. I am a bit teary, and I don’t usually cry.
(like you I had to get 2 shittens to fill the hole my Emma left. I love them, but it will never be the same)
Dara Bell says
I am so sorry for your loss.
KathleenC says
Damn it. I know it happens. I’ve made that horrible awful terrible choice myself twice now. But still… I hate it. Hate the loss, hate the empty, hate the hurt.
But… I love the years with. The purring and licks, the playing and catnip fueled wack-outs, the snuggles. The love.
The first is a terrible price to pay and totally completely and fully worth it all the way.
Much hugs to all of you including the other furry members of your family.
Leslie says
I am sorry for your loss of your handsome boy. I cried when I read your post just like I cried when he came back from the dead. Cats and dogs hold a special place in my heart, and I know the heartbreak of when it’s time to say goodbye. I just wanted to say thank you for sharing all of your animals with us through your blog.
Kim says
I’m so sorry to hear about Digit. I’ve followed your stories of him over the years. I lost my jerky cat a few years ago, and although we have three other cats, he was very special. It’s a weird bond and most people don’t get it. I dreamt about Zak for a long time afterward and each time, I’d say I was so glad to see him and I’d hold him. Heartbreaking. Take care of yourself and know that you were lucky to have each other.
Rachel Mitchell says
Oh, Rachael, I’m so sorry. Your post made new cry. Hugs to you from Ohio.
Kerry says
Oh man, I’m sorry to read this. You have all my sympathy. I had a ridiculous old cat of my own, and I was always glad to follow along and read the adventures of your old asshole cat while holding on to my old asshole cat. Kitty demanded to be carried around almost constantly for his last 5 years, and if you didn’t oblige he screamed so terribly that over the years I have pet sitters beyond count call me to tell me they thought he was dying, because he was just SCREAMING. When you picked him up, it was like someone hit the off switch. Then he would give you a big “that’s right b*tch” wink and fade off to sleep in your arms, exactly like he wanted. Who would have thought you could miss something that caused so much sleeplessness and irritation, yet there it is.
Some of them just take a bigger piece of your heart when they go. It’s the cost of the privilege love, and I would pay it every time.
Michelle says
OMG – I’m sooo sorry sweetie!!! You and Digit have been a part of my life for sooo long! I’ve stalked your site and loved your boy for a lot of years. I sat here at work and had a good cry – I will miss him! Please know that Digit’s life has touched many of us and his spirit will live on in our memories. HUGE hugs to you and Lala – love you all!
Silvia says
I’m so sorry. First loves and all. Be well.
maddy says
Oh fuck off Digit. You stinkin rotten jerk.
**sobs**
Yeah … fuckoff
Karen says
I’m so sorry for your loss. Wish I knew words of comfort but there really aren’t any that even come close.
Gwen says
Love for you and Lala and creatures left. So very sorry.
Maria says
I am so sorry to hear about Digit. I had a similar beast of a cat called Tabby (I was 6). He was an orange tom cat, 18 lbs. without a scrap of fat on him. He owned the neighborhood for about 3 miles in any direction and would only come home when he needed to go to the vet because one of his battle wounds was abscessing. He wound up with FIV when he was 8 and became an indoor kitty immediately. He pissed on everything from my textbooks to my bedclothes to express his opinions of this change. I’ve still got a piece of sheet music with his blood spatters across it from the billionth time he managed to slip his cone and re-open his wounds in an impressive and artistic spray of fluids. I don’t usually tell people about all of the shit he pulled, because they don’t usually get it. The war stories just make the bond closer. We had 16 years together. Now he’s resting in my parents’ courtyard, right by the birdbath, under the shade of the mulberry tree. Lots of birds to kill. Let’s hope Tabby and Digit are both raising hell in kitty heaven, but hopefully in different parts.
Ann in NJ says
There is no logic to who we love, we just love them. Digit loved you and you loved him. Mourning is the appropriate response. Very sorry for your loss.
Marietta says
We raise dogs – – we’ve raised many – – sold some – – kept many . . . buried more than we can stand, because they don’t live as long as we would like them to live . . . we love each one, hate/love some of them, . . . but respect and honor each one. They are “us” . . . our buds . . . our best friends, sometimes – – but always, our trav’lin’ companions. They “know” us, sometimes better than we know ourselves. We just damn luv ’em. .. .
Lyn says
I had tears in my eyes reading this post, so hard to say goodbye to a beloved pet
I broke my heart each time I have had to go thru it over the years
I am sure he/she is smiling down from up ther
Snow says
You were both well loved. Fiercely.
xoxoxoxox
Suzanne says
Oh I am so sorry!
Suzanne
KnittingInMind says
I am so very sorry.
I’ve always enjoyed hearing about Digit; thanks.
chandra says
Thank you for sharing your and Digit’s story with us. So very sorry for your loss 🙁
Mai Dang says
Rachael, I’m so sorry to hear about this. You have a way of making me either laugh really hard or cry my eyes out! Either way, your writing invokes so many emotions.
Petra says
I am so happy for your darling Digit-he was so lucky to spend his life with such a loving soul mate. The tragedy of our pets is that they don’t live as long as we do, so we have to pack as much loving as we can into the time we have. It seems to me he was one of the luckiest cats in the world.
Fly high Digit.
Mary in TN says
Oh Rachel, I had not read the blog for a couple weeks and now I am so sorry to read of Digit’s passing. We lost our little Daisy-lee in 2010 and now our Smokey-Josephine is really thin from chronic kidney disease and our Sammi was just diagnosed with the same thing 3 weeks ago so that is how my month has gone. Trying to keep them eating and giving them the CKD meds. You did everything you could for Digit and he knew that and he loved you….I pray the Rainbow Bridge is real and we will all see our furbabies when it is our time to cross over. So very sorry for your loss.
Anne says
Oh, Rachel. I am so sorry about Digit. They have a way of sticking to your heart that makes it so hard to see them go. We have said good-bye to both our housecats and one outside cat in the last year. But, I guess, the joy and happiness when holding a purring furball makes it possible to take in another. Hugs.
Deborah says
I was behind in reading my blogs so I’m just finding out about Digit. I’m so sorry. He was a wonderful little fucker. My thoughts are with you and Lala.
Ayesha Shaikh says
I stumbled onto your blog, looking for litterbox solutions and was hooked on Digit’s story. My daughter brought home random strays last year and we ended up keeping them. The one I love, Hazel, is a whiny dissatisfied malcontent who finds nothing in the world pleasing except my lap and belly rubs on demand. Imagine my horror when I realized I’d fallen in love with the damn thing. She’s young and healthy but there’s a part of me that lives in fear of her death. I can only imagine the pain of losing such a feline soulmate as Digit. Just from the posts I read he seems larger than life, the kind of cat that makes people say, I wish I knew a cat like that! Well really only cat lovers would say that, the rest of the world is cursing him to his face no doubt.
Long story short, I am so sorry for you loss. I hope the memories of him are now free from sorrow and pain and all there is, is the joy of having had him at all.