Archives for August 2007

Still on the mend! This is being blogged from my writing/yarn room, from my chair, which feels like a big step from being in bed.

I have learned some things.

I am a bad patient. Or, really, I’m not that bad, I try to be as nice as possible about it, but once I am feeling better, I am hard to keep down.

This is because I have such a — I don’t really know what to call it. It’s not really a guilt complex, I don’t feel GUILTY that I haven’t done laundry or cleaned the house, it’s just that I have such a hard time NOT doing those things.

And it’s not an exuberant work ethic — I feel it is okay for me to relax. I know it is. I know it is perfectly acceptable, especially while recovering from surgery, to be lazy. It’s not that I feel I have to be doing something, all the time.

I just don’t know HOW to be lazy. As soon as I start, just lying on the couch with the TV on, nothing in my hands, my brain fills up with things I should/could do instead.

So my new thing, while I’m on the mend, is to pretend I’m on vacation. Therefore, no guilt. Don’t have to work. Don’t have to clean the house (but I did clean the litterboxes. Time, tide, and kitty litter, you know).

Of course, this morning I wrote a list of all the things I’d like to do on this little "vacation," and it filled a whole page. I think there’s something wrong with that.

But today, I think I’d just really like to make one of these great shopping bags based on a plastic bag’s template. Ain’t it cute?

Even has its own carrying pocket so you can put it in your purse.

All right. Off to try not Do Things. I’m going to try to Enjoy Things. Yes.

1. I went out! I actually left the house! First time in eight days. Yesterday, to the coffee shop, with Lala and all three dogs, which just about kilt me, but I did it. The pain has reached a manageable level finally, but now the fever has kicked in, which it likes to do around day 8-10. (Post-op talk, skip if you’re bored: Talked to the doc — he said the reason this is such a big surgery with such a long recovery time is that they took SO MUCH — got the tonsillar structure right down to the nodes, but with that comes a bunch of close-by muscle (and possibly nerve, the right side of the tongue is still numb).) So I enjoyed half a cup of green tea before I felt like crap and we had to move along, but it was a nice outing.

2. I went out again, today! Yesterday was really a rehearsal to see how I’d do today, and it went swimmingly! Maia had a spin-in (email her to get on the the list) and it was DELIGHTFUL. I had just enough voice for an hour and a half to talk to lovely people, some of whom I knew, some I didn’t. There was quiche! Lots of it! And I tell ya, recovering from your second tonsillectomy, for your first meal out of the house, make it brunch. Quiche is the perfect look-I’m-eating-real-food food. And Janine was there! Everyone knows I admire Janine SO much, and then she goes and drops something like, "back when I teaching Hebrew…." With my horrible memory I possibly knew this a long time ago, but I think I would remember such a cool thing. Wow, she is so cool.

See? Spinning! And I got to see Celia for a moment, and Brooke, and lots of other nice people, and I got to have FUN again, not lying in bed or on a couch. Oh, yeah.

And I spun up some nice baby camel/tussah silk that is inSANEly soft. I haven’t spun in so long, and it was immensely satisfying.

Know what else is satisfying?

3. Digit got his cone off! This happened about an hour ago, and he hasn’t stopped washing once. (Well, he had the cone on for almost 5 weeks. As Lala just said, that’s a dirty, dirty butt.)  I’m keeping a close eye on him, he could still rip open some of the softer areas where the stitches and staples were if he’s too rough, and the cone will be popped right back on if that happens, but I’m hoping for the best.

And he’s GROWLING at himself. It’s quite funny. It’s as if he’s so PISSED that he just found out that whole back region has been shaved and HE WASN’T TOLD.

He also growls maniacally if I try to touch him while he’s washing. Watch (the noise that’s kind of low is him growling his little growl-box off):

Goddamnit, someone shaved my ass!

So all is well! I’m tired now, and Dr. Lala thinks I should rest for the remainder of the day. I act tough, but I think she’s right. It’s dark and overcast and almost threatening rain today, and I’m sad for Lala that she has to play a huge barbeque/party right down on the Oakland marina today, very sad for her, but I’m happy for me that I’m going to stay right here in bed and watch netflix movies and knit socks. I might move to the couch later and do a little more spinning. Who knows? It will be nice, though. Yesterday and the day before were rough. I HATE it when I’m well enough to feel like I should be active but not well enough to actually BE so. Truly unpleasant. So much nicer to be able to do a little something and then rest the rest of the justified.

Or the un-coned. Digit is my MAN! 

Dramamine made me feel normal again, like I wasn’t hungover AND drunk on a boat in a squall. And we had it in the cabinet at home, didn’t even have to get someone to get any for me.

I can tell I’m getting better because I’m getting antsy again. I tend to get antsy about five minutes after believing I’m starting to feel better. It is infinitely frustrating for those around me, because I do tend to want to build a better house around the one I’m in right when what I should be doing is resting, not digging out hammers and building supplies.

