Today is the third anniversary of my self-employment.
Honestly, y’all, I didn’t know if I would still be self-employed three years after starting this full-time gig. When I quit my day job, which I’d had for 17 years, I wondered if I would have to go back to it, tail between my legs. In fact, for the first two months after I left, I stayed on as a part-time employee, available to fill-in for emergencies.
I only ever went in twice, and after the second time, I got the mother of all migraines. As I left that day, I told my boss to complete my severance paperwork.
And I’ve never regretted that, and not once.
I honestly can’t believe that I get to do this for a living. And such a good living! I am good with words but bad with numbers, so it wasn’t until I got my taxes done last week that I realized I’d broken six figures in 2018!
Now, the majority of that is hustle, not book money. You can hear exactly how I made all my 2018 money in this podcast.
I said in that podcast that I made $10,000 from retreats, which is true, but that was net. I actually grossed $30,000, and that’s what put me over into the six-figure bracket.
There are people, I know, who think I’m gauche to talk about my actual numbers (they have felt free to tell me!). But that’s completely okay. There should be more transparency in this industry, and God knows, if I was just starting out, I’d be looking for people to tell me the truth about what they made and how they struggled and how they were victorious. I’d also want to know about their failures, which is why I feel free to tell you about mine, too!
And truth: I only brought home about $42k after expenses and taxes, but I needed to make $36k to survive, and that’s more! Huzzah! (This is also transparency. I recently heard a 7-figure writer talk about his income, and I wondered how much he spent on ads – I spent less than $3k because I get nervous about ads. I should probably be a bit more aggressive. Someday.)
Mostly, I’m just so grateful. I’m grateful to the very middle of each of my bones. I’m soaking in and made of gratitude.
This morning, I wrote 4000 words in the Mills College tea shop. That was above my goal, so I felt pretty good about it. Knowing that this was my third anniversary, I had left my day pretty open aside from the necessary writing. I went to Trader Joe’s and bought a lot of groceries. (Aside, I’ve lost 12 pounds since last month’s prediabetic scare. Turns out I’m not prediabetic, but you definitely shouldn’t mainline three Cadbury Creme eggs an hour before you get a cholesterol test. And I have to mention I credit most of the weight loss to the fact that I’m tracking my food intake for the first time in my life. What gets measured you manage.)
Then I kind of had nothing to do.
Usually my days are booked from literal sunup to literal sundown. I’m a planner, and I like to know how I’m going to spend each hour. That doesn’t allow for much spontaneity, but it does mean I’m productive, which I have to be when I hustle for so many different income streams.
Today though? I called a best friend after I bought approximately 40 tons of broccoli from TJ’s, and sat at her kitchen table, drinking tea. We talked about books and life and the world, and I thought to myself, “this is part of my job. I can’t write if I don’t live.”
So I’m grateful, so very grateful for every moment I’m given. As I write this, Dozy is sitting on my lap and licking off my coconut-oil hand cream. Clara is snoring. Soon, I’m going to take a nap, because I have time to do that today.
I don’t take any of this for granted. And that makes it all the more lovely.
Happy three to me!