Dear Reader Sparkle said in an email to me, “Your energy feels kinda funky behind the blog.” I have to agree. Standing behind this blog, looking out toward you, I can admit that it’s just plain ole fear that’s making me a little weird. I’m not normally scared. I have the normal fears, of course, of fire and nuclear weapons and being tied to a red-ant hill by a short man with a scrubby goatee, but day-to-day, facing big things, I’m usually pretty strong.
I’ve found the point at which I stop being strong and start shaking in my sandals: When I have to pack boxes in preparation for moving out of the apartment I’ve loved more than any other, with little to no guarantee that I have a place to move into at the end of the month. The loan docs still haven’t come through yet. They were supposed to be in on Friday. Nope. Monday was a holiday. No phone call yesterday. Today? Here’s hoping. Here’s hoping super hard hope. I think if I signed documents and had a wee bit more assurance they’re not going to find a financial glitch or a problem with the property, I could have fun packing. I really could. Moving into my first home? Fabulous. Bring it. But this not knowing? I’m scared, and I’m putting off the packing, NOT a good idea, when I need to move the big stuff by October 24th.
Oy. My aching head.
You know what’s good for this kind of stress? (Quit it. This is not that kind of a blog.) (Okay, yeah, it helps. Happy? Really, people.) Good for stress: Ice cream, and a lot of it. Running (it really felt like I was training for Hawaii yesterday, 85 degrees and humid, even down by the water). Knitting Cromarty. I’m almost finished with this bad boy, and somehow the high level of difficulty is what my hands want to work on. I suppose it’s distraction in a way — stockinette allows me to worry, even if it’s only low-grade. A gajillion teeny-tiny cables make me focus for a few minutes.
I’ll keep you posted, I promise.
Now, pics of the Knit-Out. I don’t need to summarize what happened, ’cause my fabulous fellows have already done it for me. Go see Joanna, Celia, Nathania, Emily, Christine, and Silvia , who all do a great job of telling it like it was.
A group shot:
Won-Ju, Kira, and Rachel:
Nathania, bein’ surprised her Secret Pal tracked her to the Cafe:
We’re jealous; she got a GOOD Secret Pal (and I know who it is, neener neener neener):
Mystery Guest revealed!
Me’n’Won-Ju, Lala‘s wonderful, beautiful sister-in-law:
There were a coupla shots of me and Lala, and lemme tell ya. Y’ain’t gonna see ’em. Celia’s shot of my forty-seven double chins is enough for me. I don’t need to validate that on my own blog. Nuh-uh.
I’m immensely cheered now. What will be, will be. If I get the condo, good. If I don’t, something better is out there. At this moment, my heart knows that’s right, and I think it was thinking about my knitblog pals that made me realize that. Seriously. Look where the heart leads, after all, yes?
Assured MWAH!
Hey! If they’re talking loan documents, you’ve got it! It’s YOURS!!!!!!!
Good luck with everything today Rachael, I’ll be thinking of you!
We know it will all be fine, of course, but if for some reason things go terribly wrong, you should come live with me and Billy. I think Iris even has a cat for you.
(It will be fine. It will be fine.)
XO
Hey, I have 47 double chins too. D’you think we were separated at birth? Remember, we do have similar knitting styles too. 🙂
Sending good loan vibes your way!
Kissy kissy
Any major event is punctuated by that worry and doubt. That’s how you know it’s *real* and is gonna be a big ass deal in your life. Believe me…. marriage, kids, divorce, moving into my own first apartment, moving in with Kevin… all these things have brought the same fear. It’s normal. You’re normal (well, mostly… the not normal is the good kind in your case). And soon we’ll be celebrating your housewarming. Big hugs and lots of love!
Any major event is punctuated by that worry and doubt. That’s how you know it’s *real* and is gonna be a big ass deal in your life. Believe me…. marriage, kids, divorce, moving into my own first apartment, moving in with Kevin… all these things have brought the same fear. It’s normal. You’re normal (well, mostly… the not normal is the good kind in your case). And soon we’ll be celebrating your housewarming. Big hugs and lots of love!
fingers crossed baby!
On account of being a lawyer and all, I know something about real property closings. The lender’s docs are almost always late. If you are unbearably nerve wracked, call the escrow officer and ask if there is a problem. She might be willing to call the lender for you, or (it’s your lender) you could call the loan officer and ask if all is well. If you have a committment and the appraisal came in high enough, there shouldn’t be a problem. However, the “practically always late” thing remains. You might line up a place or two to stay for a few nights 🙁 Kim
Yes, you should line up a place to stay for a few days just in case. There are lots of people in blog land and the real world who would help you out. I say you hold a contest! 🙂
Yesterday I had this brief flash that we were going to move someday, and it COMPLETELY STRESSED ME OUT. I know how much you detest moving, too, so I feel for ya. We will have a kick ass time on Monday, and I’ll buy you some ice cream!
you know what’s weird about that 47 double chin shot? you don’t have those in real life. they say that the camera never lies…but the camera does. the camera lies like a rug i tell you! bastard camera.
alrighty girlie — i’m sending you anti-anxiety thoughts here. ohmmmm.
i thought of you this morning by the way when al roker told me (yes, told me personally) how hot it was in your neck of the woods. it’s in the high 60’s here today 😉
It’s Won-Ju! It’s Kira! It’s Rachel! I met these people! Awesome.
Breathe deep. It’s yours. You’re moving to a place that’s all yours. Rejoice. There’s plenty of time to pack.
here’s hoping all goes well! soon you’ll be blogging about the big move into your new home! take care!
I was (briefly) a real estate agent, and the thing you need to remember is that Everyone involved wants it to happen! Including the bank! They are all working to move it forward, even if their pace isn’t what you need or deserve.
My fingers are crossed and I’m thinking positive thoughts for you…Best of luck!