Decisions

I worked thirteen hours today, and spent the last two hours of my shift thinking about the bath I was going to take. I was gonna get home, run the bath, make some tea, grab the New Yorker, and hit it. Then sleep. Nothing else. I was TOO excited.

So I get in my car, switch on my phone, and promptly get talked into going to San Francisco. I mean, come on. Have I NO willpower at all?

Nah.

Besides, friend in crisis. How can I say no? Must counsel. Of course, if said counseling comes with a beer in the back garden and the opportunity for watching pool on a gorgeous warm fall night, it’s just something I have to deal with, no?

Didn’t so much counsel my friend as just listened and asked her to take her time. My little mama has drilled this one piece of advice into my head: You don’t have decide anything right now. And that’s usually the truth, isn’t it? If you HAVE to make a decision, it’s usually not the right time. Once the right time rolls around, you’ve already made the decision in your heart and mind and it’s not hard. It might suck, yeah. But it’s not hard to make.

(I realize, though, that I have NO problem with decisions. I have a gazillion other issues, but that ain’t one of ‘em. I think I’ve internalized Mom’s advice and I Just Don’t Think About It until I have to think about it, and by then it’s a done deal. )

Try it. It’s not so bad.

God, I feel like I have so many things I was thinking about writing and they’re all gone. Piffle. All right. It’s weird, I think, that my spell-check doesn’t highlight the word piffle (or Baryshnikov or Schwarzenegger, for that matter) but flags aargh and bleah.

Non-sequiturs abound. Off to bed it is, then. I’m home before midnight and I’ll still get eight hours of sleep. I agree with Marcia when she commented that she feels like she’s getting screwed when she has to go to bed on time – I want to stay up late and still be able to get enough sleep, screw the mathematics involved. When I was leaving the bar tonight, I kept saying regretfully to people, “I’m SO sorry, but I have to get up early tomorrow. I have to work, you know.” They just stared and nodded. Yeah, dumb-ass. So do we. This whole day-shift working thing has me thrown. It feels so WEIRD to have to be at work in the morning.

Hope your morning, whatever you’re doing, is not so very weird, and that you don’t have to make any decision more difficult than which pair of your favorite socks you’ll pick to wear today. (oh – and alison – yep, Digit’s home safely, thank god. Greta suggested he might very well come home with a grand fortune from the roulette table, enough to send me back to Venice, but he just dragged in minus a collar and some scraps of pride. He’s sound asleep now, snoring and pretending I’m not typing about him….. Poor baby…..)