Archives for April 2010

I'm looking for some advice, friends.

The migraines, they are getting worse. I've come to (almost) the end of the road with the doctors. And here and now, I'm going to lay it out for you, because I have very little shame when it comes to spilling things on the blog (HI!), but I do understand that some are squeamish, so look away if you need to, I won't mind. This might be too much info for some. In which case, please hop over to Hipster Puppies and have a fabulous day.

My adorable, smart primary care doctor has done what she can and has sent me away to specialists. My neurologist has ruled my migraines to be simply hormonal in nature. He's put me on Topomax, which is fine, but I don't really like being on it, but I also don't hate it. I'm on a high-enough dose, don't want to go higher, but it doesn't make me feel stupid; it just makes my fingers tingle sometimes and I have a hard time staying warm (something I'd never struggled with before).

My ob-gyn has done almost all she can, too. I have tried every single birth control out there and nothing has helped. Progesterone, both simulated and natural (even the plant-based creams) don't help and sometimes make it worse. She says, after five years of trying, that we're down to two options, neither very good. (See, I also have endometriosis, and we're dealing with that, so I've got all sorts of monthly pain, ugh.)

#1 Hysterectomy, but they won't remove ovaries at my age (37), nor would I really want them to, so even if they went that route, the headaches likely wouldn't stop, since they come from hormone production.

#2 Drug-induced menopause (like Lupron) – which would be great, except for the side-effects, and except for the fact that my doc said I could only be on it for a year, and then I'd have to go off of it. Hearing this, I burst into tears.

I'm seriously at the end of my rope. I have a hard time talking or thinking about it, actually. Lately, I've been getting four or five migraines a month, either at my cycle or at the middle of it, and they're debliitating.

What I don't need: Advice on pain management. I have Fioricet and Midrin (the triptain family of meds don't help me). These two pills sometimes help, sometimes they don't. Whatever. I get through it.

What I'm looking for (kind of desperately): advice from women who have gotten through this. My lovely ob-gyn is sending me to a Pain Management clinic within Kaiser as her next step, and I'm hoping for good things from them (but no more drugs! Hate drugs! I don't want to mask all this, I want to get rid of it).

Things I'm thinking of:

A radical change in diet? I have tried acupuncture with limited success. Exercise? Meditation? More yoga? Running (which sometimes makes it worse, or used to, when I was running more). OH GOD DON'T MAKE ME CHANGE THIS MUCH! But honestly, I can't do this much longer. This much pain a month, between the migraines, endo, and cramps, is too much. I try not to complain a lot here on the blog or twitter or FB, so I apologize if this is out of left-field, but you all know a hell of a lot about just about everything. What has helped you or someone you know?

With all my heart, I thank you in advance.

*Edited to add: I'm 37. I don't want kids. If I *DID* kick and scream and MAKE them take both ovaries in a hysterctomy (although my doctor said they wouldn't — she also said I'm in the driver's seat), what direct experience do you have with that, if any? Besos.

** More: I'm feeling distinctly hopeful after finding this book: Heal Your Headache on Amazon. I've never seen more positive reviews of a book, EVER. I sent it to my Kindle and have already read a quarter of it, and I've made another appointment online with my neurologist (this is all done in the middle of the night! God bless technology!).

*** NEVER GONNA STOP ADDING TO THIS! The end of the night, I've read most of the book, and just found this synopsis on NPR.org. I think I'm going to give his method (elimination diet, no pain pills) a try and I'll let you know how it goes, before I try anything more radical.

There are hummingbirds trying to feed at the iron gate in front of the house. I'm pretty sure it's not going that well.

I went ziplining yesterday. The darling Canadians set it up for San Francisco (it's free, for the next nine days, in Justin Herman Plaza), and even though there was quite a wait, it was WORTH IT.

From the top, looking out:

 

Me, getting ready to go:

(My hands were shaking — I was more scared than I thought I would be. It's only because I rock climb and trust harnesses that I was okay, I think.)

