Y’all are amazing. If anyone out there has problems with another person (as if), please scroll down to yesterday’s post and hit the comments. I have the best, smartest, nicest, sexiest readers in the land, and I can prove it. So there.
During a conversation with my mother today, I finally figured out how to describe a typical conversation with The Owner Who Drives Me Crazy. It goes something like this:
Me – "Please have some chocolate cake."
Him – "But I want some chocolate cake! You don’t understand, I really want chocolate cake. I want it so much. I wish you would listen to me. No matter what I do, I can’t get any cake. I wish I could have some cake. I really, really want chocolate cake."
Me – "Here’s some chocolate cake. How big a piece do you want?"
Him – "You don’t get it! I want chocolate cake! Can you even understand me? If you stopped trying to interrupt me — no! Don’t you interrupt me when I’m trying to tell you something that is imperative for all of us to understand. I want chocolate cake, and I’m going to do anything I can to get it. You should be aware that perhaps legal counsel is the best way to persuade you to give me chocolate cake. I wish you would just listen to me once in a while."
Me – "Hell, pass the cake to me, if he’s not going to eat it. And buddy, you can have some if you want some. I’ll put it in front of you"
Him – "No, I just wanted chocolate cake. That’s all. But never mind. I see how it’s always going to be."
But really, if you have that person in your life that makes you want to stick a fork in your eyeball just so you get some peace and quiet at the hospital, please go read those comments. Bless y’all and thanks.
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