Once upon a time, I fell in love with dogs. Well, really, I fell in love with my future wife Lala, and she had two dogs and I fell in love with them, too, and then suddenly, the world bloomed with dogs! It’s like when you buy a blue Nissan and then you see blue Nissans everywhere – I finally realized that dogs weren’t just mildly cute, but they were AWESOME and EVERYWHERE and after a while, I wanted one of my own.
We went to shelters one day. I was gonna get me a dog. I met Clara. I liked her a lot. We decided to think about her, so we went to breakfast. In the middle of breakfast, halfway across Oakland, I suddenly fell in love with her. “She’s mine!” I realized. “We have to go. Now! What if someone else gets her?”
We made it in time (there was another family looking at her then, but we got there first. So ha).
We took her home. The next morning, Lala and I were sitting on the back porch, eating bagels. The back door was open. Clara ran out and past us, a bagel held in her lower lip, the container of cream cheese in her upper lip.
Lala looked at me and said, “Your dog is so dumb. She forgot the knife.”
Clara was the nicest living being I’ve ever met. I never saw her get mad even once. She chewed up the whole house as a young dog, true. But she got over that (although she never gave up a chance to chew and rip up important papers).
But with people and other animals, she was the most empathetic dog I’ve ever seen. She’d play rough with big dogs, and softly with small ones. Once, a baby friend was visiting our house. The baby was propped up on the couch. She was old enough to sit and hold things but not walking yet. She dropped her teddy bear and it rolled off the couch. Clara picked it up and set it in front of her gently, nudging it just enough so the baby could grab it, and then they continued this game for half an hour.
This is how she played with little dogs:
Then we got her a cat (or really, we got two kittens, and Waylon chose her for his very own. Clara was bemused by this.
For many years, Waylon was usually wet. This is why:
Once, we were very broke. Lala really wanted a copy of the magazine The Shambala Sun. She bought it. She came home and put it on the counter. She walked away for five minutes, and when she returned, it was in pieces, torn to bits silently. Lala was mad. That was seven whole dollars, wasted. Torn up on the floor. Our friend Rachel O. heard this story. She subscribed Clara to the magazine, and to this day, Clara Hehu gets credit card offers and Buddhist donation appeals.
Her favorite place was the Albany Bulb, where she turned into a Sand Monster. Nothing made her happier than swimming and then rolling in the sand.
Clara was in my first book, Abigail’s dog in How to Knit a Love Song. In the American version, I forgot to get her out of Abigail’s truck before a cliff collapsed and TO THIS DAY, I get worried emails about Clara. (We caught it for the Australian version and left her safely tied to a tree, so these emails only come from Americans and Canadians.)
I’ve always, always been able to write back and say that Clara is okay. That she’s real. That she’s snoring safely behind my chair.
Because Clara was not only my best dog, but she’s also been my coworker for the last four years. Every other animal in this house loves Lala best, including Dozy (it just happens), but not Clara. She and I belonged to each other. Always near me, in these last few weeks, she’s been even more clingy, unwilling to let me out of her sight.
We ran hundreds of miles together. When I’d take a walk break, I’d say, “Walk.” Then I’d say, “Scritch,” and she’d raise her head and lean toward me. She was just the right height for me to scritch her ears without leaning over.
Lord, could she RUN.
She got sick about a month ago. Tumor in the stomach (that looked like a simple infection at first). We tried everything. She hated getting pills, but she never snapped or bit or even snarled.
Today, we took her to the beach she loved the best.
This is when she realized we were near the beach, and not the vet:
We had a wonderful (and excruciating) last walk. (Look, SF is visible behind her, as is the Golden Gate Bridge).
Clara was made of grace. When I think of the word, which I love, I see her face. She gave, and she loved, and she napped, and she just was.
I was gone for work for 9 days, and I just got home two days ago. When I got home, she was sleeping in front of the door, something she never did. She’d moved herself there right about the time my airplane had touched down, Lala said.
She’d waited for me to come home.
Goodnight, my sweetest girl. Run fast, and run free.
Clara was such a wonderful dog. I’m glad that you all had a nice final day together.
Oh sweet Clara. I was a reader of an earlier version of this blog (glass house something? Then yarn something?) and remember when Clara first joined your family. She was very like our Molly and Billie (except that our girls didn’t like deep water!). Sleep in peace dear Clara and if you happen to run into Molly or Billie on the other side of the rainbow, please give them a nuzzle and a wrestle from me.
Heaven bless our dogs.