Looking at what I would step off into:

And then THIS IS ME! I'm the close one, and sister Bethany is the far one.

 

And this is my favorite one:

You can see by then I'm hanging out and loving it. I wanted to stretch my arms and legs out and FLY. And I did.

And then, when we got down and met Lala on the ground, I went and bought an iPad.

Ahem. More flying.

 

This is the one splurge I've bought myself with book money. (This and my Danskos!) A treat. And I'll use it to write — the Pages program makes sending yourself .doc documents a SNAP. Ohmygoodness, so easy. Unbelievable. I tried it and my mouth literally dropped open. And I already own the wireless keyboard that it talks to, and and and…. it's a writer's dream come true. 

Plus the games are so damn cool.

(For those who want to know, I got the 32GB, and I didn't worry about waiting for the WiFi + 3G, because even with that opt-in/out AT&T plan, it's still AT&T, and I do NOT like them, and I don't plan on giving them my money. There are enough wireless hotspots in the world that my little iPad (nicknamed Eliza) will be very happy without it.)

Hoo. Big day.

And tonight! Two of my all-time favorite bands are playing, Cheetahs on the Moon and Rube Waddell in a big double-header at Bottom of the Hill, and tomorrow I'm reading at A Verb for Keeping Warm, so GOOD TIMES.

(East Bay is pig latin, don'tcha know.)

I'm reading this Saturday at A Verb for Keeping Warm, and I would REALLY love to see you.
2703 7th St #147, Berkeley.

The reading's at 2pm, and then we'll just hang out for a bit, I think. They'll have books for sale, as well as great fiber and yarn and there might even be light snackage and there will be plenty of laughing. There always is.

Okay, business is over. Now I have to confess something.

You know how I feel about NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). And by association (let's call it that), I have that tiny intellectual crush (let's call it intellectual) on Chris Baty, its founder. I've confessed it here before. It's not a national secret.

However, then he had to go and bring up the knitting. And there is now documented fiber-talk. Ha!

/swoon.

Drum roll, please!

For the $25 Barnes&Noble gift certs:

Peacecat30
RC C
Sarah St.

And for the Love Song Sweater:

Acluther!

 - Edited to add – Acluther is Anna, and it's her birthday TODAY. What a fun present! And I'll get to give it to her in person when I meet her for the first time in Maryland at MDSW! I heart the internet, dudes.

If you have any interest in cinema verite, here's the actual drawing. This is me, from bed, up and at the desk. It's not pretty, but it's GRITTY and REAL, people. (Snerk.) This is what a writer looks like. (No, really. I wear this sweater every day. Every. Single. Day.)

At last, SOMEONE does. Finally, a review that really gets at the REAL heart of what my book is about. Here's an excerpt of Lynn's exceptionally insightful review:

How to Knit a Love Song  by Rachael Herron is a novel with a
little bit of everything. It’s primarily a book about emergency dispatchers,
with a few love scenes, sheep, trucks and yarn thrown in to attract a broader
audience. Don’t mistake me; those sections of the novel are not slighted in the
least, but the scenes with the emergency dispatchers were what kept me riveted to
the pages. I could easily picture the dispatcher clutching her headset, focused
on extracting all the details of the call, and with lightning quick responses,
calling in the services that would be needed to bring about a happy ending.

Yes. Really, it's a ponderous tome about emergency services, difficult to parse, and I'm glad Lynn was able to get to the heart of the matter. It should be noted she posted it on April 1st. I suppose that might have something to do with it. Ahem.

A winner has been drawn for Adrienne's book, Sweater Quest: CCR in MA – I've emailed you privately, congrats! The BIG DRAWING for the sweater and the bookstore gift certs will occur on Sunday.

And that, my ducks, is all for now. I have a Digit on my lap who is demanding all my attention.

knowing every day that you would make the same decision you made then.

Four years and counting. You want to do it again soon, lovey? It's been a while since the last wedding. I'm ready. I love you. Happy anniversary.