Day Eight

It’s day eight of NaNoWriMo and I haven’t started the memoir I meant to write this month.

I’m actually liking this method of doing NaNo this year–I’m using NaNo as a challenge to take myself less seriously. I really meant to start today (I couldn’t before this – Monday and Tuesday were 14-hour days of grading and teaching) and I didn’t. I still could today, this I know. I have lots of work, but I could squeeze in 30 minutes of writing before I go out tonight.

But will I? Probably not.

To be totally honest, I’m enjoying being the bad girl. Day Eight! No words! I’m “failing!” And it feels good, to lean into it, and to know that I’m still a writer. I’m just fine. I wrote 60,000+ words last month. It’s not even like I’m out of practice. But seriously, if I hadn’t written a word in months, I’d still be okay.

I said it on the Writer’s Well podcast this week: I’m just fine, as I am. If I win the Pulitzer in the next ten minutes, I’ll be just as fine then as I am now. If the New York Times writes a review about how I’m the worst writer in the world tomorrow, I’ll be equally okay.

This whole I’m-okay thing is WEIRDING ME OUT and also making me feel pretty content. I blame meditating for 30+ minutes a day for the last five weeks. (I wrote my last Patreon essay about the experience. It’s so good I’m running with it and still doing it.)

Maybe I’ll start my NaNo tomorrow! Maybe not!