Oh, Rachael, I’m so very sorry for your loss. Having lost RANI back in August, I know the hole your One True Love leaves. *hugs* be gentle with yourself.
I’m so very sorry your Clara has crossed the rainbow bridge, and yet so very happy you had each other❤️ It’s comforting to think of all the doggies having the best time together while waiting for their people to join them.
Love and Hugs to you and Lala. Sweet Clara sounds like she was such a wonderful companion.
Fiercely gentle hugs.
I’m so sorry, Rachael. I remember when you brought Clara home. I was tickled to read about how you felt toward her, your first dog. I’d had so many; it was nice to witness that first love through someone else’s eyes. You were lucky to have had her, and she was lucky to have you.
So sorry Rachel. Clara has crossed the rainbow bridge waiting till she sees you again. She is running in the color green and playing in the waves and sand.
Oh, Rachael, I’m so sorry to hear about Clara. She sounds like such a grand dog. Those videos were so wonderful! Glad you have those.❤ Sending you big hugs.
❤️❤️❤️ she waited for you. Biggest hugs to you.
I’m so sorry. Dogs, especially our one special dog, are the very best in life. This part is the worst. Much love to you and Lala.
What a sweet girl she was. My heart aches for you.
Such beautiful words for a very lovely companion. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Oh Rachael, I’m so sorry. What a good, sweet, perfect girl. I’m so glad you all had each other for as long as you did. Sending you so much love.
So terribly, terribly sad to hear this. Losing part of yourself is so hard, but you will never forget her, and she knows how much she was loved
Ohhhh. Rachael. Clara. How wonderful to know one another’s heart so well. What an amazing gift you gave each other.
Petting every pup I see in honor of Clara….and because I can’t help myself but you know.
A heartwarming tribute for a lovely friend. I’m so so sorry for your loss Rachael. Dogspeed, Clara.
Oh I’m so sorry for your loss. You had such a special relationship with Clara and I hope that brings you comfort.
I am deeply sorry for the loss of your beautiful Clara.
Such a beautiful testament to your girl. So happy you had each other. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I’m so sorry. What a beautiful tribute.
Sending so much love, Rachael. Clara will always be the BEST girl.
What a beautiful tribute to your best girl. I believe Angel Clara will live on in your heart forever. Sending so much love.
It never gets easy to let them go. Never.
May her memory be a blessing to you, always.
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I too know about best first dogs. Here’s hoping Clara will run into Juneau for a good romp on a heavenly beach! Sending virtual hugs of comfort and love.
Susan and Tala
Delurking to say that I’m so so sorry, Rachael. I read your old blog – the knitting one – and only recently starting looking at this one occasionally. It’s funny that I looked at it today, because I certainly remember Clara – and the kitten twins! You know that you did the right thing, but it’s always hard. Sending love and hugs.
I know there are no words. But Clara, your precious One True Love will always be there with you and you will see her again, I know that.
What a beautiful tribute to Clara. She was a beautiful dog. Hugs to all of you. She will be missed.
I am so very sorry Rachael and Lala. We will never forget the tales of Clara, definitely one of the sweetest dogs on the planet. Been there twice. It hurts. Sending love and hugs to you both.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful memories of your best girl. I shed tears of laughter and sorrow. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Hugs to you and Lala,
Donna Soohoo
Just all my love and heart to you, sweet Rachael. Biggest hugs. Xoxo
Re-reading How to Knit a Love Song to remind myself of those heady days of New Dogness. Your eulogy is a really beautiful tribute to someone who clearly took a large chunk of your heart with her when she left. I’m glad Clara got to be YOUR dog.
Seriously in tears right now. Not sure if I missed this back in January, or commented elsewhere. Clara was a beautiful dog. She definitely had her soul in her eyes. While you were so blessed to have found her, she was also blessed to have you as her person. Life does go on without them, but they always have a piece of our hearts. I’m sure Clara is happily running free now, thinking of you. Hugs.
People that have never experienced the love a dog brings to your life are truly missing out on one of the greatest pleasures in life. Humans may walk away from you and hurt you; a dog never will. They are always there for you when you need a shoulder to cry on or they make you laugh. We are richer for having them in our lives. You were her human — she picked you. And you made her life richer for being her human friend.
Thank you so much, Jackie. <3
Of course, like everyone else, I am weeping over a dog I never met because she waited for you at the door in her last moments. Beautiful, sweet, and very sad. Rest well Clara. You’ve earned it.