(A simple solution to this, I’ve found, is to read or watch decluttering pr0n — Lala’s letting me read her new book, It’s All Too Much, An Easy Plan for Living a Richer Life with Less Stuff. Do you know how much this stuff excites me? And then it falls out of my head as I drop into a nap, better than dropping off the ladder as I try to clean ceilings — do any of you have a fave declutter show that I can TiVo? There’s was a British one I used to love, but I can’t remember its name, and I’m not sure what’s on nowadays.)

Yesterday, I didn’t do too well. Because of the nausea I hadn’t eaten anything all day, so about noon-time, I knew I should be hungry, but wasn’t. I looked in the freezer and found some frozen ravioli that I thought didn’t sound too revolting, so I put on water to boil. While the water was boiling, I thought I would do some dishes. That was my first mistake. Not quite strong enough for dishes yet, because they exhausted me half-way through and left me in a full-body sweat. But no worries, I’d eat and feel better.

Got out the pasta sauce from the fridge, not sure if it’s still good, let’s open and have a sniff, and the WHOLE JAR flies out of my wet hands and lands on the tiles, exploding into a gazillion-trillion tiny little shards of red glass. It sprays from one end of the kitchen to the other, from the sink to the back wall. Even hit the ceiling.

I, of course, because of the state I’m already in, burst into tears and start cleaning. The dogs think lapping at shards of tomato glass is their new favorite hobby, and I’m SCREAMING at them, which doesn’t go well for anyone, because I’m not very loud, tonsil-less this way, and it’s mighty painful, but my body language must have been devastating, because they dropped to the ground under the kitchen table and stayed there, tails between legs. Normally not so good at the Stay, them. Even the kittens listened to me, and I’m not sure they’ve EVER heard me before.

I was in big trouble with Lala about this, doing too much. So I’m determinedly Not Doing Too Much. I’m going to read and watch more TV and nap a bunch more today. She has people coming over tonight but I am NOT CLEANING THE HOUSE. Even though it’s all I want to do. But I won’t. It’s her gathering, not mine, and I will merely take a shower (this is a big deal) and wear something befitting an invalid, and flit through the living room at times, looking gaunt and possibly wan, if I can pull either of those off (I don’t think I can, but forgive a girl for trying, right?).

HaHA! I am coming BACK!

Digit is doing great, but very sadly, still has the cone. They took the stitches out yesterday, but the skin is still raw around the two spots they did, so they want him to wear it a while longer, poor bub.

Whew. And that’s all I got.

It’s always like having this long, deep, SMART well in my backyard — I can toss a question in, and you all answer me in so many wonderful ways. You know everything! Thank you, all of you.

The nausea is not quite settled yet — living on ginger tea right now, but I just called my pharmacist and she said I could take benadryl with the Lortab (you clever ones, you, who suggested this) — it’s gonna make me SLEEPY but I could do with a little sleep right now. The doc upped my dosage schedule to every two hours instead of every four, with hopes that would help. I think it has, a bit, but right now I feel like I’m on a boat, and I’m not that fond of being on boats.

This CAN’T be interesting to anyone but me and Lala, and really, she has to say that, doesn’t she? So instead, what I saw on my bed yesterday (Digit was there, too, of course, but we have visitors often):

Willie, with a Harriet backdrop.

And look away if you mindless assless chaps on a cat, but how cute is this sleeping pose?

I am miserable. But instead of whinging, I’m looking for a little help this time. I’m on this codeine/acetominphen syrup called Lortab. I called yesterday to see if I could take something else instead, but this is the only thing the doc wants me on, and indeed, when I missed the dose by an hour yesterday, the increase in pain level was intense. So even if I’m not noticing that it’s doing a good job of pain management, I guess it is doing something.

But the other thing it’s doing is making me QUEASY. I am nauseated most of the time now, and I feel like I’ve got the spins, combined with a constant mild heartburn.

Any easy holistic ideas to help me? Emphasis on the easy — if it requires brewing something in a something-else, I won’t do it. I am eating religiously when I take the dose (every four to five hours), trying to get some protein in, scrambled eggs or chicken broth or tofu. I’m drinking enough, I think. I want crackers, but unless they’re soaked in soup, they’re too pointy. Any good ideas on what could help with the nausea?

The saddest thing is that I started Harry Potter yesterday, got about half-way in, and I’m too sick to go on reading it. When I doze off and have those feverish nausea dreams, the last thing you want is Harry Potter anxiety, flashes of spells and potions, and Hermione and Ron going the wrong way and I can’t catch them, and OH NO! Ick. Going to find a light romance instead. Very sad. (And now I have Black Magic, "oh what a spin I’m in" running through my head.)

And still? This continues to be the best medicine:

    Tomorrow the cone comes off! Hooray!