Hey! I’m in Curve magazine! Go get it! I wrote an article about me’n’Lala visiting Venice for their travel issue, now on stands. Borders carries it, I know, as do most Barnes and Nobles, and any independent bookstore that carries Out and Advocate will have it, too. It’s a lesbian magazine, you should know. Just in case your husband wonders why it’s in your bedside reading, you can have something planned. I’m on pages 40-41. Woot!
I was a dork at Stitches, as usual. I had a BLAST. I got there around 1pm, and just wandered around, moving between wildly excited and completely overwhelmed. It’s kind of being a kid again at Disneyland, isn’t it? I want! I want everything, and look at this, and what about that, and that’s my favorite thing EVER, and I’M TIRED I DON’T WANT TO BE HERE ANYMORE and oooooh, pretty, I want that!
Luckily, I ran into readers who were awesome, and said hello, and made me step off my merino-high every once in a while. I only took a couple of pictures, and none turned out but this one, but it’s great:
That’s Bonnie and Bonnie. (By the way, when you organize yourselves like this in the wild, I really appreciate it.) These two made me laugh my ass off and regain some human composure again, so I really appreciate them.
However. There was one highly embarrassing moment I’ll tell you about.
Nancy and Adriana were staying there in the hotel, and we’d been up to their room to drop off some bags (ahem) before dinner. We went back down in the elevator and exited into the lobby. It was swank. Nancy said, "Look at all this high-tech stuff! Virtual concierge!"
I looked over and saw that there was indeed a concierge desk, and behind it, up on the wall, was a huge TV screen with a woman’s face on it, who appeared to be looking into the room.
A computer-concierge! I thought that was just too nifty, so I literally ran up to the desk and smiled and waved at the computer image. It smiled and waved back! I said, "Hello!"
It said, "Hello. Can I help you?"
I turned around and said to my compatriots, "Look! She looks so real!"
"Can I help you?"
I goofed a little more, hoping to get the computer to echo my motions, like it had with the waving.
"Um, is there something I can do for you?"
It hit me suddenly, the ugly truth. "You’re real, aren’t you?"
"Yes, I’m real. What can I do for you?"
"Gahggh hrm abbat SEEYOULATERSORRY!"
And I ran away. She was real, and there had been a camera somewhere pointed at ME, so she could see ME, and I could see HER, and it wasn’t fancy-hi-tech computer-concierging, it was just a remote employee, and wasn’t that just like me? I wonder how many times that’s happened to her? I think it would be funny all the time, if I were her.
So. Stitches was great, and hello to all you sweeties who said hello, and then I went down south to the little mama’s house for the Oscars on Sunday night (Al Gore, you’ve never been more adorable) and had a great time with my sister Christy on the drive there and back, and this morning I woke up to find this in the backyard*:
How is THAT for a best-case scenario? It fell OVER the fence, but didn’t damage it, and the tree is just resting in our backyard. Must talk to the neighbors about that today, I suppose….
* In actuality, I didn’t wake to find that. I woke, opened the curtain to the window that looks out to the backyard, then decided it was stuffy, so opened the window itself, then went and let the dogs out onto this same porch, then let them back in. Then Lala called and said, "Look in the backyard," and I finally saw what had happened. I am not observant at all before I have caffeine.
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